This is a guest blog submitted by SABRiiNUh_x3.
I'm Sabrina, I'm 14, and I have a problem.
The guys at my school have this competition going on: it's called "see who can get Sabrina in bed first". None of them have succeeded because I know about the bet and guys never try to get to know me - they just try to use me for sex. I'm a virgin but I'm not sure if I want to stay that way.
I have this new boyfriend that I really like, but I don't know if he really likes me or if it's just one big act to get me to have sex with him. I know if I do it and it's just part of the competition, I'll be crushed. But if it's sincere and he really likes me, I want to do it.
Help.
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Comments (258)
make him wait. that's how you'll know, for sure.
boys that age aren't very patient. unless he's sincere, he won't wait for too long if this is just for a bet.
well... is he among the group of guys that you are mentioning about... but if you are not comfortable with him... I would suggest you don't
wait it out. dont feel pressured to have sex... especially at the age of 14!!!! you'll regret it later if you dont wait for the "right" guy to give your virginity too. and these boys are too immature to get "serious" with anyways.
You're only 14? Calm down, take your time. There is no need to be having sex so soon. I know you've heard that before, but the longer you wait the better. Anyway, I wouldn't have sex with ANYONE if I knew there was some type of bet going around. You're worth more than that.
Hold out for a bit. Tell your new bf that you want to wait. If he gets testy about it, then he's really just for the sex. If he understands and is not pushy, then he does care about you. Guys can be assholes, but don't let that narrow your mind to think that we all are. There are genuine nice guys out there and if you want to find one, you can find the strength to wait. It is really up to you whether or not you want to no longer be a virgin. But be sure that you do for the right reasons so you don't get hurt in the end.
you;re 14!!!...how old is he? you're not even legal yet. make him wait, but you better wait too!!
Stay with him for a while (like a year at least) to be sure he's thinking with the right head when he's with you. Boys are way too horny around that age so you just never know.
p.s. Maybe I'm just old fashion, but I think 14 is too young to have sex, even with someone that loves you and you love back. There's a lot of responsibility that comes with that act. Trust me, it's worth the wait.
Don't. 14 is too young to start anyway. Sex has been known to cause babies. If you're not ready to support a baby or a reputation or an adult-level commitment, you should avoid it. If he loves you'll, he'll understand and stick around. If not, he's soon show what he's really made of.
You're only 14. You don't need to be having sex so soon.
Wait for the right guy to come along.. And make sure you're actually ready.
Don't let other people pressure you into doing something you don't want to do or you're not sure you want to do.
@Fairywife@xanga - i totally agree with you!
listen to this woman and dont go running off at 14 and having sex just beacuse you think you need to.
If you're having doubts, regardless of how small, WAIT. Trust me please. Waiting is the best way. Its the only way to see if he's sincere about taking that step with you. Sex is a big deal, even when people say its not, it is. Value your virginity. Don't give it away just to get crushed in the end. If he's sincere, he'll still be with you when you're fully ready for it.
Please dont! you will regret it, i PROMISE! its so overrated, and before you know it you won't even want it anymore.
all jokes aside, don't rush!! Pleaseeee!
Just wait. Cuz once you start, you will never want to stop :)
yeah make him wait... after a a year then see wassup 14 is really young
You are 14. That means sex is NOT no big deal. You should date this kid for quite a while until you decide if he's worth it or not. If you're feeling pressured, don't do it. You have every right to be wary.
Did I mention you're 14?
You're fourteen. Seriously--no sex yet, please. It complicates everything.
Hmm, if he REALLY likes you, and I mean REALLY, he WOULD wait. It may seem like a "No guy would" type of thing, but if it's close to love, then he would. I don't mean should either, I really do mean would!
Maybe I'm new-fashioned, but I don't think 14 is too young to have sex. I may be biased because I did it at that age, but I was with someone I genuinely loved, and don't regret anything because I was so sure. But I don't think you should just give it away willy-nilly, you have to really be where you want to be first.
And fairywife is right! You shouldn't have sex when theres a bet going on, you'll just be paranoid and feel foolish!
And, all these people telling you 14 is too young. Well, they are wrong. I first had sex when I was 14. You just can not have a mature relationship when you are 14. So, you shouldn't consumate a mature relationship. Theres plenty of time later in life for all that boring stuff
I agree with the above comments: make him wait. No matter what he says - because people will say ANYTHING to get what they want - actions speak louder than words.
The best way to see if a person is with you just for the physical intimacy is to wait a looooong time. Also, trust your gut - if you feel uncomfortable about having sex with a guy who may be doing this because of a bet, your discomfort probably won't go away once you have sex with him. In fact, you'll probably feel even more vulnerable.
Also, yeah, your age is also a factor...wait! Don't feel pressured to have sex. You have so much time ahead of you for something that complicated.
How long have you known your bf?
Regardless if it was before or during the betting season, I would be cautious.
You're only 14. What's the rush about losing your virginity to some guy you may not even be with next year? I say take it slow and see where it goes from there. You're still at the age where you want to explore and experience. But sleeping and giving up your virginity should be with someone special and at an older age when you can actually take responsibility for your actions. I don't think at 14, you would find that person just yet or am ready to give it up.
Not only that but,
You also have to think outside the box. What if you get pregnant? Become a teen mom? Will he also take responsibility for his actions? If he don't, can you live with him denying it and call you unwanted names? Can you raise a child and be willing to give your life for it?
Sex is just not about doing the deed with that person. Or losing your virginity. It's so much more than sleeping with someone you like. It can make you or break you. I don't think you understand that just yet.
i made my high school boyfriend wait over a year and a half before we had sex for the first time. it wasn't like i planned it that way, but the fact that he was willing to wait until i was really ready made me sure that he cared about me enough to share that with him.
the fact that you aren't completely confident that he's really there for you and not for the bet makes me think you should keep waiting until you're positive about him and more importantly- you're ready. you don't have to have sex with him just because he likes you. you can't take it back once it's happened, don't forget that. make sure you love him enough that even if things don't work out with him in the end, you can look back on it happily.
Don't. You can end up pregnant, hurt, and your life can go downhill from there.
If you really want to see if he cares, make him wait. Simple.
As previous have mentioned already, WAIT WAIT WAIT!
AAAAAAAAH! My sister is 14! *buries head in the sand*
Have your first time with someone you're sure you're in love with. You really don't need to rush. Sex complicates everything.
Wow school is really messed up now. Wait... 14 is too young. You will most likely regret it if you do it now.