Monday, 09 February 2009
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Apparently My BF's Blackberry Is Magically Sending Him P**n
Last night I found emails relating to one-night stands and fooling around with random females on my boyfriend's computer. His sent folder was filled with emails asking females to send pics or inquiring if they're interested in hooking up. It has his personal information like his height, interests and his work/living status. I borrowed his computer because mine was busted and decided to check my email and it went to his inbox instead. These emails are sent from his Blackberry and he uses AT&T. All these emails had the BB signature "Sent via BlackBerry provided by AT&T".
I asked him about it last night and he denied everything and does not know how these emails are being received and sent from his account. I said he must have been receiving it on his BB and he said most of his emails get filtered into spam because it's BB. I think it's BS because data services from AT&T are just portal services and do not block you from reading items. Any filtering has to be done by his email carrier (MSN in this case). There even was an email sent from him with a picture of him taken by his BB. He denies even doing this. I have all this proof and he denies everything. I know a liar's greatest trick is to deny everything even if you're caught in bed with a woman making out. Deny deny deny.I’ve always trusted him 100% before this. He treats me pretty well. We've been together for two years now and are planning to move in together within six months. We were already planning our future living style and when to marry. I have a feeling he wasn't/isn't cheating on me and may just be using Craigslist to look for explicit pictures. He might just even be screwing around on Craigslist (like many other people) because the email chain usually ends after two emails sent when he receives a picture from the girl he emailed.
I have no problem with him looking at porn, but I do have a problem with him trying to meet random girls to hook up with. After we talked, I told him to change his password and to give his password to me. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I really can't see how it's possible for him NOT to be the one who's been sending these messages out. And even if he gave me his password, what will stop him from creating another email address just to email random girls? He's not even concerned that someone could have had his password and was emailing these girls.
My heart tells me it's him even though I don't want to believe it because I thought I found The One.
It's all a shock to me and I don't really know what to do. It's like finding Satan himself under the white cloth and wings.
How would you handle this? How can I trust him again?
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- From: GaMeGurLsH@xanga
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Comments (302)
peace the fuck out. if there's no trust, there's no love.
Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry. But if there was a picture that he took of himself and his personal information is listed, get out... get out now.
hehe. It's like that song by Shaggy, "Wasn't Me." lol.
but seriously, stop wasting your time with him.
C'mon! you know exactly what you need to do. The only issue is will you have the guts to do it.
Wow. Sounds like he's flat out lying. Good job on handling this responsibly and not like a crazy banshee like some other women do. It sounds like you know him well enough to tell that he's lying to you, right? Otherwise I'd put off moving in together until then. I wouldn't want to tolerate someone who denies everything and refuses to tell me the truth when the proof is right there.
Are you willing to? That would be a start. Sounds to me like he's be caught in the act, so to speak. Are you willing to love him unconditionally? To love him even if he never changes? Ask yourself questions like that. Perhaps ya'll could look into seeing a premarital counselor? I hear those help.. Which is amazing since I hope to one day become one, once I've been married for a while. You know? ;)
I wish you well, and I know that must have hurt your heart. It probably would have crushed my trust, and trust is a major issue and factor for me as is. haha. n.n;
Best wishes,
~*Akarui Mitsukai*~
Even if he hasn't hooked up with anyone, all the evidence points towards him wanting to hook up with someone. And that's just as bad, isn't it?
I'm sorry, but it just seems like he's looking for fun elsewhere.
@KasumiCelesta@xanga - Agreed. Though, also.. I'd put off moving in with him in general. Like I said, it sounds like he has some issues to work through first.. And you need to assure that he's willing. If he isn't, you need to decide if you can live with him as is, through the good and the bad, you know? You know what's best. You know your heart in this situation. What is it telling you, and what is your head telling you?
I know it must be hard for you to accept the fact that he's lying to you and all because you love him, but clearly, he mad an asshole move by lying to you and doing all that stuff.
