Monday, 19 January 2009
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I Like My Best Friend - But So Does My Other Best Friend
This is a guest blog submitted by lets_dance93.
I have a few best friends who I really admire. One is a girl and the other is, of course, a boy. When my girl friend admitted to loving our best guy friend, I was stunned, shocked, but most of all, I was upset.I've liked him for nearly a year, but now I feel like I can't tell her that I like him too . . . she'd think I was stealing hr man. I am ready to tell him that I like him, but she is more shy than I am and won't confess her love to him.
I am tired of waiting around, and most of all, I am sad to see what could happen with me and my guy best friend because of her stubbornness.
What should I do? Confess my feelings or leave him to her?
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About the Author
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- From: lets_dance93@xanga
- Name: Katie
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 0 Views: 0 0 Comments: 0 0 View all posts by lets_dance93@xanga
Comments (43)
let her know, first of all..
I think that comes whether to you care more about your happiness, or your friends, if you really break it down.
Maybe you should see if your best guy friend is flirting with either of you. Ya know, showing signs that he likes either of you.
If he shows that he has feelings for her, then back off, if he shows he has feelings for you, then go for it. If it's not clear or if it's both of you, then go for it anyway!
Tell her first, and tell her you're going to tell him. And then tell him. She definitely deserves to know exactly what's going on... But then, so does he.
@AzumaRyoko@xanga - So what if the boy likes her back? Is she supposed to choose between one friend's happiness over the other? It's not a crime to like someone that someone else likes, even if that person may be your best friend... And in general, her friend should be happy for her.
I'd say tell her first. No matter what, everything will be okay if you just put the truth out there. I know it's scary, but once it's out in the open, everything will work itself out.
Goodluck baby! I hope it all works out for you and your friend!!
@SerenaDante@xanga - I wasn't implying that she shouldn't eventually tell, or actually very quickly tell. I was just saying that I think the main implication in a situation like this is first deciding what you (the person asking the question) wants. Then, you can tell everyone else involved.
I definitely agree that it's not a crime and that her friend should be happy for her too. I'm sorry if I came across in a harsh/wrong way.
Work up to it and tell her, because if she's not going to go for it for some reason, she's depriving you of your chance, and the two of you will ultimately end up him-less. If she's your best friend, she'll understand. Make sure this won't come between the two of you. Figure out whose relationship you value most - or if you value both equally, be sure to talk everything through with her so there are no misunderstandings. Being catty with a best friend is never fun. And to be fair, you'll probably be understanding in relation to her situation, too, right? Good luck =]
Let her know and then both of you together tell him that you like him and then let him decide if he likes either of you.
I think you should talk to her before doing anything. She's let you know that she likes him, and I think you should let her know what your whole place in this ordeal is.
I'm going through the same kind of situation at the moment. My best girl friend likes the same guy I do, who happens to be a good guy friend to the both of us. I know she likes him, but she doesn't know that I like him. I also know that he likes her back, and because I was kind of silent, they actually ended up making out or something this past weekend, so yeah.
Whats done is done. Just so you don't regret anything, I really think you should let your feelings be known to your girl friend first...
All's fair in love and war.
SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. grace, katie WHAT DID YOU DO!
anyways... i think you need to tell her first. it's only right
hoes before bros
Well, I would tell the friend BEFORE she comes on xanga and sees this.
Luckily she's too lazy to come downstairs and turn on her computer. So you have about 24 hours.
Good luck!
I agree with everyone saying that you should tell her first so it doesn't seem like a stab in the back when you tell him.
I know what waiting around feels like. It sucks! And no one wants to be in that situation. Tell her and then tell him, STAT!
It's a tough situation.
If that ever happen to me, honestly, I wouldn't say nothing to her or the guy. Why? BecauseI'm a wimp and I hate drama. I rather just stand by the side and adore him from a distant. Knowing me, eventually, I'll get over it.
