Tuesday, 24 February 2009
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He Gave Her A Ring That Was For Another Woman!
The other night one of my girlfriends (Julie) called me and a few of our other girlfriends out to dinner. She told us she had some great news to tell us. Well, when we arrived, she told us that Mark, her boyfriend of five years, had finally proposed to her and flashed her one carat blue diamond three stone ring to us. We all ooh and ahhed, congratulated her and asked when this exciting news had happened. She told us two months ago. We all looked at each other, wondering why she waited two months to tell us and why we never saw her wear her engagement ring during those two months.
She finally came clean to us and explained that the ring he'd proposed to her with wasn't exactly intended for her. Mark offered her the ring that he proposed to his ex with (they were together seven years ago, even before he met Julie). She found out because while she was asking him the general questions like when did you get this ring? How much is it worth? Why did you choose this ring?, he slipped up and told her he bought that ring because it went well with her blue eyes. She doesn't have blue eyes - they're hazel.
Eventually, they talked it out and she was convinced that even though he bought that ring for another woman in his life, she's in his life now and that's all that matters.
Personally, I couldn't accept or wear a ring knowing that my husband had bought it for another woman. Every time I'd look at it, it'd just remind me of why my husband bought that ring in the first place - it was a symbol of commitment to another woman and not me.
Ladies, if you were Julie, would you accept the ring that your significant other purposely bought for another woman before you? Or would you throw it out the window and tell him to return when he realized how wrong it was with a new ring?
Guys, have you ever done this or will you even considered doing this?
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Comments (141)
While I know that I'm in his life and thats all that matters...I don't want a ring that was intended for another woman. I told my boyfriend, I don't care if the ring cost you $100 as long as it's pretty and doesn't turn my finger green I'm perfectly happy. I want a ring meant for me.
I wouldn't accept that, ESPECIALLY if he got my eye color wrong. No way.
I'd rather a have a ring from a Cracker Jack box that is all mine, but that's just me...
I see your point, it's nice that he came clean though.
I'd be happy with a Haribo gummy ring :)
No way. It will be a painful reminder in a way.
Yeah, I hope that I am never with someone who would be inconsiderate enough to do that.
I can understand both sides. The woman's side, I understand because you want a ring that is only intended between you two. But for guys, what happens when the ex screws him over when he was about to propose and yet he wouldn't be able to return the ring? It can happen and not all guys are made of money. My friend reused a diamond that belonged to his mother (she gave it to him to put on an engagement ring for his fiance). He was only able to afford the ring (barely) since he is still going to school and paying for everything.
But, maybe one way to avoid this is to maybe not even go through this whole "buy a ring to make the engagement official" thing. Just be happy that he would want to spend the rest of his life with you. Does he really have to show through making a whole investment on something worth alot less than his love for you?
@moonlament@xanga - pawn it. duh.
why would i want a ring that matches some other chick's eyes? lame.
It's an expensive piece of jewellery. If he couldn't return it, what else is he supposed to do with it?
And what if the ring was a family heirloom? Is he supposed to get rid of it and get you something new just because the first girl turned him down?
@LadyLibellule@xanga - If it was an heriloom......acceptable. But otherwise, heck no!
He should have taken it back to the jeweller. That's not for me, if my man gave me something he bought with another woman in mind, I'd smack him, and consider if he was even the one.
i can relate to the guy, but i would NOT have given her that ring.
my fiance left me, so i took her ring back. i couldn't bring my self to sell it at the time, so i put it in my safety deposit box, and it's been there since. the way i look at it, that ring is an investment. if and when the next time comes for me to propose to the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with (and hopefully i can make a better decision than i did the first go around), I will trade that ring in, or sell it, and use that to get a new ring - one that is for the woman i will marry.
if i sold it now, i'd probably end up spending the money. so really, it's just savings that i can't spend.
Oh gosh no! It would be really hard to wear a ring that was meant for someone else. An engagement ring is a very personal thing. Shouldn't the ring be picked out especially for you? I think that giving a woman a ring that was not meant for them shows lack of care on the man's part. If he loves the woman, he would pick something special for her, not give her what he has left from a previous relationship.
I actually have a friend who this happened to. She was stupid and accepted the ring. Did they end up actually getting married? No. They had a lot of issues, the ring being just one of them.
It just makes him seem cheap.
WTF.
xo
@laytexduckie@xanga - I think giving your soon to be fiance a ring that was intended for his ex is wrong but reusing your mom's diamond to put on a ring to give to your soon to be fiance is another story. That, I can live with and wouldn't mind but just knowing the fact that he bought it for another woman in his life, just doesn't sit well with my mind.
If he can't return the ring, pawn it or sell it somehow, someway.
It's like, giving him a used condom from another guy who used on you to him.
lol.
I'm not a big fan of jewelries either and I'm perfectly happy if my husband bought me $100 that was intended for me.
Heirloom yes
Heirloom offered to another woman at a time yes
ring BOUGHT for another woman no!
pawn that ring and if need be get me another one FROM the pawn shop. see if you can swap it out. I dont care how much it cost as long as the metal doesnt turn my finger green and make it itchy. if i was the one thought of when it was bought then yes!
@admiral_007@xanga - kudos.
"they were together seven years ago, even before he met Julie"
He has had seven years to return the damn thing, and instead he saved it for his next bride-to-be? WTF? There is no way that I would accept that ring. I would tell him that obviously he had picked it out specifically for that woman, and I want him to do the same for me.
If it was an heirloom, give it to another sibling to give away. I would always think about who it was originally for.
"Get me a different ring. Or you'll start to call me her name" is what I'll be thinking.
this is one of those things that guys don't always think is a big deal but a lot of girls do.Â
No way in hell I'd accept that ring.
This is so awkward. Your friend comes out saying she's engaged but that the ring wasn't for her? I wouldn't even have the guts to admit that to my friends!
I think they should trade it for one that matches HER eyes.
a ring izza ring izza ringÂ
get over it
im a guy and if i bought a ring for an ex and shes no longer in the picture..i mean id have to do somethin with the ring. women shouldnt be so caught on if the ring belonged to someone else b4 them because REALITY IS...his love belonged to someone else at another time as well. So accept the ring and be glad that YOU are the one wearing it and not anyone else.
Not after that slip-up. Whaaack.