Once upon a time in a magical world, I was happily engaged and all was right in my small world. She was beautiful by most people's definitions, but physical attractiveness very easily covers character flaws. Especially when, well, we shall leave some things to the imagination.
Very quickly my world was destroyed. The plans I had made for the rest of my life were destroyed by her character flaws, including, but not limited to lying, emotional cheating, manipulation, double standards and a passive, controlling personality. In the midst of attempting to overcome these flaws, (I am not without fault, but we aren't here to talk about my flaws are we?) we found out she was pregnant.
This proved to be the death blow to our relationship. She wished to abort our child and I did not.
Needless to say, she got the abortion and I got all my things back, including a new thing - a deep seeded pain that has yet to work its way out of my soul. I wished bad things upon her. I contemplated enacting those wishes on her myself. A cooler head always prevailed, though. We can all agree that love and heartbreak is far from rational.
So now, some months and year(s) down the road and being over(ish) her, I have discovered new information concerning recent events in her life. The certainty of the information cannot verified, but it is very easy to discern that something horrible happened. I have heard two stories at this point, the first being that her and the guy that she was dating/living with got into a physical altercation. Second was that she was admitted into a mental hospital. Both have enough credibility to make sense. She was quite feisty and not above throwing a few punches if she felt the need; she does have a history of suicidal ideation with attempts x 1 and self mutilation. My guess is that more than likely it was a combination of the two stories.
This is the part where we talk about my faults. Was my initial reaction of satisfaction for justice served wrong? Once the initial reaction passed, a strong urge to come to her aid developed. Currently, I alternate between the two feelings. Is that f***ed up or what? Does anyone else have an instance where you wanted some sort of retribution and once it was dealt, karma style, you felt bad?
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Comments (47)
blinded by beauty
When my recent ex crashed the truck I told him not to spend money on after cheating on me, I laughed.
I do no feel about about it. You shouldn't either.
I think evil thoughts but leave it at that.
See, it just proves that beauty can be an excuse for accepting things like manipulation etc. Amazing that females like that are dated.
Anyway, do not feel bad for her going through bad stuff. None of it is your fault.
Okay, so, she made the choice she thought was right for her, and now you're so bitter that you think it serves her right that she could've been badly hurt?
Yeah, you're fucked up.
She did you wrong. We get that, but no one deserves to be miserable and admitted to a mental hospital.
You should feel bad for her, not take pleasure in her misfortunes no matter how fucked up the relationship between you 2 were.
The description of your gf sounds much like me :o
Karma works in its own accord. It cannot be wished upon anyone by anyone.
I don't see why you can't give her a helping hand if it's within your ability though.
Nope. It's not exactly great to think that way and you'd probably find yourself more at peace with things if you didn't, but as a fellow spiteful person I'll tell you that from my experience it's not unnatural nor all that uncommon. I don't think it's cool how you hold her abortion against her, but for other things (assuming she cheated or abused you in some other way), I don't blame you for being glad that karma took its course.
However, I feel bad too when terrible stuff happens to people I once cared about, because I know them too deeply to not know how they're feeling and when you can picture someone's misery, it's hard not to sympathize. I feel as if people you never knew personally who have screwed you, however, are free game for unbridled vindictive glee.
You can always pity her.
But you couldn't really help her then, could you?
Karma is karma. You can wish ill of someone but it's all up to karma to decide what happens. All I gotta say is just continue to live your life as if she's no longer a part of it like the way you should.
@notjustanothergirl - Kudos
did you talk to her? I think you should no matter how much wrong she did to you, if you do feel guilty you should see if she really is in trouble and maybe you can help her get through it. Everyone deserves salvation.
Of course u want to help her, she was a big part of your life and you loved/love her. U will never get completely over feeling some kind of love towards her. U cant help her though. She has to get over whats going on by herself, plus do u really want to involve urself with someone who made u feel so shitty in the past? As i always say.. people can change, but they will never do a 180. If u want to help her I say keep ur distance. But in the end u will have to live with the decision u make, so do what you feel is the right thing. No one can really tell you what to do. Sure we all want advise, we all want to know the answer, but no one can tell you whats in ur best interest.
