Thursday, 19 February 2009
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Are Married Men More Attractive?
I got married back in December. I was the writer of this post. I know that a lot of you advised against marriage, and while I appreciate the advice, I didn't listen. I am very happy with the decision we made, and I love our new life together. Even though we are still poor college students, we are doing very well and are looking forward to our future together.Come Monday, we'll have been married for two months. In these past two months, I have noticed a sharp rise in the amount of attention my husband has been getting from members of the opposite sex. While it didn't bother me at first, it's becoming increasingly annoying to hear of the many girls who have been flirting with him on a daily basis. My husband is a very attractive man, so it's no surprise that women notice him, but he was not getting this much attention before our vows. Girls flock to him everywhere he goes - it's ridiculous. I am secure in our relationship, and while I am not naive enough to say he "isn't capable" of cheating on me, I am confident that he will remain faithful...otherwise I wouldn't have married him. The problem is that he gets comments such as "I wish I would have met you first" or "I'm so sad you are taken". One girl, though joking, even went so far as to say "You are so amazing! Call me if you ever need a mistress." While I have been fortunate enough to have not heard any of these remarks firsthand (actually, the girls are fortunate), it still bugs me that females would make such comments to an unavailable man.
I, however, must have some sign on my ass that states "Stay Away!" because guys haven't been hitting on me as much as they were before we got married. There are a couple guys who have blatantly and disrespectfully stared at me when my husband and I were together, but no one was bold enough to make comments like females have been making to my husband. I'm not saying that I'm upset I'm not getting attention; I rather like being left alone. I'm just wondering where the balance is.
Do you think that married men are more attractive than single men? Why do you think that is? What about married women?
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Comments (50)
I find married men more attractive in an objective sense, because that's another facet of their personality. I also find men who are fathers more attractive. I'm not the type to hit on them, though. I respect what they have.
it's a fetish, bro (sis in the politically correct sense)
people always want what they cannot have.
I think women go for the married type for a couple of reasons, one, because they show they have enough maturity to be in a committed relationship; what all women want in a man. and two, because it's a challenge that's even more difficult than a boyfriend to convince he can "do better" than his current choice.
I personally agree the women are lucky not to say any of the above comments in your presence. They would be extremely blessed in my case. I don't tolerate it now, and we're not even married!
Maybe the balance goes in, maybe if your new husband is bragging about it at dinner or wherever, maybe he just not say anything and stop paying attention to the comments? Just let him know the bragging is a bit of problem with you/
On the contrary, married women are perceived as being less rather than more attractive.
He is probably getting more attention because he's not looking for attention, thus becoming the "challenge" for many women. Men on the other hand (in my opinion) don't necessarily go for women that seem uninterested. They prefer the flirty girls that smile and look for attention. Instead of stressing yourself out over this, you should enjoy your marriage and bond with your husband. It should make you proud that so many women want him. In the end, you are the one with him and that sense of confidence will attract him more to you. Good luck!
When my husband and I was dating, girls complimented and chased him. Every since we got married, all of that stopped. But now it's my turn to get all the compliments from random guys. Weird. And I'm not even doing anything to attract them.
When I was single, I never went for "married" men. Much less, compliment them. I knew they were in a committed relationship and I respected that. It's the "hands off" policy.
My hubs gets this constantly, and has always gotten it. I think a big chunk of it is the whole, "oh he's the kind that *marries* a girl?"
Congrats on your marriage. I got married young too (22) and am thrilled to say we're still going strong.
Wow, those girls are out of line.
Hm, I think somehow married men seem to be more attractive, though I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because a married man tends to appear more mature than one who is single, because I think when some of us see a bachelor we think of a rowdy guy flirting with girls and drinking all the time...just to exaggerate a bit.
I know my dad is somewhat popular with his female co-workers at work, as well as his female customers. He even told me this one time that this 20-something year old woman said jokingly, "Why couldn't I have met you earlier??" to which he replied, "Because any earlier and I could have been changing your diapers!" He thought it was funny, but it's a little bit weird for me to hear from my dad. My mom doesn't really like it, needless to say.
Its the concept of the forbidden fruit, which is more pronounced in females than in males for some reason. Especially since hes recently unavailable, its not surprising that he has a greater appeal to females than before. I would expect that the newfound increased attention while diminish with time.
