So today I was at a training session for work. Seriously, work is the last place I expect to get hit on, especially in my profession (primary education isn't exactly hot job for men - especially not young, single ones). But of course, to add to the overall weirdness of my day, I met this random guy.
Well, it's not so much that I met him...he decided he wanted to meet me. He actually asked my friend next to me to move so he could talk to me. I was writing lesson plans or something, so I didn't notice him sitting down until he started talking to me. He introduced himself and told me which school he worked at, and I greeted him in what I'm sure was a tentative and slightly confused manner (why on earth was he talking to me?). He said, "I'll just cut to the chase. I think you're really attractive."
He let me know that he was single, I was "one of the cutest girls in the room", and was I married? Then he asked for my number. I politely refused, and he left after a couple more minutes.
So here's the thing. If you are trying to get my number, don't call me "cute" and don't call me a "girl". I know I'm young, but I'm not THAT young, and both of those terms are patronizing. If you are attracted to me, say something that makes it sound like you are attracted to me as a
woman, not as a girl. Pretty, beautiful and attractive all work well. We're both adult professionals, and talking to me that way does not make us sound like equals.
But that's just me...does being called "cute" bother you, too? Which phrases or words do you find patronizing?
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Comments (53)
Good grief, learn how to take a compliment! It took that man guts to come and talk to you, a complete stranger, and you were more-or-less rude to him.
Did you explain what you thought of his choice of words? How was he to know? He was brave: he attempted to strike up a conversation with you, be upfront and you just blew him off due to a few words that he mentioned. Unless you have neon lights flashing around you saying "do not say these things to me!", how was he to know?
You were a bit inconsiderate, really. To me, his choice of words would have made for a very interesting, different conversation topic.
"Cute" doesn't bother me. It's when I'm walking down the street and some weirdo honks his horn and says "hey baby
"... THEN that bothers me.
i hear cute, hot, sexy, yummy, etc.. thrown around a lot by women my age, but rarely does anyone ever say handsome. i would be very impressed and honored if a woman complimented me by saying i was handsome instead of cute. and beautiful would have been a more appropriate way to describe you.
No, being called "cute" doesn't bother me. I love being complimented. It's nice. Hies choice of words doesn't matter so much, unless it's something really offensive or something like that.
More than any other description, people usually call me cute. I don't find it patronizing...I'll accept a compliment any day (if it's honest). I'm the kind of girl you would call "cute" rather than "sexy" or "hot". I'm fine with that... though I aim for "beautiful".
Woman are so spoiled with attention. I'll gladly take being patronized over being ignored. I didn't know it was bad to be cute...?
Though "cutest girl in the room" could kind of make it seem like "in this room, you are the cutest, but not necessarily cute". Still, I honestly would not have thought SO into that I'd think the term "cute girl" itself would be an insult. It's not like he said "you're a cute LITTLE girl, do you want daddy's number?" Or something like that.
I mean, your reasoning taken to it's logical conclusion means all sexing nouns should be removed from flirtation. That sounds like terrible flirting to me.
honey or hun...i absolutely detest being called honey or hun....ooh, or sweetie.
I get why you would be offended, but I personally wouldn't take it that way. A compliment is a compliment... and I would have said thanks for the offer, but politely refused as well. I'm not only taken, but I don't go for the type of man who approaches me like that.
I guess it's silly but those guys are not my type.
I have to kind of agree with the first comment. He was giving you a compliment, how was he to know that you didn't like his choice of words? He probably felt pretty bad about the entire thing afterwards (That had to be a blow to his ego) and that could have been avoided if he had known it was only his choice of words.
I kind of understand what you're saying about the general words, though. I don't mind being called cute, but when random guys call me cute? Not cool. In fact, I don't like random gentleman complimenting my appearance out of nowhere to begin with. I wouldn't shoot them down though, it's not like they could possibly know my disposition in that area.
