Sunday, 01 March 2009
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When He Says "I Love You" And You Don't Feel The Same Way
So I figured that this is a subject to be dealt with because it's happened to me quite a few times in the past. I'm not sure if it's the same for other people as it is for me, but this has to do when a guy tells a girl that he loves her. What happens when she doesn't feel the same way?
For me, when someone says that, I usually end with the answer, "haha stop playing" or joke around and make it seem like the guy is just messing around. I know it's not right, especially with the fact that it's someone's feelings. It's hard to reject them, and without doing anything, they actually keep trying. Guys just feel like the girls don't believe them and feel the need to prove it more...and those three words will come up again..It happened to my guy friend, and he hates that the girl he likes doesn't take him seriously, when really...she doesn't feel the same way (or she does but she just isn't at the same level as he is).
For girls: Have you ever done this to a guy? If so, what was his reaction?
For guys: Has a girl ever done this to you? How do you recover - do you overcompensate and try again?
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- From: lovemigraine@xanga
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Comments (50)
If I don't feel the same way, I just thank them.
i'd just tell him i couldn't lie to him but i wasn't quite there yet, and i would never tell him i felt a certain way if i really didn't...especially telling him i loved him, in that special way...
that wouldn't be fair to him if it wasn't true
I just told him I didn't feel the same way.
I flat out tell them "I'm not ready." If I care for them, but don't LOVE them, I tell them that as well.
If I'm really not anticipating that I will ever love them (see: Guys who move WAY too fast), then I tell them that I'm complimented and leave it at that.
Be like
I don't feel the same for you..
This was my last relationship perfectly. After more than 3 years of dating she told me one day that she no longer was in love with me. As for the second question "how do i recover?" I don't know what to do. Either I go after her again or leave her alone. She of course wants to be friends and feels bad about dumping me but I don't want to "just" be friends.
Laugh .
Tell him, "that's nice ."
or "okay."
They should get the point .
Oh come on... the classic answer to this is "I know" as said by Han Solo in Star Wars Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back when Princess Leia says "I love you" to him before he is frozen in carbonite!
Seriously though, I've never had a situation where I said it to a woman before she was ready to say it back (as far as I know).
You should be comfortable enough to tell the guy how you feel. Don't worry about hurting his feelings.
Mmm, brings back the memory of the day my boyfriend first told me he loved me. I said the exact same thing, "Stop joking" and then "Don't say things you don't mean!" All he did was frown and then in the end he had tears in his eyes because he meant it so much and it hurt him more than ever because he knew I felt the same way back but was too stubborn to say it back. In the end till now, he says it everyday and every moment we're together and away from each other.
@LEGITaddiction@xanga - that..is the cutest..story i've ever heard ;______________;
I had to reject the guy..we're still good friends now though..
that happened to me before..
with my ex and i just said..
"uh huh, me too"
then he would ask me.. why dont you say "i love you" and i just simply say. because it just didnt come out :D
when a guy told me he loved me and i didn't feel the same way, i just went along with it and said it back to him.
I've said "I don't feel the same way towards you right now... But I know I will eventually."
I've never said "I love you" and not meant it. I always mean it when I say it... To anyone. So why should it be different in that situation, you know?
YES this has happened to me many times. Once, it was with a guy that I liked but I didn't feel like it was strong enough to be love. I wish I handled it differently.
In "Grey's Anatomy", when George didn't say "I love you" back and the woman got mad, he said, "Give me some time to really mean it." (meaning he needed time to get to that level and he wanted to say it when he really meant it.)
That was exactly my situation when I realized I loved him but by then I guess he lost hope and stopped talking to me. I wish I had said that line instead.
Laughs* and say "I know!" and if thats becomes awkward just and end it off with a "HAHA JUST KIDDING"
lol, the first time my current boyfriend said it to me, I was so surprised that I went off on this long rant about "what is love anyway?" and "how do you know" and "why do we even need to say that, why can't we show it?"
All are valid, but what I meant to say is "I know I'm headed in the right direction, but I just need a little more time."
I think it helps to have a planned response so that you don't confuse them.
The best thing to do is just be honest with the person. Just say anything you feel for them, and be as direct as possible. If you beat around the bush now, it's only going to hurt the guy more in the future.
If I feel that I'm falling in love with him anyway and will probably be there myself soon, I will say it anyway.
Actually... My last boyfriend, I never loved him, and I said it back to him anyway. I guess I'm just a lying whimp?
But if I don't love him, I won't say it first, I'll just say it in reply...
Yikes. :(
i said that to a girl that ive been really close friends with like 3 years, and she said something id never forget for the rest of my life.
she said, "I'm sorry that i can't love you more than a friend."
This happened to me a few days ago.
My best friend professed his love for me.
(Even though he knows I have a boyfriend.)
I apologized (sp?) profusely and told him that I didn't return it.
Now, he still brings it up every time we hang out.
And it bugs the hell out of me.
Because it makes the friendship awkward. =/
I said it once.. then got rejected. I've also been told that...but I just said he was kidding around. Its hard to take some people seriously especially if you don't understand how those feelings can develop when you guys weren't dating. But it is entirely possible of course. Love doesn't only happen when 2 people are involved.
u should look at him, give him like two winks, blow some kisses and say I love you too! Best way to friend zone someone.
i just did a while bac.i played the thing off by laughin n calllin him crazy..it worked..bt let's c for how long.
I don't tell someone I love them unless I really mean it, so there have been times when I was literally terrified to tell someone. I don't recall anyone ever laughing or joking when I told them that I love them, but one time, I proposed marriage to someone who responded by saying "Oh! You made me burn my cookies!" Obviously, she was baking cookies at the time, and our conversation about marriage distracted her, causing her to burn them. We never married btw.