Monday, 16 February 2009
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Which Romantic Situation Hurts More?
I wouldn't prefer either, obviously, but I was just thinking...what do you guys think hurts more: Having a significant other break up with you or having a significant other pass away in the middle of your relationship.
I didn't say what's worse because obviously the second option is worse (for the less vengeful of us), but I ask what hurts more because I'm not sure. On one hand, you have to deal with the person you love revealing that he or she doesn't want to be with you, but on the other, the person you love passes away.
What hurts more?
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About the Author
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- From: isayhialot222@xanga
- Name: Michael
- About Me: Hi. I'm Michael, and I like to mix philosophical and religious discussion with nonsensical banter. :D :] I believe in God and I respect those who don't as long as they respect me. I graduated 5/2/09 as a senior from Bellarmine College Prep and I will be attending UCSB in the fall as a psych major C/O '13.
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Comments (53)
i'd rather them break up with me.
I'd rather be broken up with.
Being broken up with. Because you could still be with them but you cant based on terms they out there. When a love one dies its part of life and its natural occuring- their not doing it on purpose.
That's a tough one. I'd say having them break up with you would FEEL worse, because after death you can believe they're in a better place, there will be acceptance, and for all you know they loved you until they died. While once they break up with you, they've expressed the don't love you, and they get to go out and live their lives and you get to be heart broken, though you probably will get over that. It can make you feel like you aren't good enough...
yeah, i'd say second one.
that's a tough one. of course having someone pass away would hurt more, only because that person will no longer physically exist in your life.
ive had my SO break up with me... that hurt like hell too. but im still friends with some of my exes and the pain is no longer there.
so i think it hurts more if your SO passes away during the relationship...
I think that the situations can't be truly compared if you really loved the person that much. Like if my girlfriend chose to break up with me, I think I'd do everything to take my mind off of it (Go to the track, spar against friends, work out, hit a punching bag until my fists bleed uncomfortably, etc). And even then, I don't think I'd be able to keep myself from wanting to end it all... If she dies instead, I think my entire world would just turn to black and white. I wouldn't see anything worth living for in this world, and would just continue living as a mindless zombie. If I had the extra money, I'd probably spend it on whatever I felt like just for the heck of it. I probably wouldn't even look for a new girl. I'd curse the world for not taking me with her, but I'd live because I'd know that she wouldn't want me to die as well... So literally speaking, I don't know which would be worse...
second one would definitely hurt more.
actually, that happened to my dad like, back in the eighties. i've always wondered if i wouldn't've been born if she'd stayed alive...
I think the second one would hurt MUCH more.
My boyfriend just broke up with me a few days ago. But I still feel like I'm sexy enough to attract him again, even if it takes a few years. I still feel like I have a fighting chance, and I will fight.
To have the love of my life just taken away from me, like that? I don't think I could ever regain the strength to fight.
Having someone I love die would be harder for me.... even if he did not love me back it would still be harder for me to lose him to death.........~Echo
The second one definitely hurts more. When you love someone, just the thought that they exist in this world can lighten your day.
Wow, this is a total no contest. I can't believe anyone would think breaking up hurts more than your significant other dying during your relationship...
When someone dies, you just don't know. There could have been a future there. They had a life ahead of them, possibly with you, and you'll never know when that person is unexpectedly torn from you... and you not only lose that romantic relationship, but you lose that person from your life completely. You'll never get to see their smile again, or hear their laugh, even from far away...
There's always a potential second chance in a break-up. You never get a second chance when someone dies. You never get to say you're sorry or that you love them ever again..
*RIP Digi.*
At first, I thought it would be better to have them break up; but then I gave it more thought after reading @TheAsianCleric@xanga.
I guess they would hurt pretty much equally bad, though in different ways - as long as the love you had was as deep as marriage bonds can be.
It would certainly matter how long we are connected with our beloveds, too.
I had a marriage fail after 27 years, and it took some time to "get over". I had a special person die after an intense year together, and it seemed to hurt the same - but it took me less time to recover from. Could the lessened recovery time have been because of the first experience? Possible. I also think that the rejection issues from the first weren't involved in the second event.
@AllMyNamesAreTaken@xanga - if you know they left you for another person, it can be really painful to see that they will laugh and play even if you are deeply wounded. So, the agony is still as real for that break up as it is for the death. In both situations, the loss is irretrievable and unchanging.
Geez really? If the person I was dating died that would be god awful! That was an easy choice.
death is final, for most. i would think it would hurt more...no choice, no thing that could be done, no chance of winning them back.
i knew a girl who had had some pretty rough relationships, and then she met this guy and it was perfect. they were going to be married and everything. and one night he was killed by a drunk driver.
Having your SO die...that would be horrible...
your SO passing away. definitely. that's probably something that you will never get over. at least a breakup you can move on from. at least you could have your closure with them.
I would much rather be left.
I don't care if my special someone didn't love me/want me. It might hurt, but I'd live with it. As long as I knew that the person I loved was still alive and well, I'd be fine.
But if that person was to die, it would all end there. There would be no hope that he/she would ever be happy again or anything. I don't think I could stand that.
death hurts more... because of everything you thought you might have but didn't.
at least if they break up with you and you still love them, you know they have a shot at happiness.
easy. it'd be harder for him to die. why?
1. it's completely unexpected. a break up is unexpected too... but it only affects you and him. death affects everyone who loved him, and you have to see others, including yourself, in pain
2. you never get to see them again. you never get to say a proper goodbye. you never get to tell them how you felt.
3. i wouldn't be able to not imagine our future together. "what if we were supposed to get married? what would our babies look like? how many would we have? what would our house look like?" Where if it were a break up, it's easier to accept that it's over because you KNOW he doesn't want anything anymore.
I could go on and on, but definitily losing an SO would be way worse
Hmmm....Interesting question. A few years ago my fiance passed away, and I really can't imagine anything hurting more than that did. I mean, at least I knew he loved me 'til the end. I know he didn't leave me because he met someone new, or stopped loving me. But at the same time, I have had an easier time moving on after a break up than I did after Zack's death. After a break up, it really hurts, but I could say he just wasn’t right for me, or he was no good anyway, or possibly have hope of getting back together again. If nothing else I knew that we both had a shot at being happy with other people. But after Zack, I felt so hopeless. I just didn’t know where to go with the pain. I was deeply in love with him, and I intended to spend the rest of my life with him. That was suddenly all taken away.
I am not trying to downplay the pain of a breakup. And in someways I think it would have hurt worse if Zack had broken up with me. But honestly, based on my experiences, I think death of a loved one is worse than a breakup.
Alisha
I wish I never read that.
I wont choose because I don't want to dwell on such negative thoughts!
vote 2nd all the way
I'd rather be broken up with than have the person die. The pain of a break up can be overcome...the pain of death is so much worse.Â
Definitely the latter.