From my own experience, I have found that opposites don't necessarily attract. I met my complete opposite and we became (what I thought was) good friends. He ended up liking me.
I didn't share his feelings and we became more and more frustrated with each other because of our differences. His introvertedness clashed with my extrovertedness. After a while, we couldn't stand each other even though we communicated, it was like a train wreck just waiting to happen.
In movies, polar opposites attract, creating many cute lovers' quarrels that eventually get resolved and result in a "happily ever after" moment. But is that reality? Do opposites attract more than those who are similar? Do opposites attract at all?
True
Comments (53)
What an interesting question, I can not wait to read the answers.
I don't think so.
It's one thing to have minor details different, but overall it's important that they have the major things in common.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Most idiomatic expressions have inverses and this one is no exception. Sure, in some cases, opposites DO attract. At the same time, those who are more similar, those who share common interests, will also be more likely to band(and bond) together.
I think it really depends on How different you are, and what similarities you Do share. If you are too different, you aren't going to find any common ground to build a relationship--friendship or more. Differences also add a new element to a relationship though, you won't get bored of each other, and will be constantly learning new things from each other. I think a healthy mix of differences and similarities is what really attracts. In my experience anyways. :)
I wouldn't say opposites attract completely. A better ideal that I like to use is to find the person that can complement you the best. That person might be the opposite of you, but not necessary.
When I first introduced my boyfriend to my best guy friend. He told me he could not believe that we were together because he said we were so much a like. I think women are attracted to men like their fathers (or best father figure) and vice versa with men and their mothers. -I am a lot more like my dad than I am my mom. And my boyfriend is also a lot like my dad in ways too. However, we do have our differences.
the characters in my korean dramas that are like polar opposites seem to hit it off pretty well
. lmao. they're very realistic!
but besides that, no. i don't know the answer. but the hopeful romantic in me would like to believe that opposites attract. i'm in love with the cliche.
I think it depends on what kind of opposites they are. There could be cases where they kind of complete eachother and make the "super human" when they're together, because where one has faults in a certain area, the other has good things that make up for that. However, there are some opposites that are destined to fail from the beginning because they don't fit like that.
The same goes for people who're alike though. It just depends on the people at hand, how they're different, how much they're different, etcetc.
When I come to think of it, my husband and I are pretty opposite from each other but we do share some common things as well. I think it can work but there also have to be a balance in between the relationship. Maybe one can do his things and he can do her things as well. Compromising, I guess.
Opposites typically attract each other in the beginning, but I find that shortly thereafter, the initial excitement and interest wears thin. If you're seeking a long-term committed relationship, I would recommend being a little bit more rational and picking someone who has more in common with you than not.
And by the "rational" bit, I was only speaking from experience--as I have had my heart broken by various guys who seemed to only be attracted to me for the first 15 minutes, hehe. So don't just lead with your heart--lead with your mind as well!
Opposite attracts - that doesnt apply to me
We were on opposite ends - it just didnt work out
I like people with similar personality than me - we're able to connect easier - cause obviously they can understand me
Opposites CAN Attract.
You just have to be willing to stick with each other.
A lot of the time - the reason we don't go about attracting our opposite - is because we don't want to go to all the trouble of finding someone different. In the end: we settle for someone more like ourselves.
opposites can attract, that's why people started saying that about relationships anyways. because they've seen it happen and seen it work.
doesn't work for everyone, but it works for some. if you naturally get along with anyone then definately
My boyfriend and I are "opposites" in the way we think, but our ideals are very similar.
Complete opposites don't attract, but it's good to spice it up a little.
They seem to attract at first but as you've said, it wares off pretty quick and it becomes work just to be with someone and that's no way to go through a relationship.
The phrase "opposites attract" usually apply to the things that are extraordinarily noticeable. For example, cool person #1 and angry-at-the-world person #2 like each other, and it works out. Why? Because the things that matter most to them are similar. Maybe they have the same ideals, come from the same background, and agree on the same parenting style. Maybe they balance each other out. In most cases, "opposites" don't really attract; similar people attract each other. It just might not be apparent at first glance.
Opposites do attract. I dated my opposite and was in a relationship with him. So it does happens haha.
According to psychology, similar people attract. I don't really know who came up with the "opposites" thing, unless someone really was getting magnets and people confused.
Opposites do attract. You just gotta learn how to find a middle ground and open up to knew things.
I think so, definitely. I'm a really calm person. Erm, you might in fact just think I'm a stoner, but I'm not; I just act really chill. The last guy I dated for two years was my complete opposite in terms of personality. He was so hyper and spontaneous and just...random haha. I guess our relationship went something like he would entertain me so much and I'd laugh and he'd love it haha. I mean, of course we talked frequently about serious things, but in terms of the more lighthearted part of our relationship, that's how it went.
Maybe it's just that people "complement" each other. That guy mentioned above was also an agnostic asian american. I don't think opposites attract so much that I would be likely to date say...a really outgoing, flirtatious black man.
Opposites do attract, but you need to have certain characteristics that are similar in order to sustain a relationship.
I always thought
opposites attract, but they dont stay together.
thats my little twist to the phrase, and well its true.
sometimes ppl with radically different personalities, might have some sort of chemistry, but shit wont last long, at all.
Opposites only attract (and stay together) if each person desires to have someone who ISN'T like them.
For example, two shy people may not get along very well because they're both quiet. So a shy person would probably prefer someone who is more outgoing than they are. It might also apply to people who have different base personalities, but share the desire to learn and discover new things.
But of course, if the two people are COMPLETE opposites in every aspect, it probably wouldn't go very well.
Me and my bf of almost 2 years are complete opposites. He's an extreme extrovert who loves sports, loves to socialize and hates books or anything that requires concentration and thinking, while I'm a typical introvert who prefers staying in, hates sports and enjoys studying and doing other nerdy stuff.
Our differences definitely put a strain on our relationship. I wish he could be more like me and he wishes I could be more like him at times. But with time I guess we've come to accept each other for who we are and we just find a balance in between our opposing natures.
In my case, he found me mysterious and became attracted to me because he didn't understand me as we had such different personalities. He thinks I am very different from everyone he knows. I on the other hand was attracted to his energy, though it still overwhelms me at times. He says I calm him down and bring some peace and balance to his life.
But I gotta admit that I get along much better with people who share similar interests and personalities as myself. It is also a known scientific fact from many psychological and sociological studies that people with similar interests attract and maintain long lasting relationships.
I guess in the majority of cases, the attraction between opposites comes only at the early courting stage of a relationship.
I think you need to have SOME things in common.