Tuesday, 27 January 2009
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How Can I Ask If He Has A GF Without Scaring Him?
I recently met this guy who's about four years older than I am. I'm falling for him so fast; he's adorable with this great personality.Over the past week, we've met up three times, usually to play tennis, go for a swim or relax in the spat together. I've even been up to his apartment and mingled for about two hours. I haven't asked him if he's single or not, but I'm guessing he does have a girlfriend from calls he's gotten from a female.
I don't want to ask him out of the blue if he has a girlfriend because he might think I'm creepy and going after him.
He and I have even lay in bed together cuddling (with no sexual intentions). We've also exchanged kisses - but just a peck on the lips - and I backed away after that because of my thoughts of his having a girlfriend.
How can I ask him if he has a GF without scaring him away?
ed's note: I've seen too many teen comedies/sitcoms to think that Phone Girl could be anyone but his sister . . . right?!
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- From: Whiskers
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Comments (65)
Just ask him? >.> That's usually what I do....or I find out through facebook if the person has one...
He better not have a gf if he's pecking you on the lips and cuddling with you! That's a no-no! He must be into you if you're hanging out that much and getting so close. Why don't you just ask him? You can do it in a joking way, like I dunno, "So... are there any other girls you hang out with a lot... exclusively?" or something.
@serendipity3m@xanga - i agree with you. but you had better ask and do it now. it is not creepy to ask and it should not scare him away if he does not have one. but you have done a lot and things should be made clear. ask.
if you guys are hanging out this much, maybe you two should clear up what his intentions are. if hes snuggling with you and giving you little kisses..? its not weird to ask him if he has a girlfriend if he's spending so much time with you and sending you these messages. Dont freak out at him about it, just keep it casual when you bring it up.
I think what's been said is correct. I mean, if he's kissing you on the mouth and cuddling... he definitely SHOULD NOT have a girlfriend anyway, and you should ask him outright. It's well within your rights, especially if you think he's receiving phonecalls from women who you don't suspect to be his family. You need to know if he's playing you, or some other girl.
Just come out with it. It's hard, but it always turns out best.
what the freak are you doing all those things with him if you suspect he has a gf? what the freak is HE doing too?
Just say it.
Just ask him. He shouldnt be giving you pecks or cuddling with you if he DOES have a girlfriend, and if it turns out he does, I'd run far away from him. He could always do the same to you in return if he dated you!
Just ask. And I agree w/everyone else--if he does have a gf, that's pretty messed up considering you guys are kissing (even if they are just "pecks") and cuddling...
I really just want to agree with above and move on, but I'll think about it for a sec... no... I'm just going to agree with the rest. Just ask him. If you're thinking about backhand asking him by saying something like "was that your gf?" or "does your gf mind us hanging out so much?", I wouldn't. Just be straight up. And if he does have a gf... you probably should back off, he shouldn't have having his cake and eating yours too!
if he pecked you on the lips and lay in bed with you, my guess would be that he doesn't. Otherwise, he's leading you on.
@serendipity3m@xanga - agreed!
just be honest, "is that chick on the phone your girlfriend?"
it's easy just say something like
"Don't you wanna spend time with your girlfriend?"
"I don't have a girlfriend."
"Ohhh I thought you did. I thought you mentioned her or something. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else."
BAM! done and done!
I had this trick pulled on me.
ahaha
I highly doubt he has a girlfriend is he is doing all that with you. And if he does have a girlfreid, he's not worth it. Not at all. Because he obciuosly doesn't respect his girlfriend enough not to cheat on her. Because that essentially what he is doing. Is cheating on her, with you. It may not seem like it, because there are no 'sexual intentions' or because the kisses are just pecks. They are still kisses. Just be straight up and ask. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
You should just ask him. Or you could mention it in a casual conversation like "How long have you and your girlfriend been together?" and see how he responds. The facebook option is also good if you don't want to straight up confront him about it.
@GiantUnicorn@xanga - I like your way of doing it! >.<
@xXEclipsedSunXx@xanga - yeah it happened to me a few weeks ago with this guy at work. Then after, he asked if I had a girlfriend cuz "some people are into that"
hahaha
@GiantUnicorn@xanga - Lol. Nice. Haha That sounds like it would have been amusing to be involved in. :P
@xXEclipsedSunXx@xanga - I guess. The guy asks me the most random questions. Like he's a walking survey. It's pretty interesting. haha
@GiantUnicorn@xanga - Lol. I would bet. :P
just ask him.
If he is pecking you on the cheek, cuddling and doing all that stuff then if he does have a gf he is the world biggest jerk. Cuz men who do that can't stay committed to relationships and don't respect them.
...
"do you have a girlfriend?"
um... ask him. straight out. trust me it won't creep him out, you're worrying too much. the guy will only think of it as you saying "i'm interested."
if he does, please leave him alone. you're better off without him if he kisses you and cuddles with you in bed while having a gf....
next time this female calls just be like oh.. your girlfriend or something. in a semi-joking around flirting kind of way