A lot of times it happens. You just have to forget it, but I always remember it later, and it does make it less likely I'll do things like that in the future (and why would I if it was unappreciated?)

i cancelled a work meeting i was supposed to have so i could spend time with my boyfriend and he got drunk the night before and ended up being so hungover the next day that he didn't feel up to doing anything.

but... we actually fought about it a little and in the end we both said sorry. if someone ever does something nice for me and i've already eaten, or something to that extent, i'll suck it up and eat some more. if you put that kind of time into something to make someone else happy, you really deserve happiness yourself and i can't imagine putting someone down for doing that.

Re: recovery, I think it depends on how and to what extent it backfired, and to whom you made the gesture.

If it's someone close, like an SO, and it backfired really badly, AND you guys communicate well, it probably would be good to talk about it, like why you made the gesture, what you were expecting in response, and ask what you could do next time to change it. I mean, maybe the person was just having a bad day, unrelated to anything you did.

But I find sometimes that when gestures backfire, they backfire because of lack of communication and, tied into that, a lack of knowledge of how the other person will react. So in that case, you may want to let it go OR really step it up and force some communication (and maybe some hard truths) on that person. OR, like I said, maybe the person was just having a bad day.

Let me put it this way: if I'm having a great day (even if I haven't, actually), if my SO brought me breakfast and I had already eaten, I would have thanked him and gave him a hug, told him how sweet that was, but that unfortunately I had already eaten. Then I'd invite him to sit down with me so we could eat it together (with him eating most of it, of course).

Sorry my answer sounds so cryptic - it's just a really broad question. Hope it helps!

Oh yeah, I've always done nice things for my ex but I've never really felt appreciated for it. His loss. I can find someone else who'll appreciate me better.

Seriously, I don't think there are that many nice guys like you anymore! Gosh, whoever this girl is, she should consider herself lucky.

I used to have a bf (now an ex) that never appreciated nice gestures.  I would do little things for him all the time and go out of my way to make sure that he was happy.  It was never good enough though.  Like when he worked nights he usually would have to make his own food when he got home from work.  I wanted to be nice so I made meals ahead of time one Sunday so that way he could have a nice home cooked meal when he got outta work that he could just reheat.  Instead of being greatful he bitched about how I should just get up an hour before he got home and cook a meal to be ready for him (I worked days during the time and didn't have to be up for hours, & had issues with sleep as it was).  I should have known then that he was a bad egg then.  Years have passed and my current bf appreciates me greatly.  I always make him a nice breakfast on the weekends, and every time he gets so excited and thanks me, even though it happens every weekend.  I think that if you find the right person to do the gestrue for, then they'll appreciate it.

look at it from her perspective...you have no clue if something else was going on, something stressful or upsetting from work or family, friend, etc. 

this is a minor incident--don't take it too much to heart, man.  yes, any nice gesture should be appreciated in some form, but acting like you're entitled...ehh.  i don't give to receive--but appreciation and anything more from the recipient, i view it as a bonus, not requirement to my actions.

wow in this instance she seems like a BITCH no lie.! I mean granted she just aint the least she can do is to say thank you.! I love food so even if i just ate and i am full i will say thank you and wrap the food up, or i will eat a bit just to show my appreciation. I have had many nice gestures backfire on me, but now when i think about these gestures i realize that it was always done for those who never really deserved it.

The best way to recover is to move on. Yeah it sucks that it didnt work out, but base on her response she doesnt really deserve such a good gesture to begin with

Dang, that's not cool. Instead of reacting that way she should have at least said thanks. I mean, since she ate already, she could have shared it with you or something. It wouldn't have hurt her to eat a little more.

Most of the time when things backfire, you just have to brush it off and move on. Because time and time again, things will undoubtedly backfire. Whether it's all a mix up, one of the people wasn't nice (like in your situation), etc. Most of the time things go right, but there's still a good amount of the time that things have the ability to screw up. All that can be done is just.. move on. What good does it do to be upset about it?

If I got a reaction like the one she gave you, I'd be pretty pissed, and reply, "Fine, I'll eat it then." It was kind of rude for her not to even say thank you.

I'm sure there must be something I did that backfired, but obviously it must've not been important since I already forgot about it. Don't sweat it, just move on.

I used to go to a coffee shop about two times a week for a good latte before work.  I'd always pick up a doughnut and some chocolate milk for my guy, just to be nice.  He had told me these were his favorite things.  One day my guy just tripped out and said, "Stop bringing me this shit, I don't like it."

Yeah.  I pretty much cried the rest of the day.

Men, learn to graciously accept a gift.

When you don't, it's seriously killer.

I've had plenty of nice gestures backfire.  Most of them involve way too independent women getting into a huge fuss because I did something nice because it was the gentlemanly thing to do. 

Like my friend with spina bifida.  Like if we are going somewhere I ask if she needs her wheelchair and she says something along the lines of "I can do it myself", yes except that I'm twice your size so a short walk to me would wear you out. I'm just trying to look out for you. *sigh*

No good deed goes unpunished.  I keep telling guys that chivalry is a waste of time, and you clearly demonstrated my case.  I'm trying to warn you guys to stop doing this kind of stuff, and yet I get hate mail for it.