Miss FoxI have a pretty great ex-boyfriend story.
The Ex and I were dating, on and off, through middle school and high school. We were naively convinced that we were "meant to be" and "made for each other". This isn't to say that high school sweethearts don't exist, but despite our Class Couple award senior year, we didn't really fit into that category.
Before we broke up, we set my sister and his cousin up on a blind date. Together, the four of us and a few of my friends went miniature golfing and out for dinner. What I thought was just a night out with good people turned out to be much more for my sister and his cousin.
My sister has been dating my ex's cousin for almost five years now. On Christmas Day, he proposed.
Now I'm incredibly excited for the two of them. I love her boyfriend, and I want her to be happy, so I'm thrilled that they have found each other. The awkward situation, however, will come about on her wedding day...
The Ex will (most likely) be the Best Man, and I will be the Maid of Honor.
Together, The Ex and I will be walking down the aisle - just not as a newly married couple, like we once anticipated five years ago.
Now that I'm foreseeing this awkward situation occurring, I'm thinking that there are a million of things that I would have said when we broke up. It's not that we don't talk, because we are both pretty caught up on each other's lives and usually chat every other week. But even to this day (despite being in a long-term relationship) I know there are plenty of things that should be cleared up before we walk arm-in-arm in front of our families at the wedding.
Do you wish you could go back and say something to an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend? What is something that you wish you could clear up? If your present boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to talk to their ex, how would you take it?
Comments (39)
curious enough the fact the yesterday i talked back with my ex after almost 11 months we didn't communicate almost at all (some sms sometimes).
I can talk about myself of course, and I can say that the whole topic headed towards the reasons of our breakup, her expectations, mine, and generally a kind of "you did that to me..and I felt like that..." situation..
I don't wish to go back. I think that if some of you said something and did something at THAT moment it meant that him/you was feeling to say/do that. My suggestion could sound as...no regrets, but clarify it all..if you feel it...
i don't mind if my bf talks to his ex cos i always talk (chat)with my ex ~ (they become my friends after breaking up~ i just can't bear that the connection with those whom i really care for suddenly doesn't exist anymore ...)
for the first time when i talked to my ex was kinda weird ... we tried to talk about things we'd done ... tried to talk about the good days ... but then i find that it really hurts me cos i know that i couldn't turn the time back to the old days ~
so now ~ i don't talk about the relationship of ours to them ~ i think it'd better to leave all those memories behind ~ it's all in the past and talking about it couldn't make any changes to our relationship ~ now ~ we can share everything as a friend ~ and im happy with that ~~
i could never walk away from a situation without letting out all my thoughts and emotions, so basically i've already said everything i needed to say to the ex before we left each other. but i do sometimes wonder if he has stuff left unsaid and if he would want to clear some things up if we ever talk again. i think it might be a little bit awkward if that ever happens but i am still curious to know.
as for my current bf, i guess i'm lucky that i'm his first so i don't have to worry about issues with the exes.
i like how your story is sorta similar to me currently. my boyfriend and i knew each other since diaper years, and started dating in middle school. we've been with each other for almost 7 years, and like you i thought he was the one i was destined to spend the rest of my life with. being that he was in the military and all, it was hard on both of us since we couldn't be together as much as we wanted to, but he came by my place, asked me to dinner, then proposed. i was utterly shocked! i was not even prepared, i DIDN'T want to get married just yet. he clearly misunderstood the whole situation and thought that i didn't want to be commited to him, which i really do. but i just wanted him to wait, till i got everything straightened out, and we were set on stability.
the rejection ended up with us truly breaking up. no more "getting back together" nada. what's even more heartbreaking is that while he and i were still dating, there was another girl trying to butt in into our relationship, and i guess they had a fling with each other while we were off and on, but anyways, a week after he went back home he called me and said he was getting married to her! what's even worse is that they got married on my birthday, which was a week after that.
he calls me often that it makes it even harder for me to move on, i just keep on missing him. i talked to him about his misunderstanding, and i could tell in his voice that he was regretful. i really wished he gave me a chance to explain myself before he just stormed out of the restaurant like he did on the day he proposed to me..
I can see this situation making things worse. You should talk to him after the wedding.
Im not so much worried about the conversation, I would probably kick my ex's ass if i saw him again( and the girl I caught him cheating on me with).
Strangely enough I am talking with my ex-husbands soon to be new wife and I talk with just about everyday we have become pretty good friends. They are getting married in June and I am so happy for them. He and I just were too young to get married and made a lot of mistakes that I think he blames himself for... Things long since forgotten and forgiven. We were not meant to be, but we make great friends. I hope Ray (my ex) would take them same time to get to know Jer, my fiance, as I am Ocean.
haha. my husband and I see our exes a lot since we go to school with them. I actually had a quick convo yesterday with my ex and am performing in a drag show (dancing half naked) along with my husband's ex tonight. lol. we're all on speaking terms but I guess we aren't "friends" in the real sense of the word.
what ex
"let's be fuck buddies."
