Thursday, 29 January 2009

• Why Men and Women Don't Understand Each Other

  I made a pulse about how feelings are different from emotions, and apparently there were some people who wanted me to expound upon this, so I guess I'll give you all my take on how they differ. There could be some who see things differently, and if you do, please comment and leave your view. I love looking at things from different perspectives. From dictionary.com:
  

  Feeling - A sentiment, attitude, opinion
  Emotion - Any strong agitation of the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear, etc., and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes, as increased heartbeat or respiration, and often overt manifestation, as crying or shaking

  The common impulses in your brain that react to outside stimuli can be seen as "sentiments". What your brain/body does with these sentiments is distinguish them into two categories, feelings and emotions. These two are very vital, and not realizing the difference between the two is the common ground where men and women most often disagree. Men are the spokespeople for feelings, whereas women are all about emotions. The problem with this is that most men and women alike don't understand this concept. Grasping this concept can help slowly unravel the universal question of why we don't always understand each other.
  

  Feelings are just that: sentiments that you feel. The reason that last sentence is important because the emphasis in that sentence is "you". Feelings are your own thoughts and opinions about something that has happened or something/someone interacting with you. I can look at someone I don't like and say I feel disdain, anger, or uneasiness.
  

  When this person looks at me, if I have a good poker face, this person has no idea what I feel about them. When I grab my bowling ball and head to the alley, I feel excitement, happiness, and peacefulness. However, would someone who passes me on the way be able to see this? Of course not. Men are most often in tune with their feelings. We may never admit it openly, because we're men, but it's a known fact. When someting happens to a loved one, we feel sadness. Our faces may tell you that we're doing just fine, but inside of us, that sentiment of sadness is being felt throughout our core.

  Emotions differ from feelings because emotions can be seen. The emphasis in this sentence, if you haven't guessed it, is "seen". Ever heard a guy say, "Dude, that girl is too emotional for me"? You're more apt to hear that instead of "She has too many feelings". When a woman is angry about something, what does she do? She slams things a little more loudly, she breathes a little harder, and if you ask her if she's okay, she responds, "I'm fine". Now, any man with any kind of sense knows that if a woman says "fine", she's everything but that. But that's another subject.
  

  If a woman is happy, she smiles, she has a bounce in her step, she has extra energy to do normal tasks. All these visible actions are what emotions consist of. Men say women are too emotional because they cry, they yell, they smile, they show what they are feeling. See the difference right there?

  So now that the obvious difference is shown, what can you do with this? Well, for one, women...the statement "you don't care about my feelings!" is not as valid as you may think. How can a guy not care about something he can't see? If you want to tell him that he doesn't care about your emotions, by all means, go ahead. However, if you're with this guy, it's very possible that he does in fact care about your emotions, he just doesn't know how to take his feelings and turn them into emotions.
  

  Men, what you have to realize is that women care about actions...that's to say, read emotions. You can tell a woman that you love her, but unless you show it, it doesn't have as much weight. Men are not wired to show emotions. It doesn't mean that they can't; it just means they don't know how. Guys...women are not wired to understand this concept. 
  

  It's a give and take type thing: Guys, it doesn't make you weak to go out and show a girl that you love her. Even if it's something as simple as holding her close and letting her hear your heartbeats align into one beat. Something like that is showing emotion. Women, you know that guy loves you. Yeah, he may watch TV instead of cuddling, but it's because he thinks as long as he tells you that he loves you, all is okay. Talk to him, let him know how he can show you that he loves you. Guys, when they talk...turn off the TVand listen. It'll make a world of difference... 

  • 5:11 PM
  • 8579 Views
  • 34 eProps
  • 17 Comments