Friday, 27 February 2009
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Dating And Race And Labels, Oh My
I've always been the white girl since birth. No one ever made such a big deal about it until I was in high school. Even in middle school, no one said that to me. I wasn't white, I was Italian...which is the same thing, but for some odd reason, people swear up and down that it's not. Whatever, that's fine with me. I guess? Only three of these were serious, but I've been with...
- one white/rican
- two Mexicans
- three black guys
- one white/native american
- and one flat out white guy
- plus, my lovely ex-girlfriend who is white
How the hell is that a problem? Aside from the fact that I get around a bit. That's my fear of being alone that makes me always want someone right after I've dumped - sure you can call it a rebound - but the whole point of this is because I hate labels. I'm not racist in the slightest and I'm not a whore in any way, shape or form.
I AM NOT A SOUP CAN! Do not label me.
I'm random and crazy, creative and funny and nice...a little bit too nice sometimes...but I'm sweet and dorky. But I can be a cruel, mean bitch, and heartless...I can totally trash your world and enjoy myself while doing it.
You cannot fit me into one little box then put a pretty bow on top. That is why people call me "the white girl" - it's the only thing that most of them know for sure about me.
Then again, I have a name, does anyone know what that is? Dominique Marie.
I'm a human, I bleed, and breathe, and eat and sleep and despite popular belief, I shit and piss. I scream and cry and laugh and smile. So does it really matter if I'm white or not. If I was black, I'd be exactly the same, people would look at me weird, but so what. People look at me weird now. If I was middle eastern, I'd be the same, people would still hate me for things that I had nothing to do with.
Does it matter if I'm a girl or not? I have a vagina. YAY!? Does that make me more or less likely to be someone? Does that make me more or less likely to be your friend? your enemy? Well, does it? If I had a penis, would I be any different? I don't think so, I'd just be a bit skinner and have better hair.
If the same things that happened to me as a girl happened to me as a boy, I'd still be where I am now. I believe that, I really do. Don't say guys don't get raped, and that they don't get beaten, or they don't puke their brains out to fit into jeans, because they do. I'd still be the same sweet, kindhearted metalhead weirdo that I am now, No matter how contradicting that may seem!
I'm just tired of everyone trying to label me; I'm not for sale.
Have you or someone you've dated been labeled lately? How'd it feel?
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About the Author
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- From: DommieGirlLovie@xanga
- About Me: I'm a girl, No you can't check. Just trust me. I have beautiful eyes, and thats about it. I write more then I talk, and I talk a lot. So you can imagine. I'm short, chubby, and adorable. When I want to be atleast. I'm easy to amuse, and I'm easy to please. All I want in life is; My two dogs, four hamsters, and my penguin. Every book, poster, and movie, on Kurt Cobain. Every book, poster, album, and movie, with Jared Leto. Every single everything with or about The Beatles. I want to get married, have a house, and a car. A job to support myself, and I want to have a baby. I don't think thats a lot to ask for, but who knows. Maybe it is.
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Comments (36)
There are always labels around here, but they're usually not derogatory. I guess I understand your point of view, but most of us have gotten used to being called "that Asian girl" (even though, over here, it's not really very descriptive. Haha!), or "that Mexican guy," or something similar.
I do wonder, though, about being called "white." It's a race, right? What other race would Italian fall under if not white?
Anyway, it's difficult to rid the world of labels. They - specifically the ones that aren't insulting - do make identifying or describing people a much easier process.
Well, if you look at it in a certain way, we are a lot like soup cans, minus what we're made of and our contents. The clothes we wear, our skin color, etc is like the paper around the can. There's nothing else you can do other than get used to it, because judging isn't going to go away -- neither are labels. Though I certainly sympathize with you.
it gets annoying sometimes to be labeled... people like to make assumptions about everything. if you don't know ask. i hate ignorant people.
I'm Asian and just bc I'm Asian, a lot of people assume I'm "Chinese." I hope they know that there are a lot of ethnicities that falls under the race Asian. But still.., I think everyone hates to be labeled by others ignorance.
or how about age labels....making assumptions about who you are because of age sucks too.
@jeezshoua@xanga - same here!!! I'm automatically "Chinese" when they talk to me. They start to speak slower when speaking to me because they think I won't understand english- lol. And it's always the eyes. haha.
Sorry people are so judgemental toward you. Move to Alaska and it'll stop :)
When people start yakking to me in Spanish or ask me if I was born in Mexico, I get pissed.
I think referring to someone by their race is offensive, it means that person isn't important enough to be addressed by their name. I love the white man, and their is nothing wrong with that. They are beautiful and smart, the ones I see. But I will try black, Asian,and others except Latin.
@joycemiles@xanga - Do you get the "ching chong ching chong" bs too? Because I got it all the time in HS.
I swear.. some people are just so naive and ignorant.