DANG LOL
that's some shit. hHAHHAHAHHahahaa
When my GF started talkin to her ex's again, 2 at the same time, she ended up breakin up with me for a short while to attempt to get back with them, Both times, she came crying back to me to take her back and forgive her..
Stupidly, i did.. i was in love and she was my first, sometimes, i regret it.. she still says that she talks to them and it just puts that doubt in the air about the whole thing again, no matter what she says. She has said the same things before and still tried to get with them xD.
Idk.. thats probally why im kinda falling out of love with her.. lol.
Yes. I used to wish I could go back and said something different or handled the situation better.
What's done is done. It's time to let go and move on, and don't bring up anything to your ex on that day. All that you need to do is smile politely and simply say hello.
I try not to dwell on the past, although if i can go back in time and say/do something, i'd probably kick his balls for being such an asshole =)
I used to want to say A LOT of things to my ex, just for closure & what not, but now that I think about it, some things are better left unsaid. Besides, we both got on with our lives.. & it looks like you have as well.
I did talked to an ex (or two should I say) a while back and told them something that I always wanted to tell them both. It's good to have your say in it and let it out rather than always wondering about it.
But if my husband wanted to clear something with his ex, I guess so? Just as long as they both know where they stand (hehe).
I would tell my ex that even though she ended it I tried my best to make her happy. Whether she could see it or not I tried to put her first in the relationship. I knew she figured that out when she told me she fell in love with me after we broke up.
you talk every other week...maybe you two are destined...have you seen the movie 'when harry met sally'?
if it was me, i'd just want to know what really went wrong.
I wouldn't mind if a boyfriend wanted to chat up an ex. One of my close guy friends happens to be an ex of mine, we're more like siblings now than each other's exes. But it'd be hypocritical for me to deny him, if I was doing the same thing. Granted we never had an awkward hatred for each other, we were friends for about two years before we even thought about dating, and so we didn't want to stop being friends. It was peaceful and clean split.
It's not like he's going to automatically cheat or be a jerk just because he's talking to an ex. That's where trust comes into play.
First of all the Maid of Honor and Best Man are not required to say even one word to each other, so you can rest easy. Just go and play the role, but don't feel obligated. If you have something left to say to him, you can look him up anytime and say it.
As far as what I would go back and say to my ex: I would say to each of them, "What a terrible idea that was. You still owe me money and apologies but you can never return the time you stole. I want to forgive you but I forgot how to do that, thanks in large part to your efforts."
Something I could clear up? How about she takes back a share of the blame and acknowledges that I have indeed paid my part long ago and in spades.
Not cool with my wife (gf or whatever) communicating with old flames to discuss the yet tender open wounds of the past. If I had had one occurrence of actual closure in my life, I might perhaps feel differently; but my opinion right now is that closure is an unattainable illusion.
I try not to think about the past too much - It hurts my head lol.
Buttttt.
First ex - That I'm sorry for what I've done, and I still -"L" word here- him.
Second ex - I wanna ask him why he's changed so much. :/
Third and Fourth Ex - "FUCK YOU." :D Along with a kick in the shin.
I wouldn't mind if my SO talked to his ex, as long as she keeps her hands off of my guy.
wow this is like a story line for a romantic comedy
@wolvenchic@xanga - Haha! You go girl.
Nah, I have absolutely nothing to say to any of them. I wasn't in a serious relationship with even one of them, not even to the slightest degree. If my boyfriend were to want to talk to an ex.. well.. honestly, that's not going to happen. He has the same feelings toward all of his exes that I do mine; in other words he wants nothing to do with them, and he pretty much has nothing he needs to say. Me and him are both pretty good at saying what we need to.
well, i understand where ur coming from, my h.s. sweet heart and i we together for almost 8 months and we believed that were meant for each other and did everything in our power to maintain the relationship stable. but unfortunately, 2 weeks before my graduation, we broke up *i'm 5 months older*, and havent spoken since.
i think of her to this day, womdering how she's been, is she happy, if there's anything she left unsaid, n if she could say something...wat would it be?? but i think it's all wishful thiking since i still care about her and her whereabouts. so, if i could back, i would definitely clear up the issue about my family not accepting the relationship, the "other" girl *who didnt amount to one ounce of the amazingly beautiful person she was to me* and how i should've been more reluctant to not letting her go. cuz it's been 3 years n i still cant find someone who would stand by me the way she did. and i do regret not telling her before i let her walk away.
as for my current ex, when we were together well we talked about HER ex , because she's a friend of mine. *i kno, i kno....big NO NO* lol...hope it helps.