Tuesday, 03 February 2009

  • The Importance of Facebook/MySpace In Your Relationship

    Miss Fox

    I've said it since I was a member of MySpace: MYSPACE RUINS RELATIONSHIPS.  You can go into a relationship perfectly fine, but once you come across your SO's page, you freak that you're not #1 in his top 945.  The same goes for Facebook - the need to claim your boo on this public profile brings out premature conversations about "taking it to the next step" in order to determine if you're Single, In a Relationship, or Complicated.

    I want to ask: SO WHAT?

    Your relationship is held in real life, not in technology land.  Who cares if you're not before his sister on his top friends, or if you're not the last person to post on her wall?  You should be more concerned about who she's kissing in public, not poking on Facebook.
    These complications bring out the idea of what I like to call Technical Cheating.  Just because you are not being physical with an outsider doesn't clear you from the dog house; secret messages online about late night chat sessions can be just as telling about a man or woman's personality as anything else.

    So what's your take?  Do you believe that the advances in the technical world are hurting relationships or enhancing them?  Have you ever become the crazed boyfriend or girlfriend when you see your SO hugging someone else in his or her pictures online?

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Comments (67)

  • carriesplace@xanga
    uh-huh

    i had a girl get really upset cause i bought her fiance on a myspace app...I laughed and told her to get therapy, myspace is not real life...lol

  • kusakusakiwi@xanga

    fbook/myspace works sometimes for the better, because they can help reveal or hint things that the SO didn't want his/her other to know. hey, just ending the relationship quicker than it would have normally taken

    but also the girlfriend can be psycho and have major jealousy problems (maybe the boyfriend..but it's almost always the girl) and blow things out of proportion..and end a relationship that may have actually worked in the end (who knows)

    i guess it has its pros and cons. but usually, if a relationship is healthy and mature, fbook/myspace interactions won't affect the couple.
  • xMarleyMommax@xanga

    I have the problem of my inbox. If someone emails me, he has to know how I know them, where I met them and when. How long have I known them? I get the first degree. No time for thirds.

    I try to avoid myspace because of this. And FaceBook? Please. If I kept up with that, he'd spazz even more knowing I have male friends. Augh!



    I see nothing wrong with his though. So what if he has chick friends? I could care less. Oh well.
  • tammie_cecilia@xanga

    I personally don't take things like Facebook seriously anyway (I absolutely HATE Myspace). When me and my guy started going together, we didn't even have it listed under our relationship status' on Facebook for the longest time. Some didn't think that meant we didn't still go out while others thought it did, prompting a barrage of questions. When we did add it to our profiles was when more people began to find out about our relationship. Thing is, websites like Facebook have become such popular social networks that people even feel propelled to share their most personal info with their communities, whether it is through the status' they post or the notes they write to tag people in.

  • Katja88@xanga

    From the point of view of an LDR, Facebook can be a great way to keep in touch.  I post pictures, he can see them.  Really, though, it's AIM that helps us the most (I don't like phones) by giving us the chance to talk daily.  And email is good for nights our schedules don't mix.


    I still love the technology-free writing of letters, though.
  • happy_mia@xanga

    Yeah, well...I was once the stupid psycho girlfriend on myspace...

    KIDDING LOL!

    Actually - my friends and I never take these sites seriously at all.  In fact, I made a profile on facebook for my cat and then I assigned my relationship status with the cat as complicated.  All my friends became friends with the cat.  The cat leaves comments and pictures of cat poop on everyone's walls.  We take pictures of random things on our iPhones and post them up on various peoples walls.  We bash the crap out of eachother and in real life we love each other dearly.  We have a great time with it.

    @tammie_cecilia@xanga - I agree - myspace has become such a total wasteland - like geocities did.
  • my_final_username@xanga

    I dont like how advances in the technical world are hurting relationships or enhancing them,   I have never been in the position.


    You are probably not safe even with Xanga (and subsite) Bebo etc.
  • SWEETxN0VEMBER@xanga

    myspace and facebook is just a social network,. my bf and i do not care about these online stuff because what it is is just the internet. those sites aren't hurting our relationship because we do not care too much for them to bother us at that level. everyone has both male and female friends, we're human. 
  • mbbrad4d@xanga

    I've been one of those people who looks up the ex just after the break-up. It makes moving on much harder when you do things and post things to spite one another.


    It's also more difficult to maintain "reality" when you're always on the computer checking feeds, new pictures, and posts on a significant other's page. It can get rather obsessive.
  • s_h_a_sha@xanga

    lol its just a site!! its not the bodd of anything

  • malissa1578@xanga

    It does not affect my relationship, but then again we don't have pictures of us hugging anyone else other than friends and family, which is not really a big deal. My fiance is my top friend on myspace, but he is never on anymore. I am hardly on myspace either anymore. I like facebook more.

