Monday, 02 March 2009
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Background Check Before The First Date?!
I got a call a few hours before a first date Saturday night. The woman wanted to know my FULL name, middle name included. This means she was doing a background check. I'd met her once, in a bar. The date was in a public place (a restaurant) anyway. So..men and women...I'm not asking if you would do a background check on a prospective date.
BUT...would you be offended if they did one on you before the first date?
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- From: Cuisine
- Name: Cuisine
- About Me: Food Blogger in the DC area.
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Comments (59)
I would be. Heck.
Yes?! No way I look shady enough for someone to consider that.
That's a bit paranoid. I mean, in this day and age, anything can happen, but still - what happened to "getting to know you"?
Maybe, but I guess it's understandable. Not that I'd do a background check, but I don't think it'd be very nice to meet a guy in person before finding out that he has a history of violent, sadistic tendencies... So I guess if he wanted to find out whether or not I've had a restraining order filed against me, it would be extra precaution. Not that some people don't deserve a break from their past, but...yeah.
Haha, reminds me of that trailer of The Ugly Truth.
In a way no, if the person is interested to go on the date, there shouldn't be any worries and if they decide to flake because of something done in the past, it's THEIR loss. Plus it would make them look bad rather than yourself, shows their true colors. I mean, I'm not self-conscious about what I've done, I can care less. People are meant to make mistakes and if people want to put you in check and judge you, oh well. :3
Uhm, I would be thrown off. Especially since I'm such a nice person =)
But in all honesty I 'google' and Facebook stalk all soon-to-be dated guy.
Given that you guys met only once in a bar, I can understand her concern. But if she agreed to go on a date with you, she must have some trust in you. The name checking is weird. But give her the benefit of doubt. She may be new at dating? =)
That is pretty creepy.
Haa. That's weird.
I wouldn't be offended, I would just know that they weren't the one for me.
Not offended but weirded out. That would be a complete turn-off.
Not just offended. Violated.
and i thought i was fairly paranoid LOL
i wouldn't be offended if someone did a background check on me, i'd think it was hilarious. but a man doing a background check on a barely 5'2" woman who wears a bright pink bear earred hat all winter is kind of funny!
LOL, ya I'd be offended.
well, seriously? :) i do that too but i just don't tell him so blatant terms of course. If he did that, i would say that he is really into me or interested in me so nothing fazzles me.:)
I think a smart woman would be not to tell the guy she is checking up on him..and just shussh it up..
not offended.. just surprised.. O_O
That is super weird.
Yeah, I would be offended. I think at least half of my rational thought would go out of the window until I talked to the person again to see whether they'd shudder at the sight of me or try and run away. Ha.
Even if things are a tad dangerous in this day and age, I think a background check is a bit much. If you hadn't known each other that long, and the date would be the first time you'd ever seen each other, I would kind of understand her wanting to do that. But, still..
I wouldn't be offended. It just means she's being extra careful, which these days, could be prudent. I mean, I live in 10 block radius of at least a dozen sex offenders. My friend did a background check on a doctor her parents were hooking her up with. The guy turned out to have malpractice law suits.
Like hell I'd be offended! But I guess, if I think about it, I could possibly see where she is coming from. She's keeping her bases covered and she's not taking any chances with the bar scenes. You really don't know who you are going to meet in a bar, online dating service, etc. But I'd still be offended initially.
I wonder. I think it's different for a woman doing a background check on a guy than a guy doing one on a woman.
How do you even go about doing a background check on someone? Do you mean googling them? 'Cause I'm thinking one of those professional kinds.. going to the police precinct or having your police friend look the date up for you... That'd be kinda nuts.
Honestly, I wouldn't be going out on a date with a total stranger, especially someone I met at a bar.. That's just not my style. I'm not comfortable with not having any sort of ties with a person I'm considering to date.. So I'd feel a bit offended if I were dating a friend of a friend & he felt the need to do a background check on me.
wow~ next...
Escorts do it
If people rely on information coming from other institutes and agencies in order to think that they know me.
There's not much that can be obtained...
However, to check up on someone, it's all part of human nature. I am not shocked at all. Knew that when I am not even an adolescent. I guess it's part of the job that I had in mind. It derives from conflicts and competition. Gathering information is also a demonstration of intelligence too.
When it comes to dating others, getting to know the actual person with your own skills and intelligence is my preferred choice... It's fun. Ask yourself about the purpose of a date... I have confidence in my own observations and analytical skills but won't doubt others abilities. There are generally better people from such a wide society.
There's no difference from a guy doing it or a woman doing it, it's practicaly the same thing, in law, a crime conducted by either one of them would be treated the same. However, the punishment can be questionable.Â
There's no point in b/g checking on a date unless it's from a business nature. Well, when you seemingly get to know a person more, you can get more clues to where to search for information...
Hehe.