BUT this isn't me so..,
Let her know how you feel about your best guy friend too. Talk about it and try to understand one another. Just don't let this "crush" ruin the friendship between the two of you. But if you do go for it or her, I think it'll be extremely weird if the guy liked one of you back knowing that your other best friend also likes him. Such a sticky situation to be in. Just remember that no guy is worth losing a friendship over.
Talk to HER first.
Either way, you need to make sure that you have, at some point felt attracted to him--you need closure, else it can just eat away at you.
Perhaps you can bring it up in a way, like, "Wow, great minds think alike, huh? I liked him too! Ha ha!" Just keep it casual and friendly.
But think carefully beforehand--do you think he likes you? And if he does/doesn't, what's more important: your friendship, or a potential relationship? Choose carefully.
If I were you, I'd tell my best girl friend first because I consider her feelings more than anyone else. Just don't let a guy ruin a great friendship. :)
you should tell her
It's strange that you girls are best friends and she didn't know that you had a crush on the guy. It might be best to let her know that you've also liked this guy for awhile now and it's not because of any type of competition. Try to get a hint from the guy if he likes anybody right now. If he seems interested in your friend, then wish them luck. If he seems interested in you, then go ahead and see what might come of this.
But since it's been awhile, how come he hasn't approached either of you with a liking?
Tell her first. explain that you liked him for how long. if she does understand, ask her if she can let her feelings go for you. If not, then you'll have to throw it away. Is your feelings for a guy really worth losing your best friend? What if he's not interested? It won't be the same. Think wisely and ask yourself if you really want to cross that fine line between friendship and relationship. Once you cross it, you can't cross back. lux
tell the guy first, then when you two are together. Tell her to "suck it bitch, I won". Jk
I would say talk to her first and try to see who the guy actually likes. And try to work it out such that you guys can all be friends. Whether that means having the two (whichever two it is) get together, or no one being together and all you stay close friends.
the same exact thing happened to me not too long ago. it was around october last year. the only difference is that the guy wasn't our best friend. the funny thing is that we liked him at the same EXACT time.
we were talking on the phone, and she started talking about him. she was trying to tell me how she felt about him indirectly, but it didn't work. i knew everything that she was talking about. when she asked how i knew, i told her that i liked him.
this was awkward for both of us, but it worked out after a while.
first of all, you should talk to your friend about everything. explain the fact that you've actually been liking him, and tell her the reason why you didn't tell her in the beginning. i'm sure she'll understand. if she doesn't, and just tells you, "you're just trying to steal my man," just keep trying.
then, when you guys finally work it out, don't tell him how you feel yet. check out the way he acts around you and your friend first. this way, you'd know whether he likes you more than her. if, in case, he's like the guy my friend and i liked, try talking to him about who he likes. the guy my friend and i liked acted as if he liked both of us, but i soon found out that he liked my friend more. when that happened, i didn't tell him to not make everything awkward for everyone else.
How immature...
I seem to repeat myself all the time and can't stress out enough that the key to a relationship or any kind of relationship is COMMUNICATION. You have two very good friends -- stop playing games and tell her how you feel about the guy, too. It's that simple, duh.
Tell her first. She IS one of your best friends, right? If you ended up telling him and you two started dating, she would probably hate you...or at least be very angry that you went behind her back.
Once she knows that you like him and are going to tell him, go tell him. Really, it's up to him who he likes. If he likes you and not her, she can't really do anything about that, and vice versa. "Leaving him to her" doesn't really do anything if he doesn't even have feelings for her.
It reminds me of the time when I was in 2nd grade and one of my best friends and I liked the same boy...we were making Valentine's Day cards and I gave mine to this boy. She was mad at me afterwards, but I was thinking, "Hey, you could've done the same thing. There are no rules here." Needless to say, she got over it. If something happens here, I'm sure either one of you will get over it if you two are really best friends.
hahahaha emily and tanaya i love that you commented this.
I AM SO GLAD I FOUND OUT WHO POSTED THIS and how. thank you god.