he watches tool academy.

I'd take one thing away from the list:

"2. In the words of TLC, He's "hangin' out the passenger side of his best friend's ride" or even worse - just walking."

Just to be clear, this isn't some sort of self interest - I have a car, and indeed, a rather nice car.

But being a passenger if some one is going somewhere you plan on going already anyway, or walking, is, in my opinion, a very admirable trait - it shows a willingness to give up control in order to conserve gasoline and preserve the environment.

Think about it.

LOL Oh I've seen #4 before. Wow -. -"

...They're high in demand?

I'm not understanding why #2 is so bad.  Walking is nice, unless we're going uphill the entire trip.  Hahah.

And contrary to the last sentence of the first paragraph, people do refer to blockheads as "just another pretty face," sometimes.  Actually, I think I hear it more often when someone describes a male than a female...Hm.

@FireMapleSong@xanga - "But being a passenger if some one is going somewhere you plan on going already anyway, or walking, is, in my opinion, a very admirable trait - it shows a willingness to give up control in order to conserve gasoline and preserve the environment."

damn straight.  except i dread the idea of owning a car at all.  <3 not needing/having one on campus.

i'd like to see the op carry that attitude in nyc, lol.

I would add arrogance to this list. Anybody who is arrogant just straight up makes me angry. I hate arrogance. Did I make that clear?

I'd just like to say that lots of guys can still be a "waste of a pretty face" or "a waste of a hot body" =/. It sucks, but it happens.

Barbed wire bicep/Chinese lettering tat

he pops his collar.

@iiheartyyou - hahahaha I'm so tired of hearing girls complain then tell me that when I reality smack them to try and defend their relationship!

nice post, but you know that's how most girls are, they like the more spontaneous and more adventurous type vs the more steady yet boring type.  It's just how ppl are, they don't like to lead a boring life when they're still young.  But once they get older and are ready to settle then they go back looking for the non-tool =P

Sure there is, its called a douche bag.

While I don't fit a tool description, I feel that you have unjustly defined a lot of guys as tools just by matching one of your ten descriptions. In other words, you have listed ten things that any man is guilty of doing, so by that logic, we are all tools on that list. As much as I love jumping on the hate-bandwagon they deserve, there are some contradictions (and I'm a sensitive, fat-assed, video game playing nerd), so while I don't fully speak from their point of view, sadly you have misconstrued some aspects. I shall list your list and give contradictions on how men normally do it and why they should'nt be considered tools for it.

1. He takes longer than a maximum of 30 minutes to get ready.

A: And you don't? If a woman wants to look like she's the talk of the town, why can't we? It's attitudes like that that presume the fact that men are supposed to be ugly or just neanderthallish. We too care about how we look like (I'm not a particularly strong example of this), and we don't like to be seen as garbage either.

2. In the words of TLC, He's "hangin' out the passenger side of his best friend's ride" or even worse - just walking.

A: I walk everywhere because I can't afford a car and it's just better exercise. Granted, cars would beat the shit out of walking at any given day, but it's nice to walk around and take in some damn exercise and sunlight. It's not going to kill people to walk a few blocks every now and then. And if he's in the passenger side, odds are he can't drive or it's not his car. Hanging out of it, yeah, that's a tool.

3. He thinks a girl should be drooling at his feet after he says "do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

A: You're downright fucking kidding me if you've never heard a bad (albeit funny) pick up line at least once in your life. Granted, they're the only kinds to try something like that, but still it shows confidence on their part. Women are also VERY, VERY, VERY guilty of doing that shit too, thinking we'll come running if we see a woman just mindlessly flashing her tits, so let's not call me black ok ms. Pot?

4. He claims to read Playboy for the articles.

A: I gotta concede this one to you. It's like if I'm is reading a car magazine for the car issues and info. Bullshit, I'm looking at the hot asian chicks in the bikinis. Not gonna fuck with that logic.

5. He talks about his man organ like it's a nine-foot god waiting to make every girl's wildest dreams come true.

A: Yeah, because you women love to try to damage a man's cocksmanship and correlate it to a man's worth. Men know that cock size (whether we're packing or not) affects confidence only if we let it. However, you women love to believe that size is everything, so men have to maintain the facade/ideology that we know what we're doing with it.

6. He makes a dirty joke that only his tool buddies think are funny.

A: Men make dirty jokes all the time. Fart jokes are funny. We're also prone to a whole shitload of dirty jokes. That's us, we find it funny, you may find it repugnant, but you gotta agree on some boundaries with it, kind of like dark comedy: You laugh at something portrayed in a negative light, but you hate yourself for laughing at it. If you don't like those types of jokes, then tell them, but do get off the high horse and indulge in some toilet humor. Can't really well articulate a fart joke.

7. He talks about himself referring to his huge muscles, killer abs, or how talented he is.

Mileage varies. I can see why you hate that kind of egotism, but it's also confidence and self-respect. If he can do it, he can do it. However, I can also concede this one to you if it's just mindless bogarting.

8. He spends wads of money to make himself look better when we know he really works at McDonald's. Come on, we know that's your tenth maxed out credit card.

A: LMAO! I will concede this one to you. However, given our crapshit economy at the moment, it's still a job. Plus, if he can really manage money off of a mcDonald's paycheck, then he's doing quite well for himself, showing financial responsiblity and proper money management. Don't hate him if he's got a job.

B: Spending money to make yourself look good? I don't do that, but gee, who else do we both know does that? Perfume, Hairspray, Wigs, Boob implants, dresses, pants, shoes you don't wear more than one pair of, electronics and gadgets that are soon outdated, earrings, jewlery, etc. You are all as guilty as the men that do that are. Same reasons too as listed in #1. We like to look good too.

9. Any guy that knows everything about every sport, including the all the players' backgrounds, Social Security numbers, bank account numbers, etc, but get extra quiet with anything that requires brain function.

A: I will concede the fact of the psychosis of knowing sports backgrounds down to the letter T. I watch football from game up to game end, and that's it. Don't follow it after that. However, many men are quite capable of brain function. Granted, not all guys can do everything. Some rock at Chemistry, some are better at law. Some are great in Physics, etc. And this is really a flawed measure, as guys can easily (and I mean easily) fit any of the aforementioned quota, and be a genius. Your claim was just ignorant.

10. Any guy that couldn't care less about how much a girl knows as long as she is hot.

A: You just made it sounds like all hot women are stupid in that one. Despite popular belief, brainy beauties are not all that uncommon, especially in colleges. Furthermore, we men get that same type of rejection from women who, despite all we could do for yas, you reject us because we're "too fat, too ugly, too this, too that, etc.". You women like arm candy just as much we do. Besides, some women aren't above resigning themselves to incubators.

Granted, tools are agitating and are proven as a state of devolution to true manhood, but your list just clearly hit almost any man somewhere at least once. While I can understand that you want a nice man, you're going to have to wade through the Quagmire just as much as men do when we want that right chick.

Don't play the victims, especially when you women keep going after these said guys.