Miss Seal My friend was on a first date, and she and her suitor were passing by the Virgin Megastore. "I guess this is a good time to tell you that I'm a virgin," said the boy.
It wasn't a good time.
The first thing my next door neighbor ever said to me was, "working on your slut muscles, eh?" (I had just come from the gym, and I guess he was referring to the elliptical machine?).
The second thing he said to me was that his girlfriend took away his dignity, and that one of his friends had to hold his hair back as he cried and threw up. (Lindsay Lohan, is that you in the body of an eighteen year-old male?)
I like dating people, not robots. I do appreciate it when guys show a little vulnerability, but there is such a thing as revealing too much too soon.
Case in point: V-boy. Case in point: slut muscles.
How do you feel about people (male or female) revealing very personal things early on in the relationship? Have you ever done it? How did you subsequently feel; how did your SO react?
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Comments (35)
I'm pretty cool about TMI, since I'm usually the one giving it lol. There's really nothing you could say to me that I'd be like, "STOP I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYMORE." Maybe jokingly, but if it was a serious situation, like the boy virgin thing, I think I wouldn't... Your second situation doesn't exactly sound like it was too serious though, so I'd probably have been like "Please no more" there...
it's okay, when done gently, and in context, or with a good bit of humor.
Still, it needs to be done with a light touch, and not all tacky, like virgin guy... poor guy...
The guy who still has his virginity, I see nothing wrong with it. So he's a virgin, so what? That's not going to change wether he's a good person or not.
With your neighbor saying that first comment, that was a little too strong. Was that really the first time he talked to you? If it was, that's just rude.
I keep my mouth shut. If they want to know about me, then they should ask me. No if, ands or buts about it, lol.
The first one is weird. It's almost like he's hinting that he wants to have a sexual relationship with her, he just doesn't know how to do it properly....since he's a virgin.
Your neighbor is weird too. "slut muscles" is only a term I would use with my close friends (that I knew were sexually active). In any other situation it almost seems like an insult.... I wonder how you managed to get into a conversation about his dignity stealing ex-gf. I would bet that she didn't steal it, and that he gave it away. Either way he's still weird....
I don't really believe in telling people my whole life story 5 minutes after I met them, but I try my best to not be fake. I feel you can learn more about me from my personality then my history. Little, funny stories are always best. Don't talk about your sex life (or lack thereof), don't talk about other people's "slut muscles" and for the love of everything holy, don't talk about your ex when your not drunk lol.
Take it slow
Don't make it boring though
Im pretty much an open book. If you wanna know something personal just ask. What that boy said, there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. So hes a virgin.. good for him!! Maybe he was telling her because he ISN'T ready for a sexual relationship and wants her to know that now instead of later in case that is something she does want. I don't think that was TMI. I think he was just trying to be upfront and honest.
It sounds to me like he was just really embarrassed and unsure of how to open the topic, and made an attempt to open it in a funny manner. OK, so he might have failed, but it shows that he was trying to be honest and casual about it. Give the guy another chance.
@NrCaSurferChic@xanga - Yep I am the same way, an open book. Ask and you will get an answer. Whether you like it is another thing all together. Lol.
I'm pretty open and blunt when it comes to things like that.
If there's a good context for the information, sure, it can make sense. Virgin Megastore + one's virginal status = not good context. With a good buildup, you can talk about one's virginity within ten minutes of meeting someone.
And that next door neighbor seems borderline misanthropic crazy. (based more on his second comment than his first)
I would want to know upfront if a guy is a virgin or not. It does make a difference in the way you approach them sexually. The whole neighbor thing does sound really weird though.
slut muscles ... hahahaha.
I'm good with TMI. Its not a big deal. I've always been a listener anyway, so I don't get weirded out when people tell me too much. But I think the virginity thing, I WOULD like to know in the beginning. Its better to be open and honest about that in the beginning rather then finding out something later and realizing you're not really interested.
Your neighbor is a creep. rotfl
Considering there are a number of people that sleep with their dates around the third date, I don't see the big deal in revealing your virginity on the first date.
If people can't get personal without you feeling uncomfortable then maybe you should be around them.
Life is too short for you to get your personal act togther and figure out if you might want to be around someone or not.
They were being therselves and letting you know something.
Be yourself. If you can't hack it leave, otherwise embrace and grow.
LOL at V-Boy. That took guts, but on the first date? Wow. Awkward! And slut muscles? That's just downright rude!
I'd be very awkward if someone revealed something too soon. I'd literally cringe.
And so I've never done that. I tend to keep things to myself until I have to tell them
My husband and I shared a lot of personal stuff before we even started dating. We'd been talking for 3 months or so and used to play a variation of "20 Questions" in our conversations.
I'm a very open person though and have no problem telling people things.
I personally like it because it means that they trust you fully. I do my best to keep it on the DL until a good time comes up or I'm asked.
that's some hilarious shit!
I think telling someone you first meet that you are a virgin, whether it be a girl or a boy there has a negative conotation to it. Personally, I have told a guy I first met and spent the day with that I was a virgin. He asked me why I told him that, and I really didn't know. Thinking before you speak is the inititative. Some people get nervous when physical contact gets heavy, and they will pull the Vcard out and place it on the table. Which in turn, might make the other person think twice before sleeping with them. I think it is a safety net.
My current boyfriend and I talked about pretty intense stuff from the get-go (i.e. my sexual assault, his divorce and time in Iraq in the Marines). I usually don't get that into personal stuff too early, though. It was an exception with him because we were just on the smae wavelength or something.
There's only so much that can be revealed in a relationship, especially a budding one, before it turns into too much. Not just that but there is also so far you can go into about your past relationships and what not before it becomes too much too soon. I don't necessarily want to know right away who my boyfriend lost his virginity to nor do I want to know who first gave him head. That's too presumptive. This guy also happens to have a tendency towards rudeness. I don't know if he was trying to be funny, but he wasn't funny. Maybe that's his way of trying to pick up girls, but he sounds like a turn off in general and I don't mean by looks necessarily either.
Personally I've always had an open book policy. If you want to know, ask and I'll tell you but if you don't want to know, DON'T ASK! The second guy was just rude and should be blown off in every way possible. Not sure why the first guy would tell you he was a virgin unless he was just trying to say "Hey, I'm not ready for that kind of stuff yet. Hope you can do without." I would appreciate the honesty, but it may have been too early to say something like that!
My husband and I talked for hours the first time he called me (of course I met him from the internet so e-mails were also exchanged between the two of us). I ended up asking him how many girls he had slept with and he learned that I was still a virgin. Though he slept with more girls than I could ever imagine, it didn't threw me off the boat with him. Sure, I called him a male slut but I asked for it, didn't I?
But eh. I pity the poor guy. I think he wanted to let you know instead of you finding out if you two ever got to that stage. I think it was his attempt to make a joke out of it since you two passed "VIRGIN" Megastore. But then again, I would of waited until I'm asked.