It doesnt help that him being married, is proof, to the swarming females anyway, that he is a catch. No doubt he's loving the attention though. Its not his fault, guys love being sought after. He wont respond positively to them to lead them on, but he'll definitely bask in the attention.
I'm not sure about the increased/decreased attraction of married women though. I'll leave that one for someone better equipped, lol
Married men have a different feel...more mature, I guess? They're also a lot more comfortable in their skin and lifestyle and will show more sensitivity towards women. It's extremely endearing to women. All those traits appeal to me, but something about hearing he's married, just sets an OFF button for me...and after that, I don't even want to see him anymore. lol Even when my girlfriends say that like a certain guy, and I was IN LOVE with him, he'll suddenly turn UNinteresting to me. Strange, but I know it'll save me from misunderstandings later on. Hopefully. =]
When females are taken, guys chase.
When we're single, it's like where the fuck are you?
When guys are hot, they have all females on him.
But when he has a girl, she would probably leave him because of the girls chasing him.
Hmmmmmmm. but if he's married does it make him more attractive? Maybe to females because they wish they were married.
I don't think people are more attractive because they're married.
It definitely seems that people are attracted more to what they "can't" have. Of course it's a challenge for women to try to get a married man, and some women are brave enough to try.
My dad (and mom confirmed it) said the same used to happen to him. For 6 months after he got married, he'd get friends and acquaintances come up to him telling him that they liked him or wish he had married them or just simply came and hit on him.
I guess they know, since the guy married, that he was able to commit and settle down, so they want a piece of that and use weird methods to hint at that.
And that girl who said to your husband 'If you ever need a mistress...'.
Yeah. She's a bitch. Go eff her up. Or not, you know, you can be calm too, just, I would. >__>
I think you guys have come into contact with alot of disrespectful women. Are you learning all of this info from your husband? If you're not there, maybe you're husband's actions or remarks are what's bringing on these comments. Its just a thought. I personally do not find married men attractive because when I find out they are married I want nothing to do with them, I respect the bond of marriage.
Call if you need a mistress?! At least you can rest easy knowing that skanks like that are unlikely to nab a guy like your husband, who obviously has some sense in him to stay away from women like that.
Eugh. That mistress comment was low. D:
I think it's because of the whole "you want what you can't have" feature. Married men aren't likely to be caught within their traps, etc.
Your husband sounds like a nice guy, though. Not going to be taken in by them. :D
yea I'd f*cking kill those girls.
luckily, my guy has never been hit on. no, I'm not delusional. he's just honestly not conventionally attractive and doesn't go out at all, other than with me(his buddies are all gamers who live 45min away).Guys don't hit on married women in front of their husbands (usually) because they don't want to get in fistfights or worse, no matter how bad they want to get laid. If you let on a vibe that you might fool around you'd get plenty of solicitations on the sly, I'm pretty certain.
As for your husband's situation, it's not clear how you are finding out about these come-ons. Are they doing this in front of you or is your husband telling you these stories? Aggressively stake out your territory when brazen women approach – they are counting on your passivity and won't be ready for it. If your man is torturing you with these stories I suggest you talk to him about it over and over and over until you and he both get a clear picture of what is really happening.
You know when you were a kid and you saw someone eating cookies, and you don't have any cookies, and suddenly the cookies just started to look so darn delicious?? Yeah, that's the same mentality with girls drooling after married men.
Although, to me married men are more like cookies with bite marks on them already, what'd want to eat that?
I don't understand girls who like married men, because I personally don't. Married men are off-limits! I used to think even guys who have girlfriends are off-limits, what's more married men. Me thinks those girls should get their hands off your husband.
Maybe married men = already taken = adventure of an affair?
Or married men = taken = they were good enough to be taken = they should be good enough for them?
I had a minor crush on a married man before. HAHA. He was gorgeous! Not to mention amazing, awesome, nice, briliant, well-off...HAHA.
married men make me gag
women hit on my husband all the time, he was hit on before and is getting hit on just a little more when the ring is on his finger/ now that we are married. now he is good looking in general so I dunno if it technically because he is married or if it is just because he is handsome .