Tuesday, 27 January 2009
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Friendly Breakups Are Actually Possible!
This revelation was shocking to me.So my boyfriend of three months and I finally sat down tonight to talk about our relationship.
We both saw it coming. We just butted heads on too many important topics (fundamental values/beliefs/etc.), although we got along well otherwise.
But yeah, I basically laid out my feelings to him, and it shocked me that ... he didn't freak out. He didn't suddenly start insulting me and calling me names, he didn't suddenly cut off contact with me, and all the other stupid things guys have done to me in the past. (Not that I was perfect with my previous boyfriends, but I never stooped that low. Name-calling, insulting, and ending things in a cowardly way are complete no-no's in my book.)
He just agreed that it was the best thing to do, and that he's glad we ended it when we should have.
We gave each other a hug and a kiss and that was that.So yeah.
I feel very liberated and at peace. We both kept laughing at how peaceful the whole thing was, like ... "Shouldn't someone be screaming or something right now?"
I just wish everyone could be as lucky as this when they have breakups.
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- From: mini_mayfield@xanga
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Comments (42)
i'm about to break up with my boyfriend of about a month... i hope it goes this smoothly, although somehow i doubt it...
Yeah, you both probably weren't really together tbh
uhm..you guys seem more like friends who got together to just get together..lol
when relationships are deep,
they end with cuts.
I have a few "peaceful" and "friendly" break ups as well. I think it all depends on how the person choose to handle it and/or if both parties feel the same way.
That's the way breakups should, but unfortunately rarely, happen. Thanks for sharing. The guy acted with class and maturity.
Who knows? Maybe after you left he shot himself.
I just went through something like this not even two days ago. We were together a little less than a year but had just been growing apart within the past couple months. It was the most peaceful break-up I've ever had, although I was pretty upset about having to make that decision.
I think it just depends on the people and where the relationship stands. When one person wants to end it & the other doesn't, then I think it can get kind of ugly.
aw yes, a peaceful break-up.
Could mean somthing will happen in the future.
i am friends with most of my ex's and i very rarely have a bad break up
the good ones always end with screaming
i agree that it depends on the people! My previous break ups were much more emotionally-friendly than my most recent. Blah!
wow.. im glad thats possible.. gives me hope!!
my break up started off peaceful... but now its like were at each others throat.. well hes at mine. and im just trying to understand what happened?
but again... gives me hope =]
Yup.. my last two break ups were very peaceful. I think as long as both people have the maturity level then there's really no reason for them to go haywire. I think it depends more on the people than the relationship.
That's because you guys were only together for three months. Try three years, and see if it ends this gracefully.
Good for you!
All 4 of my past relationships are friendly break ups. My most recent one was a little harder to deal with, but in the end, we're still great friends. But it's awesome that I'm not only one who doesn't find it weird to be friends directly after breaking up!
@Sweeping__Insensitivity@xanga - My recent one was over 3 years and though it was a little rough to handle, I ended up fine and me and my ex are still friends (best friends at that). It's possible.
It kind of sounds like you guys were friends that ended up getting together but just weren't that into each other. Still, congratulations, it's always nice when something like that doesn't have to be stressful.
LMAO!!!! oh man. I JUST blogged about this.
Me and the ex just broke up and it was the most mature breakup i have ever been through. and the funny thing is, after the break up part, we just kept on talking about the things that happened to us during that day.
If I hadnt just gone through it myself, I wouldnt believe it. lol
thats nice, but then again, your relationship really didn't sound that deep if you could just end it like that...
plus 3 months isn't really all that long.
I agree with the others, three months isn't long. But at the same time, friendly breakups are certainly possible, it just requires two very logical and not over-emotional people. When you start investing a lot into a relationship, that's when breaking up really hurts, no matter how long that relationship lasted.
my last relationship ended almost the exact same way. I guess we're very lucky people
my last breakup was pretty friendly as well, but I think part of it had to do w/ it being only about 4 months due to her moving away. We both tried long distance but we each agree we both can't be fully happy doing that, so we split up amicably.
Our relationship wasn't long enough for me to get too close to her, which probably helped make the break-up easy. I doubt that would have been the case had I gone out with her for a year or more. My past breakups w/ girls I dated for more than a year were um, a tad more complicated to say the least haha.
Seems like a mature way to end it.
it really depends on the circumstances as well...
Friendly breakups are definitely possible.. but it depends on a lot of factors. It depends on how invested you two were in the relationship, how long/deep the relationship became, & how mature both parties are...
When the boyfriend & I broke up for a few months last year, it was a pretty "mature" break-up. We didn't fight it or scream.. sure, there were tears & it was sad. We did have to cut off all contact for a month because neither one of us were ready to talk to each other as just friends due to how serious we were in the relationship. This was also a while back seeing as we're now together again. lol. That's a story for another day. But one thing I do find very important in any relationship is the maturity level.. it makes everything go smoother. :)