I'd recommend leaving him because this doesn't point toward anything good.
if you two did happen to get married, the marriage would have a rocky foundation and that's never good.
wow. that is all so obviously a really half-assed cover up. dump his sorry butt, find a man that you can trust.
looks like you got a liar. best tell him that he either tells the truth or you're out.
WOW. That's like an EXPLOSION of lies. I'm sorry, so sorry, if you believe any of it even for a second you are naive, foolish, and the biggest sucker I've ever not met. If I'm being mean, it's because it's true. Seriously, that IS like the shaggy song (wasn't me) as cameronie said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ4axo9rmJY
That being said, this guy is now worlds beyond forgiveness. 1. he's so blatantly lying it's utterly ridiculous. I am an electronics guru. 2. the fact that he's lying so blatantly he must think you're a total idiot/sucker/fool/desperate to believe anything he says 3. get yourself tested for STDs, pronto 4. this guy is a pos
Honestly, unless you're down with him sleeping around, dump his @$$ because he's either doing it or trying really hard, with the higher likelihood on he's doing it. Dump him. Get tested. Move on. Sorry girl. Here... read this blog of mine (among others...):
http://www.xanga.com/MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio/689746239/girls-please-stop-lying/
@AnGeLmArYy21@xanga - Werddd
"I know a liar's greatest trick is to deny everything even if you're caught in bed with a woman making out. Deny deny deny."
That's not true. Denying everything only puts you into a bigger hole. A liar's greatest trick is to tell the truth.
Well there's no guarantee that it is him. Yeah, it sounds implausible but you never know. People steal identities all the time. You can have your passwords phished around every corner these days, even something supposedly secure like a personal email address.
Give this password gig a try. If he wasn't smart enough to initially use an alternate email address the first time he won't think of it after. Also, make sure he knows you don't have a problem with him looking at pornographic images. Maybe he thinks you'd act the same way if you one day found him surfing porn sites.
In the event of him actually continuing behavior where he actively participates in luring girls to gain nudes, dump him. Trust is a foundation in all relationships that are destined for longevity.
You should hurry up and marry him.
@Cameronie@xanga - haha.
i know , right?
sounds like you know whats going on.....i think he's lying to you.
there are other ways to look at porn without giving out personal information.
End it.
I think I agree with almost everyone who's said this so far. There's so much evidence against him. Yeah, you thought you found the perfect guy, but guess what? Flawed. Not only is he (sort of) cheating, he's lying when there's so much evidence working against him. He's just digging himself deeper and giving you more reasons to dump him.
i would dump his ass and never trust him again.
I was on his side until the picture thing. You said there was a picture of him in the mix, somehow or another. So I'm guessing that he sent somebody a picture of him? If I were you, I'd just tell him that it's obvious that he's lying. (Because it is.) Tell him that you're up to trying to get through that if he'll own up to it and change his ways. Just, lay out what you're saying here. You're okay with him looking at porn, etcetc. If he's not willing to comply, well... You know. :/
You know were this is going. If you deny what he did, then you are the one to blame. Just dump him.
Dump his ass. If you don't, you'll regret it later.
of course he isnt worried about someone stealing his account because its a bunch of bullshit...if you know the game about the whole "deny it even with proof in the other person hands" then u obviously need to start making a descion on if u want to live like this because like you said he can make a new account and start doing the same shit all over again. hopefully your smart enough to know what to do and not be stupid like some of these chicks out in the world. GOODLUCK!!!!!
obviously something is up...and its not something good...
..now CHECK OUT MY "NEED HELP?" BLOG...thanks
oh my goodness. I am so sorry you have to even go through with this. I suggest do not move in with him. Dont let him change your ideas though, like dont let all his denial get to you and actually convince you that you're wrong because your not, You have your proof. Now its up to him to accept that you know about it and come clean. Seriously though dont move in... good luck :)