Tuesday, 17 February 2009
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We Want Prenup
I have always been okay with prenups in the sense that it keeps your assets (before and after you marry) yours. Theoretically, the only thing that you have to do is split up your own matrimonial assets.
Would you do that? I definitely would; in fact, someone I dated refused to sign a prenup, which also meant no marriage with this dude even though we'd been together for four years.What would you do if you had to sign a pre nup? Would this really safeguard all of women or men's interests?
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- From: missleshya
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Comments (47)
I wouldn't mind signing one or not, either way... I'm not some rich millionaire lol, so even if a divorce were to occur between me and my potential hubby, I'd think that things would be shared as equally as they were when we'd both come in to the marriage...
i would sign a pre-nup...but it would have to have certain conditions in it such as a cheating clause (i.e., if my partner is unfaithful more than once, i get x,y, and z and vice versa for my partner, it's only fair)
i think it's completely appropriate in this day and age. especially with a 50% divorce rate.
but just because i would have a pre-nup doesn't mean like i wouldn't fight like hell for my marriage because i don't particularly like the idea of divorce, especially if kids are involved.
If I was rich or vice versa, I wouldn't mind having a prenup. I mean, just look at all these celebrities and their divorce aftermath involving one of the partners taking half of the other partner's millions. It's crazy!
But in my case, I had nothing. My husband had nothing. So no prenup was required for us. All the things that we have now, we both worked for it. If there ever comes a day with the D word, we'll split half half.
I would sign it, not that I have anything to lose and I want my future hubby to know that I'm not interested in gaining anything from him financially if we were to split up. (But I dont plan on splitting up w/ him anyways)
I think pre-nups are a sad sign of the times. Despite hearing arguments against it, both my fiancee and I believe that having a pre-nup is almost a guarantee that divorce is an option. If that's the case, then marriage shouldn't be on the agenda.
Too many people in today's society have watered down and reduced the concept of marriage so that the vows given on the wedding day are not fully, truly meant or believed in.
They don't really believe in "death do us part" or "as long as we both shall live", and that's wrong. Marraige is a life-long commitment, and in this society many people do not understand or really consider the meaning behind the words "life-long commitment". They'd rather treat relationships as they do everything else in their life: something temporary to fill a need right here and now, but once fulfilled it is something that can be discarded while they move on to the next newest and brightest thing.
Pre-nups are a means to making any break easier and cleaner and shouldn't be needed if two people are equally serious about marriage and the vows it represents. That's why neither Liz nor myself would ask for, or sign, a pre-nup. Marriage is worth far more than anything in a pre-nup agreement.
I view it like so:
Yes. In this day and age, it is seen as an excellent decision, to have a solid prenup. It can sort out alot before you even hit the alter, and provide backup if things go wrong. However:
I was raised to understand that when you enter a marriage, it's an agreement. See it as an investment--time, love, money and yourself. Every investment has to have some risk, otherwise it won't have value.
And if you feel that you need a prenup...should you be marrying someone? Basically it says to me, "I know I'm going to probably divorce this person, so I better lay down the law now to save me time."
If I was sure and certain about a marriage, then I don't think I'd feel the need for a prenup--after all, I'm planning to spend the rest of my life with them.
But that's just my opinion.
@LadyPosh214@xanga - @jeezshoua@xanga - @SerenaDante@xanga - I dont know. I mean, with so many people marrying thinking
"I can always get a divorce if this gets difficult"a pre-nup is almost
a requirement for them. Personally I'm not a pre-nup fan and like in
the back of my mind a pre-nup is like an escape rope. Its like you're
admitting that this marriage prolly wont work. I mean you shouldnt get
married unless you've sorted out evrything between you and your
partner. The problem is too many people run into marriage adn to make
things worse, they always go into it with the possibility of divorce in
mind.
Thats what I think anyway
@cmdr_keen@xanga - yeah exactly
@thepathofpins@xanga - yeah u and cmdr_keen say it better than me
I have my own business, some investments and properties and just about enough to pay half for our first home......but I still don't like the idea of a prenup. I hate the idea of starting off my marriage by planning the divorce. Besides that.......I know it sounds crazy and very old fashioned but I don't believe in divorce as an option to marriage problems. When I marry it will be forever I will take the time to get to know the man well before I marry and on the day I marry I want everything we have to be ours. I think the easier you make it to divorce the more likely you are to end up with one...... I do not expect my husband to be perfect and I do not expect marriage to always be easy but I do expect us to both work hard to make our marriage last for a lifetime........~Echo
I want a prenup, and so does my SO!
woohoo!
