Tuesday, 24 February 2009
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Lying to Guys about Your Age
I've recently started dating my sweetheart - we'll call him "Jack". I met Jack online, and he's a real cutie. However, I lied about my age, and even though we've been dating since November, he still doesn't know that I lied. Of course, the age difference isn't much, but I hate the fact that I lied. "Jack" is all I could ever ask for in a guy, and I feel terrible about it. I always managed to forget, and I tell myself, "Oh, I'll tell him next time we talk on the phone.." Of course, I put it off. I know it's not fair, but I'm just so afraid of how he'll react!
I know that I have a few choices. Tell him, break up with him, don't tell him and face plenty of problems, or... just something else?
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Comments (54)
Why did you lie in the first place?
While it's not that big of a deal, you are knowingly deceiving him and that really isn't a good foundation for a relationship. My best advice is just to say "Hey, I have something to tell you. When we first started talking I wasn't completely honest about my age." The ball would then be in his court on whether or not he is willing to overlook it and continue the relationship.
Good luck.
Tell him. Then it's his choice to do what he will. You can't do much besides tell him.
if you want to stay with him, you have to take the risk and tell him the truth. if he doesn't like it, then he didn't really like you.
why did you even lie..lol
Tell him the truth. Let him decide what he wants. If it were me, I probably wouldn't think it's that big of a deal..but if you lied to him about that, he might wonder if there are bigger things you're not telling him, or won't tell him in the future..Just be honest.
Well.... he WILL find out eventually. When he does, don't you want it to be because you told him? And sooner, rather than later?
Tell him you're really sorry and you only wanted to impress him. But now that you're getting involved and you're really starting to like him more and more, you want to be 100% honest with him.
I'm not understanding why you lied in the first place if the age difference isn't all that serious. On some real shit, you better hope for the best & expect the worse. This shit has happened to me once. I didn't lie about my age but, my friends did before they introduced me & I got the shitty end of the deal... Back to being single.
Well you know he'll probably find out eventually anyway, right? Maybe he already knows but isn't saying anything about it because it doesn't matter. I would just go ahead and tell him; I like the way TornadoChaser@momaroo suggested; doesn't sound like he'd get offended if you put it to him in that manner.
If you want this relationship to become more serious, he will find out sooner or later. So why not come clean your first? It looks worse for you if he finds out about it himself.
Honey, you need to TELL HIM. You don't want to keep putting it off until he finds out on his own, do you? He'll be wondering what else you've been lying about.
TornadoChaser had the right idea - tell him you weren't completely honest about your age at the beginning and that you want to set it straight. Unless you're keeping other things from him or he has a history with liars, it shouldn't be too big of a deal.
Definitely tell him. It's better for him to hear about it from you personally than for him to see your ID or hear about it from your friends. And if he chooses to overlook the fact that you lied, then good for him. And if he chooses to breakup, then he just wasn't for you.
My first boyfriend lied about his age to me... And I would have dated him even if he had been his real age. What bugged me is that he didn't tell me how old he really was until we were over.
I really think you should just tell him about it... The sooner the better, y'know? Just say something along the lines of "When we first started talking, I wasn't really completely honest about my age..." Don't insult him or imply he's shallow by saying something along the lines of "I didn't think you'd like me if you knew my real age."
My current boyfriend lied to me about his age. The age gap was already big to begin with and his real age made it even bigger!
He was afraid that I would leave him when I found out the truth but I saw how sorry he was and knew that he cared about me so I didn't let it ruin the relationship and I've been happy ever since!
You should you "Jack". Secrets and lies don't help a relationship and if he cares about you maybe he'll understand why you lied and accept your apology :)
tell him the truth..:) at least u know now compared to later when u are more into him and more in love with him.
I don't see why people need to lie about their age. You should just have a sit down with him and tell him. You should have told him the truth right from the start, but waiting to tell him might only make things worse. Don't wait. Just tell him.
@TornadoChaser@momaroo - thats probably... scratch that... definitely the best answer to this question.
he'll be ecstatic to hear you're only thirteen.
Just tell him. Age is just a number after all..unless you're not legal yet.
what's the big deal. tell him. why would it be a problem?? o.O
Why lie in the first place?
I think that if someone lied to me about their age I would dump them on the spot though, even if their real age wasn't that big of a difference. I mean if they're so ready to lie to me about something like that RIGHT off the bat, what makes them think I can trust them?
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@abcxunt@xanga - LOL.
Tell him, dun lie to him anymore!
Just a age problem... not so serious....
But at the 1st lie him is not a good thing, may be he will angry but if u 2 are love each other so much, this just a small case
TELL HIM!!!
A relationship shouldn't be founded on a lie.
@misswonderj@xanga - Fuck yeah. I agree.
Ya, just tell him... as a guy, I wouldn't really care about your age (as long as you're legal), but I would be somewhat upset that you lied. The longer you continue to lie, the more upset he'll probably be.
Question. If the age difference was not so bad..why lie ?