Saturday, 24 January 2009
-
Why Flirt If You're Not Interested?
This is a guest blog submitted by a Datingish reader.Why do guys flirt shamelessly with girls when they're not interested at all? I had an experience with this a few days ago. I spent time with a guy who I originally thought was the biggest pain in the rear end on the planet. But after spending a weekend with him, I've seen what a smart and amazing guy he really is.
He flirted with me the ENTIRE weekend. Followed me around, teased me, poked me, the whole nine yards. On the car ride home, he told me that he was just a flirt - it was who he was - but he never got any girls (he's lamented this several times in my presence).
So now I'm stumped - guys want girls and flirt with all of them even though they apparently don't like them.
So two questions, really... 1.) WHY? and 2.) Is it ever possible to date a shameless flirt? If so, HOW?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (55)
Natural flirt.
in my experience, those guys are usually the most needy and insecure - flirting is their way of getting attention from girls.
but other guy might just like to make a girl smile - flirting can be a compliment, although sometimes misinterpreted.
Because its fun? I never take flirting too seriously, I've been guilty of doing it shamelessly myself and I don't even realize it lol.
Flirting is fun. It is. I like meeting people. I like talking to people. I like flirting. I like making people smile and blush (well, girls). It's usually not a problem because they're not interested. So I guess I'm allowed to. If that means anything. Otherwise I suppose it'd be leading them on... or not really, because I might actually date them, so then it wouldn't be... Hmmm... maybe I only think of it as shameless flirting because the girls are so far out of my league it can't possibly be serious...
@cookiegirl@xanga - i'd have to agree.
even as a girl... i enjoy flirting every once in awhile not because i'm interested, but because a) the conversation can be fun and b) i will shamefully admit, it's a little bit of a confidence/self-esteem boost.
I am a natural flirt and I love it. Most girls enjoy it too. I think by flirting initially, but eventually showing a lack of interest, builds really good friendships. I consider myself a good friend and love listening to problems and giving advice, and most of my female friends come to me for advice because we got so close when I "shamelessly" flirted with them.
My girlfriend knows I'm a flirt, but because I love her, I control myself. I don't flirt as much (we just recently got together) and she also trusts me that she's the only one for me... which is very true. Wouldn't change her for anyone!
Flirting is fun, and it's always good to practice.
Haha. I am a shameless flirt. And although I have a lot of difficulty maintaining relationships, I'm currently trying to at the moment. I'd like to see what happens as much as you do. ;P
a) girls do it just as much as guys do.
b) i wouldn't necessarily take his comment in the car ride at face value--sounds to me like he's trying to pique your curiosity.
When guys flirt, like if they are actually really flirting with you, they are somehow somewhat interested in you, whether it is the good way, eg, wants a relationship, or the bad way, eg sex.
Or maybe he was just trying to flirt with whoever and whatever, to see if he can actually get a girl (assuming he never did.) So he's just trying, and practicing, and hoping he's not so horrible that no one is interested in him.
Oh and btw, agreeing with some other fellow xangans, girls flirt just as much, whether we notice it or not.
Sometimes girls flirt without knowing they're actually flirting, eg, smiling, laughing.
Sometimes girls flirt with others not to get with the guys, rather just trying to have be friendly and have a new friend, which of course in this way would mislead the guy, and other people.
flirting is fun. um, it's probably hard to date a flirt if you have jealousy issues.
Because it's fun.
just because it's fun and they want to get close to some girls. the sucky part is when a girl actually falls for it and her heartbreaks after she finds out.
Flirting is fun. I'm sure everyone likes it when they're being flirted with. It gives them a sense of confidence.
@Agent_Spanky@xanga - I agree with you. Thats how I feel. Im a flirt... it feels good to flirt and be flirted with... boosts confidence everywhere!!
I've always wondered why people flirt for no apparent reason because I sadly fell for it every time! So I tried to flirt with no emotional attachments involved and it was actually fun! I only do it with flirts though so there's no expectations from both sides. =]
You ask the same about girls as well. Some people just get carried away. Some just to want to build up confidence and then dropkick it like a wrestler. Others just . . . do it to maybe get some action for the night. I only flirt with people I am interested in. I'm not a person who try to lead people on, nor do I like people who do the leading on.
Flirting can be fun, but I'd rather do it with someone when there is a mutual interest, even if it's a tiny bit. If I'm already close friends with the guy, then I could probably do it for fun.
i always believed that flirting was a way usually to make themselves feel confident. shameless flirting with friends is fun. even if you're far from interested in a person, it's fun as a confidence boost.
Flirting is all about life... both are bout action and reaction. They always have been and always will be. Besides, it's harmless... no? I guess it just depends on who's involved. I flirt like I breathe, it's just natural. Some people take it with more meaning and.... well, oops. To each, their own, right?
Flirting is fun and controllable. I think everyone is natural flirt. lol
I have girl friends that are like that too. Even if they have a boyfriend or are not interested at all in the guy they shamelessly will flirt.Â
Girls do it too.....
People just do.
ive realzied a couple weeks ago that im a
natural flirt. and i hate it. everytime i would
talk to one of my guy friends more, i would
flirt, and then they would end up asking me
out when i dont like them. i feel bad because
i give them the wrong idea. i feel like a bad
person when i do it.
[i was going to say another word that started
with a b but i decided against it, lol]
i like flirting with people- it just kind of comes naturally when you're comfortable, and it's fun. I think it's very possible to date a "shameless flirt" so long as they make you their number 1 and all the rest of their flirting is just harmless.