(although I refuse to get married until I'm at least 26)
I would sign it for my own financial security. It's like having insurance - I don't get insurance because I expect my house will burn down. BUT in case it ever, ever happens...I have insurance.
So, yeah, I'm a romantic - I believe in marriage being forever. On the off chance that it isn't though...why not sign a pre-nup? It'll save you tons of heartache later if it doesn't work out.
I think a prenup is just setting yourself up for failure. Divorce, in my opinion, shouldn't be an option unless everything else has been exhausted and then only in the event of unfaithfulness. That's the only "pre-marriage" agreement between my hubby and I.
I'm convinced it's not something I have to worry about.
Yes, I would sign a prenup. It's a safety net in case there IS a divorce... yes, its possible! What you go in with into the marriage will hopefully still belong to you. Look at Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, they (and America) thought there love would last forever and in the end Jessica Simpson lost a good chunk of her earnings.
Everyone thinks love will conquer all, if I sound like a bitter biatch then so be it, but the truth is that you should take care of yourself first.
@Nicola_Six@xanga - I completely agree with your analogy! Couldn't have put it better myself :)
I probably wouldn't sign one--divorce is not an option in my head, but signing one of these makes it one. My SO agrees with me on that completely.
Absolutely not, unless he was rich. Then, I would understand, but would need a clause in there that wouldn't let him just up and cheat, then walk away with everything (similar to what another commenter said).
I wonder when prenups started getting popular, because I bet my grandparents never considered such a thing. When you get married, hopefully it's for life. What a horrible way to start a marriage, already anticipating a divorce, which is what a prenup does.
@yamman1989@xanga - With or without a prenup in my marriage, I would fight for it and throw my best out there to save the marriage in difficult times.
If I was rich and was to get married, I wouldn't mind getting a prenup. It's not so much of having a divorce as in option or getting out when things get difficult but it's more for my own security if things don't work out the way you plan them to.
Most people, particularly the young, that are getting married, a pre-nup isn't necessary and is basically a red-flag. It's like saying, "Hey, let's get married, but I'm not convinced we'll survive and just in case, I'd like to keep my bags packed by the door." Two lives aren't really merging into one and it doesn't seem like the relationship is very solid.
However, if either (or both) person is well-off, has a business, or is a parent, then I think pre-nups are good. This is especially true if the person with children has already been married, since the success rate of marriages is cut in half with each subsequent marriage. It would be important for the parent to maintain their assets in the event of a divorce, for the protection of the child. Especially if there are investments, money for education, and other things saved up before the parent gets remarried.
Unless you're in any of these situations, it seems silly for someone (primarily 20-somethings) to get a pre-nup. What are you really protecting, considering the average person (in the US) has not been out of college for a very long time nor have they made a solid place for themselves in the workforce and probably have debt to pay off from loans.
I think it is a good idea. Like someone else said, there is a 50% divorce rate. It's not like going into marriage with a "going-to-divorce-him" mentality. It's being smart and making sure that should you divorce, for whatever unpredictable reason, you know that your assets are safe. I definitely would sign one and/or get one. You just never one. Plus, you can insure that if your SO ever cheated or something, you would get a share of his assets. May prevent him from straying?
I thought about it and I think I would sign a prenup.
I've heard of a married couple who stayed married only because neither one of them wanted to give up their house. A prenup could have solved their problem.
So I'd sign a prenup as only a precaution.
Marriages don't exactly have the best track record today, even though everyone thinks theirs will last forever. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a prenup if it prevents a big hassle down the road.
I always thought a prenup was a hint that at least one person in that relationship isn't 100% confident that they'll stay together forever. But on the other hand, to me a marriage is more about sharing love and all that good stuff, not necessarily sharing assets. I'm somewhat divided about it.
I wouldn't.Â
my uncle is in the process of getting cheated out of his house that he bought and paid for before he got married by his many-times unfaithful wife...
i am so getting a pre-nup.
i wouldn't sign one because as a lot of people has already said, then you are considering a divorce an option which to me, it wouldn't be one. when i get married, i want it to last forever no matter what.