Wednesday, 21 January 2009
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What's The Purpose of Sex?
This is a guest blog submitted by SerenaDante.
I am a promiscuous person. I talk about sex a lot. I think about sex a lot. Almost my entire blog is about sex. And many people don't like this. I have been told more than once that I should refrain from speaking "so explicitly". To me, this is the same as saying, "Stop being so comfortable talking about sex. Be awkward about it. That's better."
Recently, I was discussing sex in general with an acquaintance of mine. She said she is a virgin, so I jokingly asked her if she has ever thought about what her first time would be like and if she was worried about being uncomfortable. She first told me that she thought I needed to be careful about what I said, because I might offend someone.
And then she said, "I'm not really worried. I know I'll be married by that time, so it'll be fine. Besides, it doesn't really matter how much it hurts as long as I get pregnant. I mean, that's the only really important purpose of sex - to procreate."
It took me a second to process this.
First, I really don't think it should be offensive to discuss something natural in life. Discussing sex, to me, is about the same as discussing air. Both are naturally occurring things, and neither should be regarded as improper or dirty.
Second, and more importantly… the only purpose of sex is procreation? WHAT? What happened to pleasure or comfort or LOVE? Hello! 21st century calling…we are no longer nomads traveling the earth in search of food. We no longer need to fear extinction - and actually, that fear ended about 10,000 years ago with the Neolithic Revolution. We no longer need to have children only to make sure that our species survives.
I believe that the purpose of sex is certainly NOT only to make babies. I believe that the purpose of sex is to pleasure people, to bring couples comfort, and most importantly, to allow one to demonstrate his/her love of his/her significant other in the most meaningful and powerful way.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
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About the Author
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- From: SerenaDante@xanga
- Name: Smaranda
- About Me: Nympho atheist.
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Comments (476)
BABIES! :D Some people get a bit out of hand and become some rageing baby machines!
"I believe that the purpose of sex is to pleasure people, to bring couples comfort, and most importantly, to allow one to demonstrate his/her love of his/her significant other in the most meaningful and powerful way."
But sex can only do so much, it's more of a temporary pleasure because all things fade with age and if your whole relationship is built on having "great sex" what do you have after that? I mean yeah it's alright if it's like on special occasions but not for "stress relief," cause' then it can get a bit dangerous if you know what I mean *wink with the right eye*
To be honest though I think modern day society is to blame a bit for this. With the lack of sex education and lack of knowledge about sex people recieve these days it's really hard to distinguish sex that is done for the sake of love and sex that is done because you felt like it. Now I myself am starting to wonder where you draw the line between love and lust when it comes to sex...
Thanks for making me think! :]
I agree, especially about the last piece.
It really annoys me when people can't handle the topic about sex. Can we all mature please? We all have reproductive organs, learned it in the fifth grade, lets move on.
I have a lot of friends who are very sexually verbally. Basically, they talk about sex like you do, and sometimes in a very descriptive way. It doesn't bother me, I say sexual things every so often as well. Except when I'm trying to be serious and they keep making sex jokes.
ejaculation.
"What is the purpose of sex?"
To me? Fun, love and romance. Eventually babies, but definitely not the main purpose.
I think the original purpose of sex was to make babies, but now many people like it for pleasure. *random fact* Humans and dolphins are the only animals in the world that have sex for pleasure.
I <3 sex. No babies though please.
right on.
p.s. there's nothing offensive about what you asked your friend.
No good comes from making a taboo out of something natural and normal.
children are the purpose of sex. that's it. anything else is unnecessary. love can be shown in ways other than sex. fun can happen without sex. pleasure can come from things other than sex.
I have to agree with you. I am a virgin, however, I believe sex is a
way of demonstrating and showing your love/affection for someone in a
physical form ((and of course making babies, haha)). I may not talk so
openly about sex as you may, but being a virgin may have something to do with that XD. I'm not uncomfortable with the topic, though.
But really, in the end,
it's what someone as a individual makes of it. If someone uses sex only to make babies, well then there you go, there is the purpose of sex for them. Other people may use it for more comfort/physical show of affection/etc.
@girl_lost_in_the_dark@xanga - what about dogs?
@College_Ruled11X85@xanga - Really? So when you get married and have as many children as you want, you'll no longer have sex with your husband?
Agree with almost everything. One thing though is that just because something is natural doesn't mean everyone should be comfortable discussing it or seeing it. Nudity for example. It would be nice if they weren't offended or sqeamish about it but that's just reality. Sometimes we just respect other's wishes even when we don't agree or understand them so long as it doesn't harm anything. But that being said your blog is your own. If at is REALLY explicit just rate it as such or tag it with NSFW. Or they can just choose not to read it. In person the best they can do is let you know it makes them uncomfortable and ask to talk about something else.
That question is, in my opinion, even more important than answering " what is the reason for being".
I probably don't know the "correct" answer to this but I will give what I've got.
Sex does not have A SINGLE purpose, it has many purposes to it:
Pleasure
Pro-Creation
Healing
Consumation
Whatever-personal-symbolism-you've-attributed-to-it
While sex is natural it also holds a certain amout of sacred-ness to it which, in my opinion, gives the experience the honor of being spoken in an appropriate setting.
That's about all I have to say on the matter without giving you an entire essay.
P.S. Props to your girlfriend for having the self discipline to save herself. Think she's a little screwy in the head about sex, but that will probably change once she gets a good lay from her hubby.
ur friend is an idiot and i feel sorry for the guy who dates her
@College_Ruled11X85@xanga - you say that as fact, but why? Serena gave examples of other ways it is beneficial. What reasons do you have to restrict it? Just because a pillow is meant to rest your head on doesn't mean it's not enjoyable to hit your bf in the face with it
all of the above!
&& to show off some rad skills.
8]
oh ho ho ho
I believe the purpose of sex is to unify two people and to procreate.
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - im not saying it cant be done for other reason, im just stating it's purpose. that's what the question asked.
@SerenaDante@xanga - lol, im only stating the purpose of sex. im not saying it shouldnt be done otherwise or that it isnt enjoyable just for fun. im just stating why it was created. that's all. reread the question guys...
@College_Ruled11X85@xanga - Then you didn't read anything besides the question, because the point of this blog was to say that children are NOT the only purpose of sex.
And you never answered my other question.
The primary purpose of sex is to have children. The reason it's pleasant is to trick the unawares into having babies, muahahahaha. XD But anyways. Sure, I definitely think it should be used as an expression of love and devotion and comfort, though the whole reason it exists is to procreate, so I'm on both sides on this one. :)
@College_Ruled11X85@xanga - Yes, why it was created. But in our modern society, that is no longer it's sole purpose.
I wrote the question lol.
sex is taboo because it's private. just because it's normal doesn't make it your information whether or not i have sex, does it? just because it happens naturally does not make it okay for you to come up to me and ask me questions of a sexual nature. if i want to talk about it, i would...no need for you to ask though. God bless!!
"Besides, it doesn't really matter how much it hurts as long as I get
pregnant. I mean, that's the only really important purpose of sex - to
procreate."
I seriously almost spit out my drink when I read that. Or, well, I would've if I had a drink. As it is my jaw dropped. Seriously, huh?
But then, speaking from a girls-only POV, I suppose I'm at a very different perspective.
~Rachel