Friday, 20 February 2009
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How Text Messaging Ruins Relationships
The title is pretty self-explanatory, therefore eliminating the need for an introduction, so I'll just dive right in!1) No face time
I don't know about you guys, but I text with people I hardly ever talk to in "real life" as I'll call it. When I say "real life" I am including on the phone. Why? Because then you can hear expressions, tones, laughs, tears. It's just more personal, making it possible to actually carry on a relationship with someone. Clacking away on an impossibly small keypad as your main means of communication with your SO? Yeah, not exactly a bonding experience.2) I can't hear you!
Sarcasm, anger, sadness, sincerity, etc. are all impossible to distinguish within a text. This has spawned many a confusing conversation, if not an argument, between me and my BF. He thought I was mad; I was being sarcastic. I thought he was kidding; turns out he was serious. You get the idea.3) Tick tock, tick tock
Again, I don't know about you guys, but I get so frustrated waiting for texts. I sent it to you 10 minutes ago and you still have not replied! I have been waiting! Are you ignoring me? Are you busy? If you were going to be busy, why didn't you tell me instead of making me sit here for 15 minutes waiting for you to answer my question!? By the time your SO does finally respond to your text, you're in an exceedingly foul mood from having to wait so long, which will likely put the conversation into a downward spiral.4) 160 characters
There is no possible way most messages can be summarized in the small number of words SMS messages allow, therefore forcing you to send multiple texts, a frustrating endeavor in itself. Add in the fact that your SO may interrupt your flow of messages, ask a question, or some other nuisance that requires you to type yet another messages to explain your previous ones. You are gonna get carpal tunnel and all because of that dimwitted little... Well, you get my point.5) What?
There is absolutely nothing more frustrating to me than having there be so much time between text messages that, when you respond, I have absolutely no idea what your response means because I cannot remember what I sent. Either I will have to flip through my "Sent" folder to find it or I will have to ask you and then you will get frustrated, causing me to get frustrated and then YELLING ENSUES! Or rather, CAPSLOCK ENSUES!6) Tech-Not-So-Savvy
Too many tales have been told about people finding things on their SOs' phones that they consider incriminating. Whatever you find, you are likely to assume the worst and blow it out of proportion before actually talking to your SO. If there was no texting, none of this would have happened and you could have gone back to good ol' computer-snooping.7) "we need 2 tlk"
While I have never experienced this (and, god willing, never will), I know too many people that have received the infamous text message breakup. This is so cold, so low, that it should be perfectly legal for you to go over and key their car, shave their dog, whatever! At least call, seriously!You guys have any text messaging opinions or stories?
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Comments (100)
I use text with my bf because he's very busy and cant talk but when hes not busy he always calls me or sneaks over to see me. lol
My boyfriend and I broke up over texts. I called him first, but he was at his ex-girlfriends house the day after telling me he still liked her. I was pissed. And I was too chicken to tell him over the phone. So I texted him. But at least I called first, right?
Texting is also how we got in our first fight over his ex-girlfriend, and how he told me he still liked her.
Texting him is not a good idea.
I only text people who can't speak: at work, at the library, at a movie, etc. Or to send some quick info like someone's phone number or an address they need. I send around 50 text messages a month, maybe. I only have 200 text plan. I chat on AIM if I want to chat, and I talk to T on the phone. If we had to text it'd go from a matter of hours on the phone to tens of thousands of text messages. No thanks.
I send about 8,000+ texts a month, not kidding. I have unlimited :D
I text everyone. Seriously. haha xD
i uze txt more than eny other form of kommunikayshun & ive gottan xcellint unlimitid txting contrakt with verizon yeeehaw i luv txting & no i hav never brokin up with sumone via txt & if my bf did that to me i wud cut hiz ballz off
I talk to everyone but my boyfriend through text. He doesn't like it and I surely don't like it. But other than that I don't think texting isn't all that bad. As long as it's not the only way you communicate with people. There has to be that face time!
