Thursday, 29 January 2009
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I Have A BF But I've Been Dreaming about Someone Else
Lately I've been having dreams about a coworker. He's pretty attractive, but we don't interact outside of a few minutes at lunch.
These dreams are not sexual, although in one, we did almost kiss. They are generally about discovering feelings for each other and sneaking around to get close. I don't know what these dreams mean, but I like how I feel after I wake up from one.
I have a boyfriend and we've been dating for a year and four months. I haven't seen him recently, though, and the last time we were intimate was the new year. I'll see him again in about two weeks. We've been having little fights over the phone lately and I feel so disconnected from him. I wonder if that has anything to do with these new dreams about another guy.
What's the deal?
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- From: TheIrishPhoenix@xanga
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 1975 Comments: 0 34 View all posts by TheIrishPhoenix@xanga
Comments (34)
Well, it's very possible you actually love the coworker.
Or maybe you're just feeling lonely, and you're starting to look towards others for comfort, when in reality, all you want is to see your boyfriend more.
If you love your boyfriend, you should try to talk to him more, and figure out why you guys keep on arguing.
If not... well, you don't have to stay with him.
As long as you don't act out your dreams by sneaking around on your boyfriend, it should work out.
Wish I could be more help, though.
Dreams are just our minds working while our body is resting. So subconsciously, I think you're attracted to this other guy and at the same time miss your bf. Your mind is mingling the two together, that's all. There's nothing wrong with that.
I often have random dreams about male friends and being in a romatic situation with them, but that doesn't go outside of the dreamworld. Your subconcious maybe highlighting the possibility of you fancying your co-worker, but more than likely, it highlights you want to feel the closeness and love from someone- and I'm guessing it's for your boyfriend. See how you feel when you see him. Good luck. :)
He may be attracted to you and visiting you in your dreams. It's quite a trick, but some people are very skilled at it. You concentrate on an image of the person or even just something they've had in their possion just before sleeping and you go to sleep imagining what they might be doing at the same time. If the visualization is very good and the circumstances just right (preferably the target will be sleeping as well), it works astonishingly well.
Either that, or you're just subconciously attracted to him or just looking for an alternative to your present relationship because it is less than satisfactory.
It sounds almost like you are drifting... unsure of what you want maybe?? Maybe you need to take some time to figure out what you want or need and are not getting... It sounds like you and the BF do not see very much of each other, which could be part of it as you see the co-worker everyday. Sometimes absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it may just make it drift farther apart. Time to do a relationship check.
I dont think dreams mean too much, but they can tap into something you were thinking about before you went to bed, something you arent over, or in your case a new interest.
BTW, Your in a relationship, not dead. Its ok to be attracted to other people and you cant control your dreams.Its when you want to take action on those dreams that it becomes an issue.What you have with your boyfriend is very real. You might want to get into a perspective of Why you two are fighting and If you are with him for the right reasons. Evaluate your relationship with him, talk to him about whats going on if you value your relationship. Accept that if you dont fix things with your bf that you are likely to end up single and without either guy, because if you actually care for the guy, and realize too late. . He may not take you back. This guy just sounds like a crush to me
Dreams aren't literal, silly.
stay strong
@Purple_Harlequin@xanga - Haha, nice.
It's true; your dream is likely not about your coworker per se, but more about you feeling disconnected from your bf and you not seeing him for a while. Unless, of course, you know that you like your coworker romantically...
And yeah, it's normal to feel attracted to someone else while you're in a relationship. Don't sweat it.
@Ampbreia@xanga - you should hang out with my MIL, she goes on about that stuff too much.
@Sirius_Fan_Girl@xanga - I can agree with you on this one. I have been dreaming about old boyfriends and playing the "What if..." game lately, and I love how I feel thinking that life might be different.
My guy has been working nonstop, so I feel lonely ALL the time, no exaggeration. He's even avoided getting sick with me and the baby that's how far away he stays. And maybe that's really why I dream outside of the house?
The little fights with your SO are probably due to frustration that you can't see him. Trust me, I know exactly what it's like. You're frustrated, and you end up penting that frustration on your SO. As for the dreams, you can't control those, and they could just be from a sense of lonliness or something along those lines. I say wait until you see your SO again, and see if the fights and dreams stop.
Well, I guess this is a question of why do we dream anyway?
Your recent little fights probably do have something to do with this new guy entering your thoughts. I have found that sometimes, when my boyfriend and I fight a lot, I start noticing new guys around me. Yeah, I know, it sounds pretty horrible of me. The point is though, that I realized that the reason I would be doing this is because I was wondering if I would be happier with some other guy. The truth for me, though, is that I had no way of knowing, but chances are I would not be happy.
And chances are, that you don't really love this co-worker if you have barely talked to him..
Distance and small fights causing a disconnect between you and your boyfriend...I think that may be the cause.
I've had dreams about certain guys before that I've had absolutely no feelings for, and though I did feel very awkward about it, it carried no meaning for me and I just shrugged it off. You may not have feelings for this coworker, you might just be conflicted because he's closer to you right now than your boyfriend is.
cheat.
and get it out of your system.
we all live only once.
I agree with what a lot of the others have said, I think you just miss your bf and your lonely.
Don't act on the dream, if you value your relationship with your bf.
Maybe you are secretly crushing on your co-worker?
Froidian slip?
you're feeling lonely and neglected, even detached from your bf and the little fights are really just you wanting him to WAKE UP and notice that you need some quality time or at least SHOW you that he loves you. He's busy; we all get like that and that's understandable, and he prob. thinks that since you've been dating a long time, he doesn't have to worry about losing you (not intentionally but it happens). PLUS having a good looking coworker doesn't exactly help. HOWEVER dreaming about someone else that is attractive is NOTHING.
I used to dream about this guy that I saw on the train to work; we've never spoken, we've just seen each other almost every morning for 9 months (total of 3 stops in between) and i had a boyfriend then. But really, it's just you thinking about somebody good looking... we all think the grass is greener on the other side... nothing much more than that.TELL YOUR BF that you're feeling THESE FEELINGS. He's not psychic, he's not going to get an idea that you're not feeling loved lately (although it may not be his fault) and that you need to feel wanted. Don't tell him about the dreams (obviously) because he'll just get defensive or hurt. Whatever, dreaming about celebs, hot guy next door or even your coworker doesn't mean much other than... YOU NEED SOME LOOOOVE! :D
Yeah, it's your boyfriend and you fighting that is causing these slips. Take it from me, stick it out. Keep with the long term boyfriend.
You are a terrible person.
Why can't morons like you just stay lonely for the rest of your life.
Dreaming does not usually reflect reality. Stay strong with your man. :)
when i started dating my bf, i had dreams about my ex, or other guys i liked previously. not sure what that means but i just pretend it didn't happen?
only happened once with the different guys.. lol
but does it actually mean anything?
well i think a lot of the dreams could be due to you not seeing your bf. You may just feel lonely and need attention. My husband is currently in Iraq, and we don't EVER fight now that he isn't here, but I have had one dream like this.