Inspired by the season finale of MTV's "Double Shot at Love," I've begun to question whether or not it is physically and mentally sound for siblings to date the same people.
Let me rephrase - I think that I've always questioned whether it's right or wrong. But now, I'm beginning to wonder what other people think.
After watching the finale and finding out that both twins picked the same person, it was obvious that one was going to be heartbroken. When I first started watching this show, I thought that the two sisters were going to be picking separate people for themselves so as not to cause any controversy between the two of them. I quickly learned that this was not the case at all. Instead, the two (twin, bisexual) sisters dated the same people and ended falling for the same one.
So I have to ask - what do you think about dating someone your sibling has already been with? Do you think that it depends on how "far" they got with this person, or is it just seriously wrong to share companions? What would you do if your sibling asked your permission to get with an ex?
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Comments (43)
Well, seeing as my only sibling is my 13 years old brother, I would probably go to jail if I dated anyone he was dating haha. Still, even if he was around my age I wouldn't feel right dating someone he had dated before. It would feel slightly incestuous in a way. Might be alright with others, but I would prefer not to.
My sisters and I often traded boyfriends, as long as the other sister hadn't ever really been in love with the guy. If she hadn't been in love with the guy, then she hadn't had sex with him either. The guys caught on to this, and they actively tried to get dates with us so that they could have a chance with us or our girlfriends who also began to take up the slack on the boyfriends. This may sound icky, but it was just a fun social circle of celibate dating. We all worked it out so we had dates, and so we had friends who understood the situation.
Segue: my sons. The eldest dated a girl from church, that we'd known since she was 7. That was the first surprise, because they'd never seemed interested in each other, and they "ran" with very different friends. After a few months, they had a friendly parting, and that was it. The younger son worked with her brother and her on fireworks shows, and then (shock!) began dating her a few years later! He checked with his brother first, and then had her check with her Dad (cause my youngest and her Dad had suffered a mild falling out years before), and so they began a courtship. They will be celebrating their first anniversary in April.
My conclusion: As long as there has been no sexual contact, as long as no one's heart was really wrapped up in the relationship, and as long as the person wasn't damaging. I don't see a problem with it.
To each his own, but in my family this would be a big no no. I value my relationships with my siblings far too much to let someone get between that. In my opinion, that is exactly what you are allowing to happen, if you date someone a sibling has dated.
Not in our family.... we have strict rules about passing dates around.......no way no how........ ~Echo
Honestly, I think it's totally wrong because consider all the awkwardness, etc. But then again, you can't defy love!
haha well i'm straight and i only have a brother, so dating one of his girlfriends would kinda be out of the question :P
however, supposing i had a sister, i probably would be veryyy uncomfortable dating someone she was with. way too much drama would result from that. unless of course, she wanted us to be together, like she thought we'd make a good couple or something, that would be a different story. otherwise, no.
*looks at my brothers* If they dated a girl my age, I'll kill her first then I'd kill them! If I dated a boy their age *12* well I just wouldn't for that's sick! :P And I'd end up in jail! Siblings passing around boyfriends/girlfriends isn't so good!~ I'm trying to think of a Korean drama or something to relate this to, but I can't think of any now! :)
it's a good thing i'm an only child then. i can date whoever i want! =)
I don't even date or go near any of the guys that my friends had dated before. Speaking of siblings.. I would never go there either. It's just gross. And if one of sisters wanted to date a guy that I dated.. awkward, but who am I to say no to her? She could if she wants but thankfully, all my sisters and me have different taste in guys. Whew!
There's nothing wrong with it, really, so long as one sibling wasn't in love with the guy / girl that the other sibling gets with. I don't have siblings, but really.. I don't think I'd want to get with any of their exes, nor would I want them to get with mine.
thank god my only sibling is a brother. he will never ever date my ex unless he is gay.
and i think this can apply to friends too. i'm dating my friend's ex fling and she is still in love with him. don't even know if i should ask her for a permission and how she'll react.
i think this will be even harder if its a sibling, someone so close to you.
Well my sisters are over ten years older than me so ewe.
Hahah, I laugh because I was in this situation before. There is still this debate about which one of us was with her first. But, all in all, we had no problem. Both of us weren't that attached and weren't together for that long.
It's usually a huge conflict of interest when you date someone a friend has already dated so why make it worse and date someone else a family member has already dated?
To me, the obstacles you would have to overcome (unless everyone is okay with the situation) greatly outweighs any benefit you could reap from the relationship.
well my bro iz str8 & im so not into womyn that way i hav however datid two of my brotherz best frendz & two of my sisterz xiz no ishuez on the brother front but my sis wuz pissd off but the way i see it x = x which meenz they wer fair gayme
I would consider dating someone your sibling was seeing as equal to dating someone your best friend was seeing. It doesn't matter how close you are to your sibling, it still calls for a very awkward situation.Â
my siblings are both brothers. But my best friend and her sister both had a crush on the same guy for a long time. This sounds really bad....but that was the same guy I am dating now. This had been at least a year or so after they got over him though...I was scared to tell them I liked him, but it was easier that I though. In this case, I guess I am glad to have brothers, but I was wondering the same thing
Depends on how the breakup went. If there were no hard feelings and we were still friends, then she's free to go for it. But if I'm awkward and resentful around him and there's bitterness between us, then I'm hoping my sister would be attentive enough to not go for him.
But - goodness, wouldn't there always be those especially enhanced suspicions that your significant other still had feelings for your sibling? And there'd be jealousy and accusations.
I think it honestly depends on the feelings that the sibling had for an ex-boyfriend, but knowing my sister, I'm sure she would mind. I'd mind as well, noted that I have a twin sister.
as long as your not dating that person while your sibling is still with them than i guess its ok. their not together for a reason but i think its more polite to ask your sibling if their ok with you dating their ex...just to be on the safe side.
just dont make it a habit of dating all of your siblings exes cause than its just weird.
That wouldn't happen in my family.
To those who have this kind of tendencies remember there is plenty of fish in the sea. Learn to cast your net wide and please avoid fishing in the same stream as your siblings.
Bad
Times
Two of my closest friends are identical twin sisters and dated the same guy. Lots and lots of bad times. Lots. They lived together and got along amazingly well, but lots of resentment and issues and BAD BAD TIMES. STAY AWAY.
Not in my family. I dont think i can ever do that and plus the pp my sister dates are different from those i date.