Saturday, 31 January 2009
-
When Another Girl Calls Your BF by A Pet Name
Nicknames are good for shortening names or giving pet names or reliving inside jokes or memorable moments. In relationships, maybe you give your significant other a nickname because it's cute or mushy or however you roll...but if your boyfriend's calling some girl "cupcake" and she's calling him "cheesecake" for some unknown reason, then how would that make you feel?Maybe I'm overreacting, but I've heard the nicknames given to my boyfriend in the past, and none were anywhere nearly as romantic or cheesy as "cheesecake". And I don't like the idea of his calling a girl "cupcake". I mean, it does sound ridiculous, but come on. I'm feeling uncomfortable here.
I've seen her messages that say "I love you cheesecake!" or "I love you boo!" And I'm like, OH HELL NO BITCH...but I didn't do anything of course. He'd reply, "Of course. You too."
I'm not saying that his gal friends can't say that they "love" him, but what's with the pet name added? I don't even have a pet name for my boyfriend.
Anyway, I just wanted to know how you would react if heard your boyfriend/girlfriend call the opposite sex by a pet name. And it's NOT out of closeness.Would you mind him/her using that nickname, or would you ask them to stop?
-
recommend
- recs 1
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: reminisce
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 7 Views: 0 32588 Comments: 0 526 View all posts by reminisce
Comments (120)
I'd be pretty annoyed and I'd want her to stop, but like... How do you ask something like that without seeming like a jealous bitch? I'd probably ask my boyfriend to at least explain where the nicknames come from, so I can know... And then just keep my annoyance to myself, lol...
I had this happen to me. The girl was calling my boyfriend snookums, puppy, etc. If it was over facebook, I would write, "awe snookums" or something on his wall, in hopes that she would see, and cut it out. Eventually, she read this and instead of emailing me, emailed him asking if I hated her. When I found out about this, I wrote her a nice message that said, "no, I don't hate you. I don't even know who you are. but one thing I don't like is that you're calling my boyfriend by these affectionate pet names. it's making me uncomfortable." She replied back, saying that she has a "maternal instinct" (lol) and calls people by these pet names all the time. She then said I was being rude by not coming to her about it. wtf, right? Isn't she the one who went to my boyfriend first? Anyway, the problem is now resolved. If she does call him by nicknames, I wouldn't know about it, because she cut the facebook crap. And that is fine by me. I also realize that if my boyfriend felt at all attracted to her physically AND emotionally, he would tell me to hit the road, and go out with her. Just tell your boyfriend how you feel, and if you have the balls to message the girl about it, do so. If she's a nice person, she'll stop.
Hm. There are three types of people that girl could be.
1. The bitch who tries to flirt with everyone else's man, because she needs their attention to feel validated. Enough said.
2. The girl who is "cute" and really just says those things to everyone, because she thinks it's "cute" or personal or whatever. She's harmless, but a little annoying.
3. The girl who is pretty good friends with your guy, and it's an inside joke between them.
Either way, you're probably not going to get her to stop without coming off like a huge bitch. So talk to your bf about it. See if there's a legit reason; if not, let him know that it makes you uncomfortable. If he doesn't really want to do anything about it, then just back off, and realize that he's with YOU for a reason.
its bothers me when I see girls sending messeages like "thank you. I love you boo!" and he responds "no problem love!" or "no problem sweetie. Love you."
Mainly because he uses those exact phrases with me. And it freaks me the fuck out. makes me question where i stand next to his female friends.
Like most of the previous comments, there's not really anything you can say without coming off like a jealous bitch.
I generally dislike that whole "OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" attitude that some girls have. Thankfully, my boyfriend appears to be just as annoyed by it as I am.
Other than his relatives...I wouldnt allow anyone to call my bf any pet names. These bitches need to know their place. And if my bf doesnt make her stop....I walk. I see it as a sign if disrespect.
Other than his relatives...I wouldnt allow anyone to call my bf any pet names. These bitches need to know their place. And if my bf doesnt make her stop....I walk. I see it as a sign if disrespect.
It really would depend on his relationship with the girl. But based on his reply, he seems unimpressed by the use of the pet name. It could be that she's just one of Those people, or she could be a complete bitch who is trying to steal your boyfriend, either way he doesn't seem to be buying into it.
The times in which it is Ok and not even too annoying {from my point of veiw} is when they are really good friends and it's something random or some inside joke. One of my best friends is a guy, and while I usually call him by his name I'll occasionaly say Mr or Champ or something like that {although I only use champ when I'm trying to annoy him} and he does the same to me. I get the impression that it annoyed his ex that we had this inside thing though, because she started calling him by my nicknames for him... I dunno. ANYWAY it doesn't seem like her use of petnames means anything to him.
