Monday, 09 February 2009
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The Less Intrusive Way to Say You Aren't Dating, Just...Having Fun
ov3r_us3d may have brought a permanent new phrase to Datingish! Here's her comment on our post about office relationships:This reminded me of a list of little known office lingo: the "umfriend" - a person you work with who you are having sex with but not necessarily in a relationship with. As in, "This is my um, friend Jeff."
When it comes to describing someone you're just fooling around, what's your phrase of choice? FWB? f**k buddy? umfriend?
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Comments (37)
I've never had to explain because I've never been in a relationship like that, but I usually refer to it as "fuck buddies" when talking to my friends about their relationships and TV shows and such, so I'd probably say the same thing about myself too.
Fuck buddy. Or Ex-boyfriend I'm still hopelessly in lust with.
Friends with benefits is too long but it's the more explanatory phrase. Also, what's up with that picture? why are their feet dangling off? can't they fit?
Man candy...
@The_Prestigiator@xanga - Sometimes I wonder the same thing. lol. About the picture.. I meant. :D
But I've never been in that situation whereas I have a FWB relationship. If I did have one, I'll just call him.. "that" friend. lol.
There is already a term. It's called HUB: Hookup Buddy.
1. Can also be used like HUBUD
As in "Yo, that'd be a great HUBud"
2. Or if someone's really 'hawt', you say HUBA BA BA.
Can mean same thing.
Boy Toy.
I've never been in that kind of situation before but I would say they are friends with benefits.
@The_Prestigiator@xanga - What if you aren't even friends? Hookup buddy would be the most accurate description. Maybe as this becomes more popular in the 21st century we can have several classifications. A hookup buddy is just hookups and no friendship (ie: you met a frat boy at a club who's a REALLY good lay). FWB is for friends who you begin sleeping with. Office romances can be umfriends (that's great by the way, I'm going to start using that). One night stands are still one night stands.
I just call them my fuck buddy. Other people joke and say he's my boyfriend, but he's just a fuck buddy, lol.
@JodoBaggins@xanga - Boy toy?
haha. I usually have this problem when I dont wanna admit to my family that the guy is my boyfriend. But this past month he really was a guy I was just fooling around with. I didnt know what to say cause we acted like we were dating but we werent official.
So I would say "he's my um, friend?"
But I did phrase it like a question. lol
My fuck buddies were all people I had previously dated. We just let people assume we were back together and never confronted the situation by giving it a title.
Well, considering I haven't had such a relationship, nor do I have the desire to be in one, I'm not sure what phrasing I would use (I would not want to lose my virginity with someone who I am not in a relationship with, call me crazy... but yeah).
I'd probably just place the person in the friend category. If you're on speaking terms and having sex, you can probably at least use the term friend for lack of a better description.
I think umfriend is hysterical! I tend to stay away from messy titles and abbreviations, so my general terms are "boyfriend/girlfriend," "dating" or "hooking up."
Boyfriend/girlfriend is clear-cut. I'm exclusively dating someone.
Dating means that we're feeling each other out, but there's emotion behind. This is certainly not a friends with benefits situation, because we're both looking forward to future titles.
Hooking up, for me, is a physical relationship. We may lust each other, but there is no love. I, personally, have only involved myself once in a relationship like this. One difference I find that I have between my definition of hooking up and other people's, is that I don't involve sex in mine. Sex is kind of a big deal for me, so if I do engage in this, it's because I'm emotionally attached. Hooking up does not mean having sex, it means everything but.
for females we say they have a "boy toy". For the guys iono, we just say dating or something.
honestly, when i had a fwb for about a year...for awhile we called each other best friends, or really close, or something like that. to my family, who began to notice, i just said we were together but we weren't really serious. it was then easy to see him and not be frowned upon by my family, and it wasn't a big deal to us with the title of best friends...which we were, besides the whole physical aspect.
FWBs. I don't say the letters, I pronounce it as if it were a word. But I love the umfriend. I might have to use that.
I would say "close" friend. Im not going to just be blunt and say "we fuck, but dont date." no. use some manners. "We 'see' each other on occasions."
@The_Prestigiator@xanga - ahahah that's funny. i never thought about that..
"umfriend" sounds really funny! and so true.
Lover. Or Ex. ExLover.
I don't mix the business of hooking up with the pleasure of my friendships, so I don't have a word for what that person would be.
works better to say the person I am spending time with.. it is not a lie, and spending time with doesn't imply sex or no sex..
A friend of mine used to refer to her now BF as her "Bonk Buddy" before they became a couple.
umfriend.
lawl.
I'm so using that now.
Fuck Buddy sounds too violent to me. haha