I call my boyfriend handsome all of the time, I think that's better than calling him cute. It's also more honorable than going around calling him sexy or hot on a regular basis. There's a certain time for every one of those compliments. I actually don't believe he's ever called me cute, and I'm thankful for that; I much prefer it when he calls me beautiful or gorgeous. (:
well, i'm glad to see most people are disagreeing with the op.
also, as far as i'm aware, when a girl calls a guy cute it's more of a "i wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole" kind of thing, whereas when guys say it to girls it's a good thing.
I understand where you're coming from. When something is referred to as "cute" it's usually something that isn't taken seriously; it catches your attention but it doesn't strike you as something extraordinary. It has a different connotation than "beautiful" or "attractive."
However, I do agree with some others that a compliment is a compliment. I would probably have done the same thing you did by politely refusing his offer due to his lack of tact in approaching me.
I find I agree with you. I'd rather be called "beautiful" or "attractive" or something rather than cute. A 2 year old is cute. A kitten is cute. Trying to pick me up? Don't conspicuously compare me to a child. :)
And about the rest of the commenters: It's not that it's not taking the compliment, it's just not the right way to try and pick up a woman, you know? "Cute" just isn't the right way to do it sometimes.
I wouldn't be offended, I'd say thank you, but I don't think I could take the guy seriously.
I hate being called hot. I find it very demeaning. I'll take pretty, beautiful, even cute. but hot? no thanks.
Well I agree, cute is a bit kiddish but then cute is just a compliment. To me it's a, "hey I'd like to get to you know more, maybe we can be friends" type thing.
i gotta go with cmdr_keen on this one.
Cute is good! :)
But the girl comment wasn't...!
I think I get called "cute" more than anything else. It doesn't bother me
People call me "cute" all the time. Age, height, and size are a factor. I'm 19 years old, 5'0", and weigh about 104lbs. I don't like the word "cute" because it's what I use when referring to puppies and small children. I don't exactly like being called "pretty" or "beautiful" or "hot" either though. I'm not big on compliments about my physical appearance. I don't mind the occasional "you look very nice" compliments. Those make me feel more like a mature adult that if someone says "you're pretty." But that's just me; I'm rather strange like that. haha
men are dumb and will never say the right things. you find a man that doesn't call you "cute"the first time you meet, two months later he will mess up and tell you the food you eat is high in fat. nobody is perfect, just because he messed up the first impression doesn't mean he doesn't deserve the second!
sorry lady, that was pretty rude
cute girl is okay, but i don't think it should be used when you're in a professional context
I'm only 18, and I've gotten hit on by guys from 18 to 28, but I think it's so attractive when a guy uses mature phrases.
"I'm very attracted to you."
"I find you very attractive."
I prefer than any day over:
"You're really cute, girl."
"I think you're fiiine."
I'm at an age where it's fine to be called cute, so a guy doesn't lose any points by calling me cute. I think I'm more cute than hot at this stage. Plus, I'm asian...we just hear the words "cute" way more often in general haha.
I have guys complimented from being cute to pretty to beautiful. I really don't mind or prefer any certain term. A compliment is a compliment but when I'm walking to go somewhere or get something, I hate it when guys just shout out, "You fine!," or "What's up, mamacita?," or "Hey, sexy thing!" It's just weird.. and annoying.
But you shouldn't be too harsh on the guy. It took him some guts to come and talk to you. Though his choice of words weren't in your taste, cut him some slack.
At my age and with my body size, "cute" is the only realistic compliment I could be given--so I'm trying not to be so bothered by it. I can understand why you might find it a bit patronizing. I would probably not like it coming from a stranger, but from someone I'm already acquainted with, it would be alright.
the worst pick-up line to say to a girl ever in the world:
did you fart cause you blew me away!!!!!!!!!!!ha ha ha
lol yeah, i had this skateboarder ask me to be his friend on myspace because i was pretty. He should've approached it a different way, it made him seemed shallow a bit.Â
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