I guess you should just simply tell him that you dont feel comfortable with that, and see how he reacts. Explain that you are not jealous, you understand they are good frds, but somehow, you feel annoyed. I dont think you should keep the annoyance to yourself, cos from my experience, this "bug" will stay in your mind for long... they are frds, and this annoying situation will happen from time to time.
I'd cut her....kinda.
she should know better, but then it's really his responsibility to talk with her and let her know it's not okay. unfortunately, sometimes guys encourage this kind of behavior; but a decent guy would not if he is in a relationship with another person.
so talk to him about it. hopefully he'll be understanding and talk with her about it.
@imochi@xanga - excuse me, but you have the cutest profile pic ever! =)
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - yeah you're right..there are some girls who really don't have a clue they are infringing.
I call my ex babe-cakes still. His current doesn't seem to have an issue with it... but then again, he and I are really close, and it's been a year since we've broke up now..
I use to call my current boyfriend Muffin.. his ex never seemed to mind it.. then again, once I started calling him Muffin, everyone did.
I think you just need to take a moment and chill.. nicknames and pet names happen...
..cheesecake is a horrible petname.
Just like there's Man Law, there's also Woman Law...and that woman COULD be trifling with that Law. The ONLY exception to a woman calling another woman's man by pet names and telling him that "she loves him" is if she and him have been close friends for a LONG time. The fact that they are saying "I love you" to each other bothers me a little more then the names. Ask him about it. If it turns out that they are just old, good friends, I wouldn't sweat it at all. If not.....I would have a stern talk with him about boundaries...and let him know how this whole situation makes you feel with out attacking him about it.
@abcxunt@xanga - That's what I thought...
well i see both side here. i call my guy friends 'sugar' but thats really the extent of it.. and in all fairness im pretty sure all my guy friends are single.. with very few exceptions. and if i DO say 'sugar' to a guy FRIEND i dont put it somewhere where it cold hurt or upset a girlfriend, because to some it can be disrespectful. but when i say it, its totally platonic.
Start calling him Cheesecake too! Hehe.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - Agreed.
@youngvan@xanga - LOL. Or better yet, start calling HER cheesecake. See how she feels about that!
Wow. You took the words out of my mouth. This was one of my peeves when I started dating my boyfriend. There was this girl he had met in class.. they had the same majors so they were in all the same classes. & they were by no means close.. they literally met a month after we started dating, 3 months before we were officially in a relationship. She'd IM him call him "Sammy-poo" or "Pooh Bear" I can't remember exactly what it was but it wasn't the kind of name you'd give a friend. & they weren't exactly close. Anyway, we ended up having a huge fight over this 'cause I pointed this out & said I wasn't ok with it & asked him why he let her call him "Sammy" when he wasn't a fan of that nickname. He wouldn't even let ME call him that!
Anyway, my sixth sense also kicked in & I told him straight out that this girl had a crush on him & he should be careful. The boyfriend didn't believe me & a month later, this girl confesses it to him on his birthday. Thank God I had a smart boyfriend.. He had been distancing himself from her since & that was the last straw. He cut her out of his life.. though she did resurface a year later...
I think you have every right to be annoyed at the name calling.. & the love remark, for that matter. Don't keep it to yourself & fume about it quietly.. it'll only make things worse. Bring this to your boyfriend's attention. Tell him this makes you uncomfortable but perhaps it's because you don't understand & ask him to explain to you the story behind it so that you can comprehend. Hopefully your boyfriend is "smart" on this topic & will understand that this behavior is unacceptable & talk to the girl about how he doesn't like it. Notice I said how he doesn't like it.. not how you don't like it. The choice of wording is crucial! If he worded it the other way, the girl will think he doesn't mind & that it's the girlfriend that's pressuring him & perhaps use this as a wedge to break you two up.
*note: I don't mean to offend boys reading this by stating if the boyfriend is "smart" .. not all boys are that dense & I know that.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - Perfect. Agreed.
I'd be pissed. You need to mark your territory and let her know he's yours.
i think it's really inappropriate for girls to be telling someone else's boyfriend "I love you" on a regular basis; if you're adding on cutesy pet names on top that, it's just plain rude.
me and one of my ex's have pet names for each other, but they're not cute or mushy at all. i call him "Old & Grey" and he calls me "Stinky". nicknames like that are a bit more normal LOL
Ooohh, no no no no.
He'd better not dare do this.
Or any girl.
Thats a no-go.
Calling each other pet names belongs into one's past relationship/s and should be ended as soon as there is a new SO.