    I find that people that let these things affect them already have problems in their relationship, but just don't understand what they are. If you were happy in your relationship you really wouldn't be poking a complete stranger on a site period. I have friends that poke me, but not in come on manner and if someone does make an approach I tell them I am in a relationship, but thank you for the compliment and hope they find someone as I am not that person. Its a matter of trust and respect. If you had trust and respect for your SO then you would not put your self in those situation or your SO.

  • wolvenchic@xanga

    well it depends on whats going on. Cheating is in the intent.
  • christinajeanne@xanga

    I've always thought that my space and facebook ruin relationships. It almost ruined my 8 year relationship. Which is why I'm done with my space and facebook. My advice keep your relationship and friendships in the real world. 
  • BoStOnIaNMoMmY@xanga

    normally people who arent going to last in a relationship and thats not really serious, stuff like facebook and myspace will end up breaking them up, thats just to bad how people take the internet so serious, they will learn the hard way simple as that.
  • UnVolume@xanga

    I'm definitely not one to make a big deal out of things. I even forgot to change my status on Myspace from single to relationship for a bit but you know what? Who cares! Not a big deal.
  • EmanBruin@xanga

    My take:

    People need physical evidence for their relationship statuses. Usually, those are rings. Wedding rings, engagement rings, steady rings, onion rings, whatever.

    Now we have social networking. Now we can set our statuses and proclaim our love to the world. AND we don't have to drop our life's savings to do it! It's just the practical solution, really...
  • KasumiCelesta@xanga

    I have friends who don't even take their relationship statuses seriously. One of my friends was "married" to her female roommate on Facebook, and on Myspace I'm listed as being in a relationship when I'm really not (it's to keep jerks away). Some people take Facebook and Myspace way too seriously. I feel a bit sorry for the younger kids who are going to grow up with this stuff for all of their lives, and some older people have already forgotten what life was like before such sites even existed.
  • TheHiddenRose86@xanga

    Facebook was how I realized that the guy I was really into was just not that into me. Yeah I know, it is a movie title now, but he really did not like me. I felt like I got rejected on facebook...does this happen to anyone? Do people actually get rejected on Facebook or was I the only loser this happened to?
  • SparklingFaery@xanga

    It depends what the person is trying to do on there.

    Personally, I think they've had very minimal impact on my relationship with my current significant other generally. It has been very helpful too. We can make events, or check events that we're supposed to go to together or something and other sort of things to remember. Also, when we're living far apart, it's a great way to keep in touch, with the chats and wall posts and private messages. And it's fun to play games versus each other on it or send stickers and things.
    Facebook has definitely helped us more than hurt us. It's only caused drama between us and his ex when we first got together, because his ex and I used to live together. But no FB drama for us anymore. (Knock on wood!)
    We go on each other's facebooks all the time when were over at each others place's and using the computer. It's only caused us to change the "status" of the person, but we always log each other out to do stuff and never sneak around on each others accounts. No need to.
  • Sezwick@xanga

    I dunno... when an ex of mine was sending provocotive messages to one chick on myspace, seeing another naked on cam and having cyber sex with my cousin... the virtual world can get way into the relm of "cheating."
  • rpghero27@xanga

    I barely have enough time for xanga.  What makes anyone think I've got time for Myspace or Facebook?
  • Jessi12288@xanga

    I think there's a fine line. There are people that go too far.


    However my boyfriend and I constantly joke about "Facebook stalking" each other.


    He loves to leave comments on my pictures, wall, etc. And vice versa here.


    For us, it's another outlet to use to say little 'I love yous' and such.


    Girls comment on my boyfriends wall all the time. Some of them are even exes. I don't mind because he's with me now, and that's all that matters to either of us.


    ...plus, they're exes for a reason.
  • jeezshoua@xanga

    My husband is always assuming and accusing that I'm "cheating" on him with my MySpace guy friends (which I know them loooooong before his time, anyways).  Some days he would just want to go through my comments and messages and look at what my guy friends sent me.  Yeah, he gets mad over a "How's the weather over there?" comment  lol. 

    I think it hurts and enhance the relationship with your s/o.  If you're long distance, you can keep in contact there.  See how s/he is doing by reading their blogs, mood status, whatever.  And yeah, you can also find out what your s/o is up to by reading his/her comments from other people (mainly the opposite sex) and how s/he replies to them.  lol.  It work both ways.  Just depends how you look at the relationship and where you stand.
  • Annalyn04@xanga

    Oh, yes. Facebook can most DEFINITELY ruin relationships. NOT a fan. I don't pay much attention to myspace, so that matters naught.

    But, yeah, it's even worse when you're recently broken up, and then you get on facebook one day to see your ex-SO in a relationship with someone else. HOLY CRAP. That one HURTS.

  • Roadlesstaken@xanga

    Duh, everyone knows it's not official until it's Facebook official!  =P

    Btw, I still find it amusing that when you end a relationship on Facebook, it will asked you if you want to "cancel" it haha

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