Friday, 23 January 2009

• Understanding Women

  This is a guest blog submitted by DearRicky.

  One of the main reasons I want to walk again is because I want to cook with my potential future mother-in-law.  It was always a lifelong dream of mine to impress her…

  It's actually kind of romantic when you think about it, and not in a mothers I'd like to, uh...fool around with sort of way, but more in a way where she might be one of those neglected housewives hoping for her husband to pay a little more attention to her womanly needs; as her needs are unmet, she still hopes for her daughter to have all of those dreams that never came true.

  That's what drives my desire to show her that romance does exist and that househusbands are not just from her "silly" dreams.  I mean, other than washing dishes, I'm willing to do everything else, including laundry. We could make the gourmet stuff from Saturday afternoon cooking shows, like garlic butter shrimp gratin with sliced mushrooms, pan-fried seafood mousse dumplings, lobster bisque and definitely some of mom's Chinese dishes. Also, hotpot is a must in the wintertime where you have a huge platter of assorted meats and vegetables and you cook them yourself in a pot of boiling water in the middle of the table. Scrumptious!

  I suppose what I really want is to have the opportunity to touch her heart a little. As a woman, my future mother-in-law wants her daughter to have someone who loves her and her family and not only for the sake of it.

  There is, however, an underlying reason why I have such desires and it all has to do with my fascination with women, my desire to find ways to understand her completely. I think a lot about it sometimes, how there are some things only a woman could understand, like the deep inner feelings on issues such as hysterectomies and menopause and I keep thinking there has to be a way to overcome the boundaries of gender.

  Perhaps it's much too idealistic on my part, but I find it difficult to accept that one human heart cannot reach another. I do think that understanding a woman has a great deal to do with your willingness to put yourself in her shoes…not that I'd want to have a baby because I know where it's coming out!
  

  And you know that moment when she's all comfy and cozy in her pajamas and all she wants to do is have a little innocent fun playing board games or watching a good chick flick?  While he's trying to give her that look of horniness, she pretends not to notice at first but because she loves him, she ends up giving in at the end anyway.

  I can't help but wonder how she might feel at that very moment. Does it make her feel as if she's a piece of meat to him? Does it compromise her feelings of being special? Or am I thinking too much for my own good again?

  Regardless, I believe one of the ways to a woman's heart is to allow yourself to find her innocence instead of only seeing her as someone to romance and share a moment of physical pleasure with because there is so much more.  It's about being her best friend, and if ever I'm in such a situation where all she wants is to watch a good romantic comedy, I would steal all her Kleenex and I'd pick the movie as well, haha.

  But innocence is such an important aspect of a woman and as much as I hate to mention it, rape is a subject that brings another sense of understanding to my eyes. There was a documentary I wanted to watch once about the sex slave trade, and even when I wanted to be informed of what's happening to a lot of young girls, I couldn't. I guess I'm not courageous enough to see the pain in their eyes because I've seen it once before and I don't want to see it again.

  The thing is that when a woman is violated, a part of her is taken away. I don't think it has much to do with the physical experience, but more to do with her right of giving herself being abused or even destroyed. It's her innocence - it's even deeper than that - and it's something I'm still trying to figure out, which is why if you look into her eyes, you will see something broken and yet it's something you just cannot seem to pinpoint.

  Her right to give herself, whether it is her heart or her sex, is one of the many things that explains why a woman's love is sacred. In some ways, I often think the part during a wedding ceremony where he unveils her face behind the veil is perhaps a chauvinistic way of implying that a woman is a prize to be won, a gift you're supposed to unwrap, but in a less cynical way...maybe it's something different. Maybe it's a way of appreciating her for everything she is, in that she really is a gift and whichever person that wins her heart is indeed the luckiest man alive.

  I think that's why I can't bring myself to resent anyone who wouldn't give me a chance at romancing her heart.  I have to know my place and accept the fact that she wants and needs someone who could offer something more.

  Then again, I do have my dreams and I want a lot of things, actually. I want to laugh and cry with her and gently brush her hair away from her pretty eyes.  I want to lay next to her in bed simply looking into those pretty eyes until sunrise and slowly unwrap her heart in pillow talk conversations to discover her for all that she is.  I want to watch her sleep and wake her whispering "sleepyhead" in her ear and make her breakfast in bed with all the good, greasy junk...

  All I need now is an intellectually down-to-earth supermodel girl of my dreams with a busted kneecap and the same blood type as mine in need of a new kidney who used to be fat.  Maybe she might love me?

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