Well she WAS your love, hopefully you're not blinded by her (outer) beauty.
But I'm a strong believer in karma, whether its good or bad. And when people get what they deserve I feel pleased knowing that one of the key aspects to my belief system is justified. =]
yeah I believe in karma, so yeah it's sad to know. Anyway, be glad that it wasn't you experiencing a crisis in life.
I dated this one dude in high school. I thought all was fine and dandy until I found out from our mutual cousin that he was cheating on me the entire time we were dating. I broke up with him right away. A couple weeks later, I heard from friends that the girl that he was cheating on me with was also cheating on him. Oh, wow. Did I feel bad? No. Because he got a taste of his own medicine. But that's life. People make mistakes or purposely hurt you so just suck it up and move on.
It's natural to wish ill of someone when they hurt you in so many ways but I think the best way to handle is just to talk about it and have closure. Get a clean break between the two of you.
Though she chose to have an abortion, it was her choice and her body. She probably thought the best way was to have an abortion. You cannot imagine what goes through a woman's mind when she is unexpectedly pregnant.
Be the bigger person in this picture.
I'm sure you feel bad, and most people would in that situation, and I'm sure most people, when hurt, do wish some form of ill will. However, I fully believe that when it comes to the decisions of abortions that 90% of it is up to the woman. Tho you may have wanted the child, either to have a child or as a way to keep her in your life, she may have made the right choice.
Oh God...Shouldn't you just be happy that something terrible has happened to the bitch. Lmao. Leave it alone. Don't feel bad. Karma's also a bitch. Let them fight it out. I think it would be.......kinda fun to watch! =D
You didn't cause it on her, don't feel bad.
I mean but it's okay to care, you once did truely care enough to almost marry her.
I think that's a pretty normal feeling. You are mad at the person for hurting you, and because you are mad at them, you want to get them back somehow. But at the same time, you still care about them, and when you care about someone you really don't want bad things to happen to them.Â
There's no reason to feel guilty. What happens, happens. I think a lot of us are guilty of wishing bad things would happen to someone after a heartbreak, and maybe even feel a sense of justice when they do happen. But it's better to just keep living life and not think about her so much. You know you've got issues if you're absolutely obsessed with getting revenge on her or hoping bad things would continue to happen long after the relationship is over.
So eventually,
Thou will get some karma for taking pleasure and wishing bad things upon her.
Yes?
Be the bigger person here. No matter how fucked up they are or were, you loved them once for a reason ~
Don't like...throw a party about it. lol
But I can understand if you feel kind of apathetic about it. That would be a good approach. Don't get too caught up feeling bad, it's not like you're the one who did the bad things. But yeah, I'd feel a little bad for initially being excited. But I think it's a natural reaction to feel like "Ha ha!" towards people who did you wrong when they get into bad situations. What's important is that you realize that no matter how much you resented her or whatever, she's still human and going through crap like that sucks.But that doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to help her either. She's pretty troubled, I wouldn't get involved in that if I didn't absolutely need to. And don't tease her by showing up and being nice in her time of need, and when she gets better leaving her because you remember why you left in the first place. That would just make things worse. I'd just take a neutral stance about it all and just to try to go on normally with life.
I don't think it's f***ed up. I think it means you're human.
You're allowed to feel compassion. It doesn't mean you have to take her back with open arms.
I've felt the same.
I felt bad about what I did, but soon the guilt quickly passes and I felt better.
I still laugh about it to this day.
OOOOOOoooooooh yeah. It was bad news, he knocked up his now ex (because I'm back as the girlfriend) she had an abortion (she dismissed it as no big deal, a huge emotional shock to my b.f) got on birth control, dumped him two weeks later, and started screwing his old boss. I of course reveled in this (with no intention of of dating him again) until I saw him break down. Needless to say, old problems we resolved, he gained a new appreciation for me, and we're back at happily ever after. Granted, i wouldn't recommend that for everyone...