Sunday, 25 January 2009
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Does Your Ex's Opinion Affect Who You Date Next?
This question was submitted by mindfulbeauty.Let's say you're still friends with your ex. Would you date a person your ex openly - and vehemently - disliked? Would all those things your ex told you about him or her make you more interested in dating that person?
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- From: mindfulbeauty@xanga
- About Me: im human....
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Comments (38)
my ex has absolutely no say in my life or dating..friends or no friends you really don't know what intentions he has now.
Uh, once they're your ex, they're just like any other relationship. If it's on good terms and you're friends, I would respect their opinion based on that. If you're not on good terms, it wouldn't matter to me...
I would probably think twice about dating someone any friend hated.
My ex didn't like my current boyfriend. Guess who won that battle.
But then again, I was never really friends with my ex in the first place.
Depends on how my ex got to be my ex.
@SerenaDante@xanga - Yup... that's important.
I would say that I would otherwise tread lightly in starting a relationship with that person....
Your ex is your ex. But after 'X' comes 'Y'.
So it depends on the relationship with the ex.
If you're still good friends with your ex then I would take what they say into consideration. But if they don't like you, who's to say they are telling you the truth about this new person you like?
I think it would depend on the relationship I had with the ex. Until I got married, I was really close to a guy I dated in college for about nine months. We were just better as friends and I took his opinions very seriously because I knew he wouldn't tell me something just out of spite.
But...I've also had other ex's who were just idiots and are ex's for a good reason!!
it depends on the relationship with the ex afterwards. but i'd their opinion a chance and see if what she says is true
Ex or not, friend or not, I would consider the opinion of someone whose judgment I trusted. I have some really close friends who, as wonderful as they are, don't give great relationship advice. And I have some friends who aren't as close, but who for some reason have a really great eye and clear head when it comes to these things.
ur x has NO say.....
one ex of mine is now my friend and hes not sure bout the guy im dating now cauze this guy im dating now him and me been dating off and on and my ex dosnt think its a good idea he just dosnt wnt me hurt again and just be careful and stuff.......
He's an ex. Should I care? If he and I were still friends, I'd take his advice like I would take any other friend's advice; I'm not going to treat what he says with any special attention unless he does happen to know the next guy well (which is unlikely to happen--it would be better to avoid dating within the same group). In the end, it's MY decision. If he disapproves, it's not my problem.
I'll take it into consideration but I would also get to know the guy more before I make any major commitment decisions.
People's opinion can help you make a decision in life. However, in no way anyone's opinion should persuade you to do anything. This is your life. You need to decide what is best for you.
Oh, great topic!
My ex and I are still "friends". This is in quotes because half the time he's mad at me for something and declares that we're "not friends anymore" but then comes crawling back within 72 hours.
I think I do, to a degree, let his opinion affect who I date. However, most of my new potentials he doesn't know. One though, he did know, at least sort of. There was a guy who liked me while I was dating my ex. He was a friend of mine, however, and I didn't like him in that way (obviously, I was dating my ex). Anyway, after my ex and I broke up, this guy asked me to prom (it'd been several months since breaking up with my ex) and I said "what the hell, why not?". So, we went to prom together. My ex has always been super jealous of him and hated his guts even though he doesn't really even know him. I turned down being this guys girlfriend though partially because of what my ex thought, but partially cause I just wasn't sure if I was really into the more-than friends thing with him at the time. We're pretty much best friends now though, but right now, I'm good with that. Sorry, I think that's kind of off topic.
So the simple answer is, yes, to a degree, but not really.
Utimately, NO! You can take your ex's views into considerations but other than that YOU ultimately decide who whether you want to date a person. Hell, it's not as if your ex is the one dating them hah.
I will admit that shortly after breaking up with me, i went after someone i knew my ex hated, just to piss him off.
it worked, whoops.
i haven't talked to him in a good two years.
If I happened to be friends with an ex, I would probably take his opinion into consideration.
Considering the fact that I am not friends with my latest exes, they definitively would have no say in the matter.
My ex's opinion does not matter.
good one... i really dont know...
For one, it'd depend on how we broke up and why. Their general personality, too. For all I know they're trying to get back at me for something while pretending to be my friend.
But ultimately, I believe in making my own mistakes; therefore I wouldn't pay attention to them any more than I would anybody else.
Uh, no. They're an ex for a reason.
When they move to that position, their opinion ceases to count.
Unless, of course, you actually care for your ex. Or like them.
@MirroredReality@xanga - Exactly.