While reading
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, I read a section that I totally bookmarked and wanted to share with all of you.
(While trying to learn the art of meditation, the main "character," Liz, finds that she cannot get her ex-boyfriend out of her head. The following conversation is held between her and her friend Richard.)
"'I'm not laughing.' I was actually crying. 'And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believe David was my soul mate.'
'He probably was, [Richard said]. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a true soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it.'
"Do you think this is an accurate depiction of what a soul mate is? What do you think a soul mate is? Have you found yours?
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Comments (55)
Oddly enough I decided to check xanga while putting down a reading from Plato's Symposium for my next class. I just this second read that a long time ago there was a different breed of human called "adrodgyne" that could encompass both male and female, female and female, or male and male. This species was essentially the combination of two people, sort of like siamese twins. Zeus decided against it and split the people in half rearranging their organs etc. so that we would be as we are today. A soul mate by this definition is the person you would have been joined to, or were supposed to be joined to, sort of explaining different sexualities. Of course it's bogus, but still interesting. Not sure if I personally believe in a soul mate though...
A soul mate is a manufactured entity that serves no purpose other than to create disappointment and angst.
Huh... interesting. It would be too easy to just agree with that given definition. No... if I were to create a definition it would most certainly not be that. Might not be TOO far off, but definitely not that.
A soul mate... a soul mate...
I will agree with one point. You will not necessarily find yourself in a relationship with your soul mate, even if you met them under appropriate circumstances. Ideally you would, or if not marry them, then be best friends with them, and this relationship would persist to the end of time. In fact, ideally, even if you did date/marry them, even if the relationship fails, you would revert to best friends. But what does it mean to be a soul mate?
I will go with a quote from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon for this one:
Li Mu Bai:
"I've already wasted my whole life. I want to tell you with my last
breath that I have always loved you. I would rather be a ghost,
drifting by your side as a condemned soul, than enter heaven without
you. Because of your love, I will never be a lonely spirit."
i've never heard this version of a soul mate. i think it's a beautiful description.
That's an interesting definition of a soul mate that I hadn't heard before. I don't believe in the whole pre-destined soul mate myth, but I do believe in soul mates. The definition I go by is something I gleaned from "Path to Love" by Deepak Chopra. You choose your soul mate. Your soul mate is the person that you are with, that you've chosen to love unconditionally and chosen to grow with spiritually.
I'll say what they said on Sex and the City: Maybe our best friends are our soul mate and men are just somebody to have fun with. Haha That's what I believe.
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - Are you like..
A Love Major? ;)
haha.
A soul mate is Me + You, Always& Forever in Our Hearts<3
I think there are many different definitions of "soul mate".
When I think of a soulmate, I'm thinking someone that's like your twin. As of right now, I don't really believe in "soul mates". :/
Though, I like this description. :D
That description sounds more like a kindred spirit. A soul mate is more exclusive and suggests serendipity or destiny in some way.
@immaairheadxl@xanga - Haha, Aerospace Engineering! But I'm flattered :).
I can't say I agree, but then again, I can't say the term is all that well defined either.
It sounds like, from the above description, that a "soul mate" is someone who is good at reading the person in question. They have enough in common in the way they think or enough intuition/empathy that they can see things unsaid and unexpressed by the person.
I need to write my own blog on this, but I very much do not believe there is only one soul mate per person out there. I've met several along the way that were like that with me, my wife being the very pinnacle -- She reads me like a book, and our minds seem to always be in perfect sync.
However, to believe only one person in the universe is your one-and-only soul mate is both -- in my opinion -- a fallacy and dangerous to the heart, as it is immediately followed up by the depressingly tragic question of "but what if I pass them up?!"
There are multiple people out there who have a chance of truly connecting to you and making you happy. In the end, it boils down to who you decide you want.
I never really thought about it but like
immaairheadxl@xanga said:
"A soul mate is Me + You, Always& Forever in Our Hearts<3"
It's ideal enough.
Amazing!!!!!
if this is the definition, then yes, i've found mine.
I always thought of a soulmate like a twin.
Because people change, and they need different types of people at different points in their lives. The greatest thing is when you have two people who change at the same times to even each other out, or something.
I'm sometimes veryyy hormonaly charged, but she's always so mellow it brings me back down to Earth. She has a very linear approach to everything, and that lets me go up and down. And when my life's bad, hers seesaws so she's there for me, and vice versa!
my soul mayte turnd out to be a liar & a thief
I love this and I agree. I think I have found mine, he has opened my eyes to all that I could be. Not to sound conceited, but I am fairly naturally intelligent. I have known this guy for a long time, since we were very little, and he is one of the only guys I have met who is smarter than I am. He challenges me to be even smarter than I am, and his dedication his sport has made me want to try hard in school and things that are important to me. I do feel "awake" as that passage up there states.
the next issue, can u live w/ them forever? I think it depends. If you improve on the issues they show I believe it is possible. I also feel that you act as a mirror to your soulmate as well, therefore you bring out the best in each other. it's not a one way street. If you reach this level I definately think you can.
@coolmonkey@xanga - hehe. I liked that answer.
I've never found my "soul mate" - evil doppleganger, yes. I don't date the right men. I find myself "settling" so these last 8 years, I haave not dated. Not even once. Why? I guess I'm waiting for my "soul mate" to find me. I spent the first part of my life in search of him and did not find him. Now its his turn.
Is he out there? I don't know. I don't necessarily agree with the depiction from the book however I will concede that they do come into your life at a certain point in time and since we are not stagnant beings, we are constantly evolving and changing, that they may indeed be "Mr. Right Now" rather than a life long commitment type of person.
Is there a person that's looking for a life partner anymore? Would that person be able to finish your sentences most of the time? Would they be able to grow and change with you? Would they be able to keep up with you? That's hard to say. I think some people find one another and the rest of us get to observe them so we can try to recognize it if we're ever so lucky.
@nauticaloblivion@xanga -
I had never heard this before, but I find it quite interesting.
Really good post!
I believe a true soul mate is your soul's recognition of it's counterpart in another.It's someone who balances you and makes you complete,flaws and all.
I was lucky enough to find mine at a young age and was with him for a few years.I don't know how to describe it other than it was like being one half of the same person.But even soul mates are human and humans make mistakes,our mistakes tore us apart.
I know in my heart I'll never feel what I've felt for him and I believe we'll find each other again when we're at different places in our lives.
The whole thing sounds cheesy but once you've experienced it...you'll know.
@nauticaloblivion@xanga - Have you watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch? Stephen Trask wrote a song based off of that idea: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YO9FpWX57E&feature=PlayList&p=FECB70F421B1F1B0&index=0&playnext=1
this is an interesting philosophy however i think that any dating encounter should"...they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave." and once youre "awake" then you find one of youre soulmates. personally i believe in reincarnation and you were continually drawn to the same people someone has to steer us to knowing better. you can call em soulmates or whatever as long as you learn something from it, it doesnt matter. and i think people find differnt kinds of lovers at differnt times in their lives, present or past ones :)
I don't know a true definition for soul mate. I don't agree with the one that Richard fellow said in that book, though. If someone is actually a soul mate I figure they'll actually stay with you somehow or another. Hum, I'll have to think about this.