Text, in general, like even instant messaging and stuff, can be good in certain cases. The person I like right now, well, we've got pretty different schedules, but a lot of the relationship we have was because we were able to talk to each other a lot on MSN.
Because of that, we're now starting to meet more and more in, well, 'real life'. So it can help.
But everything you said above is totally true. Emotion is so hard to detect in words, and that word limit is hard to follow! Knowing someone over txt and in real life can be different too; some people just feel more comfortable with words and will seem different in real life. That can be another problem too.
Awesome post!
:)
I don't have a cell phone, so texting isn't an issue for me.
I think u take up some VERY good points, and I've experienced them myself(well, except for the break-up-part. But it's fun to write "we need to talk" and in the next message"for what to have for dinner" :P
I think I will link this to my bf. We just had one of those "is this a fight or not" text-messaging things XD And he often just calls when he's gotten mad, it's SO not fun to pick up the phone then!
me and my finace text all day. but i know him inside and out and can tell even through his text if he's upset or mad.
Texting takes a lot of work. If it's quick then I don't mind but if someone is trying to conversate over text then I'll just call them back.Â
I refuse to text to carry on a full conversation - with anyone - unless one of us is in a position where we can't call. Just to say hi, or a quick note I think it's fine. I think it's actually a good thing to text if you don't get to talk that much, it's a good way to keep in touch, when nothing else is possible.
I love text messaging. My SO and I have been avid txtrs for years and years. Now that he's a thousand miles away, it's really convenient for us to carry on conversations via text. Phonecalls still occur, but because we are usually with other people, it's easier to text message rather than talk on the phone all the time.
I can see how you you have problems with all of the stuff listed above, but being in an LDR can really make you crave communication. Text messaging means that I can talk to him AND work out/practice music/go to dinner/do laundry rather than camp out on my computer.
@xoxlove31804@xanga - This is so true! I'm the same way with my SO. I know his mannerisms so well that they translate immediately to text.
me and my bf only text and msn.. we aren't much for talking on the phone and in person i just laugh at him 90% of the time so not that much talking..
i think if both are fine with texting then its ok.. but if 1 side is not then there will always be some kind of argument...
i personally run out of things to say on the phone so i just don't like to talk on the phone in general.. even with friends...
some friends i can have silence and its fine..
haha so true.. text messaging shouldn't be used for mainstream communication. Â who thought of unlimited text messaging anyway :(
160 is generous. My phone gives me 140.
My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We talk on the phone every night but I think little texts throughout the day are nice to let the other person know they're being thought about.
One of my guys initiated our ridiculously drawn out end to dating over text messages. But then again, the whole thing was practically over texting when he was even being cute and I didn't much care.
I barely text anyone. Maybe once in a long while.
It's too "time consuming" to text. I rather just call and ask them the ?s that I want.
Texting is convenient, especially when you don't want to have someone's phone ring in the middle of class, a meeting, a wedding reception, etc...Haha. But it shouldn't replace meeting someone and looking him/her in the eye, or talking on the phone. It's less heartfelt, but it is, again, convenient. Just anti-social ;D. Hahaha, kidding.
ha, I don't text
25000 sent/received a month. All to/from my girlfriend. Beat that.
mmms. i text a lot. last yr, from around this time. i used to text this person i was very close with. i;m pretty close with him now, i think... it;s just that i haven;t talked to him in a while with him having a new job and all. and like... i got preoccupied with my school work.
anyways, i loved it when i used to text him. we would continue those conversations til early morning, like 3am. calling would wake up the other ppl in the house. and like. i don;t know. the silence of texting. i like it.
i sometimes chicken out on some serious things i want to say when i;m talking to someone on the phone, so i;d just resort to texting. well they aren;t that serious things like a relationship breakup. but things like "ah. i miss you." sort of thing. ;p do i make sense? x'D srys if i dont.
this is exactly how i feel haha
i couldn't have said it all better myself !!
love it =]