Sunday, 22 February 2009
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My Boyfriend Is Bi But More Into Girls...
My boyfriend and I are bi guys, but I'm more-into-guys-bi and he's more-into-girls-bi. He told me this soon after we started going out, and now I can't help but feel inadequate. I mean, what if some beautiful (or slutty) girl comes up to him and starts hitting on him? Would being with me stop him from having sex with the girl? Or because I got a heads-up that he's more likely to sex up some girls, would it suddenly make it all right?
I asked him about it, but he said, "It depends on the girl, but I want only you".
Now I don't feel much better after he says that, because I cant help but think that in comparison with a girl, Im not good enough for him. And I don't know what to do. He's my first boyfriend, and it hurts knowing this...
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About the Author
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- From: ImHereUrThere@xanga
- About Me: Im lookin for someone ta chat with. Im bi. If yuo live in Maryland or D.C. then give me an extra shout.
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Comments (40)
Try some actual communication. If you can talk about this with people you don't know, surely you should be able to discuss it with someone you're in a romantic relationship with.
Just because he's bisexual that doesn't make him a whore.
You're just being insecure.
If he says he wants you, then he wants you. You're just being a little insecure.
If he hasn't given you any reason to suspect him, then don't worry about it. There will ALWAYS be someone your mate is more attracted to. For instance, my boyfriend is definitely an ass man, and while my ass isn't bad, it's certainly not as nice as some others. You're just going to have to deal with that: the fact that he's with you despite usually going for girls means that there is something super special and sexy about you.
Since your bi and more into guys...should your boifriend be worried if u see a more attractive guy? Same difference right? If he leaves u for someone else its not because of their gender...its because u are not fulfilling him. If your boifriend says he only wants u then there is no need to worry. As long as yall are BOTH doin whats required to keep each other happy and satisfied, the relationship should be great.
Talk to him! Tell him specfically that you don’t want him seeing other girls. If you kept it in, how will he know how you feel or that you feel hurt right now.
Have a little faith in him.
Yeah, you are being insecure and assuming. He's bi, but since when does that mean he's unfaithful? Just have some faith.
@misswonderj@xanga - Yup, pretty much have to agree here. I like black/dark brown hair over blondes, and both over redheads. But that's just one feature. Gender may be a BIG feature, but it's still limited in scope. You are more than your gender, and blonds are more than just their hair color (and possibly IQ *cough* comon, I couldn't resist :D).
Wow. Interesting.
regardless of sexual orientation, you shouldn't be dating someone you can't trust. you need to decide if the problem is that he's a whore who's likely to cheat on you or if you're just insecure. if he's with you because he wants to be with you, it shouldn't matter who hits on him or how attractive they are. if you're honestly worried about him being faithful you might want to start looking elsewhere....
:)
my bf iz bi with womyn being hiz 2nd choyse im 100% homo we dont put holdz on each uther i fuk uther guyz he duz wutever it iz guyz do with womyn gawd i shudder to thynk of it but hey @least he duznt make me do it hahahahahaha enyway soundz to me lye you needa stay beautiful & slutty or try better communikayshun skillz & uze em oftin
Yeah, I'm going to agree with a bunch of people up there. You're being insecure and assuming that bi guys are whores (which is odd, considering you're bi?) A person is (or should be) with somebody, not because of their gender, or their body, or anything sexual, but because of who the person is.
@follow_home@xanga - I agree!
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - HAHA XD
I can't help it but wonder if he's going to sex some girls up if she allows him to from reading what he said to you:
"It depends on the girl, but I want only you."
Is he telling you that he would sex up some girl if she allow him to but he only wants to be in a committed relationship with you?
You should talk to him, clarify those unanswered questions and thoughts, and try to put a boundary in between what both of you can or cannot do outside of the relationship.
What makes you think that you're inadequate comparing to a girl?
@pansybradshaw@xanga - your spelling of words makes my IQ drop.
anyway. gotta agree with a lot of people up there. listen to them. they got ittt. =]
Everyone else said it, you're being insecure.
I can understand why you would feel insecure or inadquate, but the thing you have to remember is that he IS choosing YOU.
Just because he hapens to prefer girls more doesn't mean he'll leave you for the first attractive girl hitting on him.
If he's decent, he wouldn't do that.
Even though he has preferences, it doesn't mean he can't be faithful. Preferences are JUST "preferences", but they don't determine everything, or rule a relationship.
Women are scared of this all the time..that their man will find someone much better than them in physical beauty, in wit, in everything...
but you are forgetting that he's with you for a reason. Learn to trust him a little, and if you can't then I really can't help you there. good luck.
this really doesn't have anything to do with being bi. my boyfriend is 100% straight and i'm sure there are some girls out there that are more attractive then me that will hit on him, but i expect him to remain faithful. it's really an insecurity issue... if he hasn't done anything sketchy, then you just need to trust him :3
OK, this may get controversial but...
I'm a bi girl in a similar situation, but it's different for us and for you. I'm thinking that a guy-guy relationship, if you wait a while and communicate all your intentions, can withstand threesomes with girls IF you guys are on the same page, and I'd suggest waiting a while.
Why do I say it's different for us? I think that guys can better separate sex and emotion, and if with you guys it's lovemaking and an emotional relationship and if y'all fucked girls together it's just sharing a hot toy, then you can handle frequent 3somes. But only if there's an emotional bond between u guys. With girls... and def with my g/f, I am nervous that the link between emotion and sex are generally WAYYY to tightly bonded and there might be some confusion that muddies the relationship.
But is it ok to do this to "hot toy"? Well, I do know many girls around here who would loooove to sex up two guys at once. And go about their happy single lives. BUT STAY OPEN AND HONEST WITH EVERYBODY. Or I'll haunt you.
I understand why you are concerned.
If he is "bi but more into girls", then how is he going to get his "girl fix" by being exclusively with a guy, who is second priority to girls.
I'm gay and my preference is that I wouldn't want to date a bi guy b/c I'm insecure with the "what-ifs" on the opposite sex.
It depends on how secure are you with your man.
You're being insecure and that's pretty much it. You act like he hasn't actually gave you a sign that he'd be willing to cheat on you, so you don't have anything to worry about. If he's not willing to cheat on you with a guy, he won't be willing to cheat on you with a girl; if he cares for you it won't matter who flirts with him because he loves YOU. Just because he's more likely to cheat with a girl than a guy if he were to be that type doesn't mean that he's going to do it when he's NOT that type. I hope you get what I'm saying.