Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life's "Love" section this week:
Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML
Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FMLToday, I told the man I'm sleeping with I thought my sister was prettier than me. His response: "not significantly." FMLToday, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FMLToday, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML
Have you had any FML moments this week? What were they?
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Comments (26)
I've had far too many, but I don't think any of mine would equal these. And luckily, none of mine have to do with my relationship, so that's good, but here's one from yesterday.
As I opened my eyes, the blaring of my alarm slowly faded in and I realized it was 1:30PM, which would be okay, had I not had a test scheduled for 9:30 that morning. FML...
"Today I went to open a door for an older woman and ended up hitting her with it on accident and then she scolded me." FML
This actually happened on Wednesday, but...
haha i've had too many.
hahaha this is too funny
the ones listed are so sad, it's funny
I looooove FML. =DD
Ah, so wonderful.
I have one from my boyfriend from last Saturday:
Today, my girlfriend touched the head of my penis for the first time with her finger before yelping and and recoiling into the corner of the room. We've been dating for three years. FML
LOL. Too funny.
I can't think up of any right now.
"Today, when my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML "
lmao, but poor girl :(
<333 NEXT YOUTUBE.
Today I walked into my boyfriends room to find a pair of hot red stilettos sprawled across the foot of his bed. They weren't mine. - FML
My ex won't stop calling and texting me. It's usually, "Why would I date an ugly lying whore like you?" FML
In front of my boyfriend of three years, I told my friend that his birthday was on January 13th. It's on January 30th. fml. (that's old. but i got shit for it for EVER).
I started on an English paper at around 1AM and did it all the way until 4AM. Then I decided to take a nap and I missed the class that the paper was due for. My class started at 7:15 and I ended up waking up at 10AM. FML.
I LOVE that site, I started looking at it about a week ago.
LMAO!
Love this site! :] My day was not as bad as these people's...thank goodness.
I was in the car with a crush of mine when we passed a bad accident scene. I wanted to say something but hadn't quite decided on which of the 2 things I wanted to say, so I mixed them together. I ended up saying "I hope nobody's okay" (combination of "I hope everyone's okay" and "I hope nobody's hurt") He gave me a weird look and said "damn, cold much?"I think all hope is lost. FML.
this site's amazing. lol although, i view them as very sad and not funny at times.. O: i don't like laughing at other people's misfortune, unless they feel it's funny to themselves.
Wow, that last one...LOL.
ROFL
I already wrote checks in anticpation of my tax refund hitting the bank yesterday like the IRS said it would, and it didn't.
Last night my boyfriend blew me off so he could go get drunk with his buddies. FML
@reminisce - I agree. A lot of them are very sad.
lmfao!
My FML moments are never as bad as those... yet. hahaha
soo funny. thanks for this site. i'm bookmarking it now. haha!