@jeezshoua@xanga - I get that business alot when I was in grade school. After high school, I can only count one time where I heard that stupid phrase again. I was walking my girlfriend to the train station and this random, old white guy stops, looks at us, and then goes ,"Oh, ching ching chong chi?" We both stared at him and then just kept walking.
Sometimes, I really wish I could just own people by speaking better English than they do (and chances are I do).
I can't be labeled (at least not definitively), because I'm mixed. Throughout school, there were Black girls that didn't like me because they thought I was stuck up and "not Black enough," and the Koreans never expressed desire to hang out with me because I didn't speak Korean/I wasn't *full* Korean. I have a mixed range of friends, but a lot of the closest ones are Black, but far from the "typical Black person," whatever that's supposed to mean.
I've been involved with: half-White/half-Chinese; half Hispanic/half Russian; Black; White; Black-but-looks-mixed (not to mention mostly hung out with Asians); and Cambodian. And that doesn't include the guys that I've been interested in but they didn't return my feelings.
So needless to say, I'm a pretty well-rounded person and there's no single trend, personality type, etc. that I follow. But nonetheless, I still get labels/jokes every once in a while. It's annoying. I'll write a blog post about it sometime, because this comment is about to get too long.
@laytexduckie@xanga - Oh wow. I thought people would mature when they get older but obviously not. I would of said something along the line, "Sorry, did you say something? We don't speak or understand your language." Give him a wink, laugh in his face (okay, kidding...), and leave. lol.
Make him look like the jerk in the picture.
@jeezshoua@xanga - I almost told him to "go fuck a goat." Hahahah. But I held my tongue. Although now I wished I would have said it. Hahahah.
@jeezshoua@xanga - Hahahaha! I'm not even American and I've never been to the US, but I get the "ching chong ching chong" business back when I was in school.
HAHA! That just cracked me up so much, the term!
@KasumiCelesta@xanga - It's refreshing to be that different one. Meaning, you don't conform to what people want you to be or assume you to be. :)
@laytexduckie@xanga - Yeah, it's a nice feeling :) I really wanted to try to jump into the Asian community at my high school, but for some reason I felt like I was being alienated. From that point I just decided, "Forget this, I've got friends who accept me for me." I despise being labeled and stereotyped!
Oh, and my brother and I also got the "ching chong" thing when we were little! My brother had very "Asian-looking" eyes and got teased for it...he ended up getting into a lot of fights in school :(
sometimes being labeled is fun...then you get the chance to prove that you aren't part of that label. it makes life interesting.
@KasumiCelesta@xanga - That sucks. Well, eventually he will learn to ignore it and then eventually be on top. I try not to let those things bother me because it's not worth it.
It is kind hard fitting into the Asian groups. Generally, here at art school, the Koreans are always in one giant group. And then rarely, I get to talk to one of them. Then again, their first language is Korean so I guess they try to feel comfortable with those are just like them.
Being white and Italian is almost the same thing. White is your race while Italian is your nationality.
I do agree that we should look at people for who their and not what they are. But culture is so important and fascinating. If we drop the labels, do we drop the culture as well? I think it slowly starts to deteriorate if we do. People would careless to preserve it.
Either way, I hate the term interracial relationships. I see no point in it.
labeling fails.
few words from my homies 3OH!3
"I've got 5 fingers on each hand from every mistake that I've made
Plus my tongue is tied to tonsils
and I need to shit and shave
I'm a shade too pale for handsome and I've got habits I can't shake
But if you try to take that from me then I'll never be the same"
Haha, my label is "Honorary Asian White Girl" in my group of friends, as most of my best friends are Asian... And have raised me as such. :]
I don't know, labels have never bothered me too much, it's the stereotyping that comes along with labels that gets to me. Nothing wrong with having a culture or anything like that, either... I mean, how boring would L.A. be without them?
Why did only the "girlfriend" get described as a "lovely ex"?
I despise "lesbianism" and "bi-sexuality".
try dating asian guys... most of them r sweet n nice .....
I honestly don't mind being labeled, its not an issue with me.
I think people who don't want to be identified by labels are just trying to be individualists, who, in the irony of it all, are just like everyone else.
Let's say you brought a nice chocolate cake(race pun haha) from a store. You took it home, ate it, and swore on your life that it was the best cake you ever had.
Now, say you go back to the store after that cake, and buy another chocolate cake, just because the first was so good.
And after the first bite, it tastes like shit. You can just taste the horrid coon and ignorance and booming rap music that disturbs your sleep every night. You hate it, and wonder exactly why this cake was so bad. It was because you simply expected the same cake to taste just as good as the last, because that was how it was labeled.
The conclusion is, you can go ahead and label me if you like, but don't expect every cake to taste as good (or bad) as I do.
Eh I got friends who made fun of my race, or those people who just assume you know everything because of your race/ethnicity. I hate it when a certain group of people sees you, they automatically expect something from you, like you have some sort of standards to follow. Then when you turn out not to be like how they wish you are, they just started to question you, ask you why the hell not, and give you disgusting looks at the end. God these people DISGUST me, makes me wanna puke.