Usually I am a cheery person, filled with life and hope. Lately, I haven't been.
I just went through a breakup with the the person that I actually feel in love with. It was a very hurtful relationship and as time progressed, I did not know what to believe any more. He was an amazing guy and had a really amazing personality, but apparently he was involved in gang/mafia related stuff. To be honest, I don't know if this is true. I took his word for it since the beginning because...well, I loved him. Time passed and it got to the point where he was slowly starting to kill me on the inside.
Sometimes he would call me around 10 or 11ish at night and say that he was in the park, bleeding, because he just got into a fight with some incredibly violent people. At first, I bought all this; I would worry so much. And he would tell me that I didn't care about him because I wasn't willing to go out there at that time to see him.
Ladies and gentlemen, he lives in Flushing. I live in Long Island (at least an hour, if not further, away). My only transportation there is by bus or the Long Island Railroad (but I'd need a bus to get there). Buses around this area do not run past ten o'clock at night. So what could I have done? He would make me feel horrible because I wouldn't be able to be at his side. The very next day, I would see him and he would be PERFECTLY fine. No gunshot wounds, no blood marks, no surgical scars...NOTHING...Would you believe him?
Slowly I started to hear what was going on in the background; he would tell me that he was in the middle of nowhere, yet I would hear his dog, his parents, his sister in the background...what am I supposed to think?
Admittedly, he isn't the type of guy I would usually go out with, but what can I say? Life plays with your mind many times and I fell head-over-heels in love with him.....
We've tried talking things through, but lately every time we talk, we get into fights.... I want to be with him, but at the same time I don't.... I don't know what to do at this point... Any suggestions? Is it worth putting up with his exaggerations and constantly worrying about him?
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Comments (52)
Um, those aren't called exaggerations. That's called lying.
wtf? this story is ridiculous.
I agree with Fish. Lose the lying loser!
I've dealt with something like this before. He probably wanted you to see him as tough and capable of taking care of himself. he wanted to seem impressive. He doesn't realize that you love him for him, not for the him he's pretending to be. and if he's not going to realize it, it's not worth your time.
I had a bf that was kinda like that. He told me that while I was drunk I beat him up but then he used magic (he said he was wiccan) to heal the skin. it was always like that with him. i put up with it before he actually left me.
your situation is different (there's no magic lol) and he is clearly lying to you. He clearly wants attention. Do you want to date a liar? There should be no reason for him to tell you he got into a fight when he hasn't or that he's out wandering around when he's clearly at home. i know what love can make you do but if he can't talk to you about it, or wont stop, should you love someone like that?
good luck :)
well he seems to love manipulating you and love being in drama. You got a drama king in the making so unless you can truly find the truth from his words or accept his lies and exaggeration then i say you have to say goodbye to him for good.
My ex was like that. Not as bad thankfully lol. But he would make up crap about his past..and that he was involved with the mafia, or more so his friend was and they had connections. He fully believe all this dude had told him. It created a lot of problems between us. He always thinks people are looking at him or after him. Its ridiculous.
This person is a pathological liar, and you are deluding yourself into thinking that these lies are mere "exaggerations".
He is insecure. He is insecure of who he is (so he needs to pretend to be in a gang), and he is insecure of your feelings for him (so he constantly guilt-trips you to feel powerful over you).
If this was a comedy movie, his behavior would have been totally hilarious. But it's the real life, so it's not that funny anymore. You need to press stop button and end this movie!
i live in long island too
but u cant be with someone who lies bc then there is no trust
I just broke up with my boyfriend (who I loved) and it was really tough. We briefly got back together but it just wasn't going to work. Maybe you two need to be single for a bit and then go back to him if you still want to. Just give yourself time to get over him and see if you fall back in love.
o_o
In all honesty, it really isn't worth it. I haven't had someone lie to me like that. But I was in love with my ex gf. And she cheated on me repeatedly. But I was in love and I thought I could work it out. We fought and fought until she just left. And of course I was devastated because I loved her. And I really didn't know if I would ever fall again and if it would be the same.
But I have. And I am happy.
It's possible to fall in love multiple times. And you want someone to fall in love with you back. If he lies to you than he doesn't love you back. And if you really really decide you're just gonna try and work it out with him. Than keep in mind that he is doing all of this because he wants/needs lots of attention and he doesn't know how to go about doing it.
Maybe you should tell him you know and you're willing to help him get over it. That's all I can really say though.
Exaggerations? No . . . I think the right word is lying.
I really think you shouldn't be with someone like that. He makes you worry for no reason at all!
He's making up a total different persona of himself.
wow. you'll find someone else that you can trust...
this story is...waw
take care...
@wherethefishlives@xanga - you're right. and it seems that he has a real problem with it.
Exaggeration? Sounds like a liar to me. Ditch that.
Story of my life! (Not really.)
I do feel so bad for you. I love my boyfriend, but he has a tendency to exaggerate, especially when things get a little stressed. His statements are more along the lines of "I do this ALL the time," when in fact he's done it maybe twice in the last 6 months. Or just general overuse of phrases that include "every time," "positive," and "always." I've gotten used to it though.
Good luck with whatever happens.
@wherethefishlives@xanga - agreed, exaggerations have at least a core of truth and you stretch it. These are outright lies.
Dump him.
@wherethefishlives@xanga - exactly what I was thinking as I read this post... he isn't exaggerating, he's flat out lying.
Lies...ALL LIES!!!! Get rid of him. People like him are evil. I had a friend like that. She only did it for the attention. She wanted people to feel sorry for her but 99% of the things she said happened never did. They need mental help.
@wherethefishlives@xanga - Agreed! GTFO, girlfriend.
Hahaha... it's interesting how women fall for these kind of guys.
I call them liars.
It'll be hard for you, but if he lies to you on a daily basis like this, it's time to get out out of respect for yourself.
@kaybaby666@xanga - that's a pretty cool story. ha. magic... maybe he was just kidding...? but the way you say it makes it sound actually serious, hahaha...
he's obviously lying. tell him to cut the crap or you will cut it for him.
no one deserves those kinds of lies. and yes, they are lies, not "exaggerations."
Not over exaggerating
Just lying to you about a buncha bullshit :)
I'm in loveeeeeee with a self-proClaimed thUGGGGGGGGGGggggggg
nah, G shit ;) Thank fuckin' god I never fell for one..but all my boys were.
@wobble@xanga - he was totally serious lol almost makes me feel kind of embarrassed. i just let him do his thing but this guy really sounds like a liar or a weird attention seeker