I don't think I want to be loved by a beautiful man.
It would feel great, initially, I'm sure, but I find that beautiful people sometimes (okay, most times) get so caught up in their own looks that they leave their personality far behind - then there is nothing left to back up all that beauty. Perhaps this is why on any given day, I would choose geeks over the good-looking ones (who are oh so annoyingly aware of it).
There is a certain kind of vulnerability about going through the awkward teenage years as a gawky, uncool person, then coming into your own as a better version of that self. I think it gives a person depth and a certain sensitivity that you would never find in the most popular boy in school or the captain of the basketball team.
It is that fragility that I find so precious and so fleeting - perhaps because almost everybody is trying to shed that part of their lives, that awkwardness that I find so attractive, and in the process they end up becoming two-cent copies of their high school heroes. Then all that pain that you're supposed to grow character from is lost.
Do you agree with this post? Are you attracted to fragility and vulnerability in people?
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Comments (48)
faw sho. good-looking guys are hardly ever down-to-earth and have no personality. nerds ftw.
Yes, I most definitely prefer geeks to pretty-boys. I trust them more, and I'm a bit of a geek at heart too (1337 FTW!).
I had my heart broken by a dream guy and I guess that's why I don't trust them.
Yep... unfortunately the "fragile" types I tend to go for usually are depressed. I know I'm drawn to / and draw hurting people, this is why I chose to focus on psychology as my career. That aside... it sucks when it bleeds over into what should be "normal" relationships. Now if I could only learn how to keep the "sick" ones in a professional capacity - and the day to day relationships in a seperate place. Eh.
lol haha i am attracted who are neither pretty and geeky but i still get my heart broken hehe..thats life..
I'm attracted to nutjobs. Seriously. Half of my boyfriends have been batshit crazy.
I don't know what that says about me.
it's funny, a lot of girls say this. and most of the ones who say this have strong, attractive boyfriends that work out every 3 hours and probably joined the varsity football team at the age of 8.
seriously. i was a nerd/geek in high school. everyone thought i was gay because i had a speech impediment, i tried being "emo" to fit in, and i played games nonstop. you know what kind of girls i had? i had the bottom of the barrel, no-where-else-to-turn girls. it took me through all of high school to find a girl that appreciated me for me, and now i have the burden of baggage that i never should've had if these "i <3 nerds" girls actually were true to their words.
in the end, i found the perfect girl for me, but i have baggage that burdens her that i never would've had if i hadn't been the last-ditch-effort guy.
I guess it's kind of cute (like a puppy) when a guy is like that, but cute isn't going to cut it for me.
nerdy dudes are hooooootttt.
and growing up as an awkward teenager myself, i could relate to a fragile guy and have a deeper connection with him.ÂThis is just another stereotype, people are too complex to be categorized like this (yes, even the guys).
I started programming computers when I was 10. I played Dungeons & Dragons with my buddies. I played in the band (concert and jazz band). I got A's in every class I took when I put the effort in, usually I was lazy though and got B's. And I was a starter on every high school sports team I played on (basketball, soccer, football, rugby and track). I wasn't "popular", but I also wasn't an outcast. I dated some and got my heart broken by crushes that told me "you're so sweet, I would never want to lose you as a friend".
Everyone is a unique, complex individual.
I am not attracted to fragility and vulnerability in people, because that would mean that deep down, I feel the need to help the person realize how amazing they are. A bit of a "Mother Theresa," if you will.
I want a guy who is self-confident, but humble. No, he doesn't have to be gorgeous, but I want someone who is cool with however he looks.
In general, however, I've always been attracted to the geek.
I love the vulnerability in people, not just in men, but also in women--in humans-- because that's what I think vulnerability shows--the human side in all of us. And I don't mean "vulnerable" in terms of clumsy and nerdy because then that's limited to only a certain group of people. I'm talking about the vulnerability that each one of us posseses... even those butch football players.
But as far as this post goes... yeah nerdy men can be attractive and endearing, but even more so if they have a big heart.
I am frugal and vulnerable. pick me.
Yes I am not beautiful... I AM HANDSOME!
I think it's going a bit too far to say that the captain of the team doesn't have any depth. You never know what he deals with that no one sees.
But I do tend to like people who don't quite fit in, because there's just something about them that seems so fascinating.
I want a happy medium guy.
Not too strong that they have no feelings.... but not too fragile that I just have to care for them and their over sensitivity all the time.
I've always liked geeks. But I'm not necessarily attracted to fragility or vulnerability. I just valued intelligence. You know what, though, geeks aren't necessarily NOT good-looking. There are good-looking ones out there... just look harder :) I've made the mistake of dating geeks that I didn't necessarily think were attractive. Now I know better.
Generally no. I would say that I like some sensitivity and a sense of caring, but fragility and vulnerability don't fit in there. To me if someone is fragile and vulnerable, it means they're highly sensitive to criticism and while they may not be reliant on others all the time, they will likely be more needy than someone who is fiercely independent. I prefer relationships where I can be frank and open with the girlfriend when I need to be without worrying that she's going to burst into tears or get so upset that she tries to kill me in my sleep with a blunt object.
Considering that love/like/attraction is a rough and often brutal game and that fragile objects are well....fragile, there's a good chance that breakage will occur. And it's a lot harder to pick up the pieces later than avoid it in the first place.
Yes, in fact my boyfriend gave me this monkey that says "I <3 my geek"
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/5bb0/?cpg=ab
Lol, this is really funny. I have dated a lot of good looking guys and I find it sooo annoying because they do get caught up in their looks and forget about everything else. And those relationships never latest very long. I just recently starting dating this guy who isn't all that attractive but his personality totally makes up for it. So yes I do agree with the post.
So far, all my boyfriends have been depressed, geeky, and even a little feminine. I liked it at first, but I want to try something new with my next guy. :]
definitely
While I do not want a guy I feel sorry for, I want someone who has gone through pain and I wouldn't be afraid to show my own. Someone who has learned to stand up for himself but also has a sensitive side as apart of that. It's good to be with someone who actually has had a less than perfect life. They're more interesting and attractive all around. I find "hot guys" to be nothing more than eye candy, and sometimes not even that, while I'm attracted to the "geeks" and more overlooked guys both superficially AND in a deeper way. It turns me on a whole lot more.
K I've said enough. =D
I don't know about fragility and vulnerability, but I'm always attracted to guys who don't look overpowering and are shy. Knowing that he won't spend hours looking at himself in the mirror, knowing he may think you're attractive, but restrains himself instead of ogling at you with his mouth open for the whole time (which kills it for me), I find those things far more interesting in a guy.
I went out on a date with this good looking with a build body dude and at the end - he turned out to be a jerk.
Though my husband is not totally good looking or nerdy, I consider him to be the biggest dork ever. He's fragile and vulnerable in his own ways and has his own story to back it up.
thats the stupidest thing ive ever heard. usually people that think that way are nerdy themselves and never understood why the pretty boys didnt like them but always wanted them. you cant just limit your options by saying pretty ppl tend to have no personality and automatically disregard them. there are plenty of beautiful ppl with great personalities. its absurd to say there isnt because all that means is that the beautiful ppl you have encountered in your life had no personalities. that for fucking sure dosent work universally. i really think its more about American culture and how it drives women to do and act the certain way they do. its sad but not all beautiful people are sad like that. fragile and vulnerability, personally i think are 2 of the most unattractive traits ever. no go on that one
this is outrageous, i strongly opposed... it's like you're judging a book by its cover.. just because someone is good looking, doesn't mean they don't have personality and just because someone is geeky, doesn't mean they are partially or entirely vulnerable and fragile.. we are all unique in our own little way..
maybe it's because you feel like you can "fix" them up? i'm not saying i feel that way, i'm just throwing that out there...