Monday, 19 January 2009
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My BF Dumped Me by Never Talking to Me Again
This is a guest blog submitted by eur0peandiva.
I was going out with this guy until a couple of days ago. We'd been together since October but had only made it official just recently. He was the most amazing guy that any girl could dream of - he was always there for me, he would surprise me with flowers, write sweet texts, go out of his way to see me, drive six hours to see me when I went out of state. He'd call me every day, get me presents, hug me, kiss me, hold my hand . . . seriously, he was amazing.
January 11, he slept over my house and left to go to work in the morning. Later, when I woke up, I went on Facebook and noticed that he'd deleted all of our pictures together, then deleted the whole account overall. I called him; he didnt pick up and said he was busy at work. When I confronted him about Facebook, he said he didn't do it. From Sunday until today, I haven't seen him because he was always either busy with work or tired.
The text messages became distant and cold, and on Thursday, he just stopped talking to me compeletely. No texts, no calls, nothing - he wouldn't even respond to me. On Saturday, I called him and left him a voicemail to call me back - he never did.
To this day on, I haven't heard from him, but I was on his ex GF's Facebook (took a lot of digging to find it). They were together for five years; she cheated on him twice and left him for a different guy and was trying to get him back the whole time we were together. They have been hanging out behind my back, and her friends woite on her page that it was amazing how clueless I was. I hope that bitch cheats on him again!
Has anyone been broken up with by "the fadeout"?
Do you think he will ever call me?
Oh, and should I call him and leave him a voicemail to confront him and say I know he's been cheating on me behind my back, or do I let it go?
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- From: eur0peandiva
- Name: eur0peandiva
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Comments (423)
I would totally be mad.. Why do you or how can you leave someone so clueless??
Go on, do your thang. Well, make sure he doesn't have issues first -- talk it out.
I think you should let it go. If a guy can break up w/ you by doing the "fadeout," I don't think he'll really care if you confront him about his cheating ways. Be the bigger person by showing that you don't need a sad little puppy like him who goes crawling back to a girlfriend who has cheated on him more than once.
he should have had the decencey to break up with you face to face...what a douche. You deserve better and honestly I cant help but say if i were in your position, I'd hope she cheated on him again too.
by the way, after seeing your picture...the guys isnt only a douche, he is BLIND. You are BEAUTIFUL!!!
what an IDIOT he is....
let it go. he has in his own way "broken" up with you. and if i were you, i would not want him back, no way no how as this was very disrespectful of you and your relationship. you deserve better treatment and considereation. move forward.
i do find it interesting that you said all the things he did for you...but what did you do for him. how did you treat him?
if it were me. I'd leave a SUPER angry message and tell he just missed out and that he's a fuck up for going back to someone who really treats him like shit. But he deserves it.
then I'd let it go.
but that's just me.
What you should do is be the bigger person and let it go completely.
should do.
I definitely think it's all right to bitch him out in such a situation and tell him you know everything and that he's an ass.
But after that, let it go. The point remains that he's not what you thought he was... he is an ass. You deserve much better.
Not cool. I hate to say it, but he may have been using you to make his ex jealous. Seems like it worked. Either way, show him up by moving on and being awesome for yourself. Leave him in the past where he belongs.
Sweetie, to me it sounds like the guy wasn't worth your time. Just leave it at that, don't try to get him back. I would say don't wish him ill, but that may take ya a while to get past. Best of luck to you!!
I'm sorry this happened to you - you deserve better treatment than that. In cases like this, it's not you, it's definitely HIM! (This is coming from someone who's experienced the same thing. It sucks, I know. But a decent, mature man would never end things like this.) What a loser. And.. I don't think he will call you. Even if he does - IGNORE IT.
I know it may seem hard to not call him and bitch him out, but don't do it. He knows he's an ass! If you must must get it off your chest, send him a SHORT, scathing email and block/delete him immediately after, and go on with your life, knowing that it's much better now since it's free of that immature user!
i agree with everyone else. =)
Besides, a guy like that is not worth it. Even if you did get back together you would always know that he's fully capable of just leaving, without any signs or anything. Thats really not a great way to live life, in fear that he might take off again.
I suggest you slowly move on, and wait for a guy who deserves you to pursue you and treasure you.
being angry and contacting him would only show that you're deeply affected by his fadeout. honestly, anyone would be really hurt by such a thing, but showing it is a different matter. Hey, you're a cool gal, just brush it off instead of going on a rampage and yelling the shit out of him.
It'll just give him another story to tell his friends. "Hey, you know the chick I was double-timing? Well yeah, she called me up, and I swear she sounded like Godzilla..."
Yeah, you get the point.
I say, let it go. Although closure is nice, this guy is obviously not on the same page as you, and is still hung up over an X...
@jchicka@xanga - *nod* right on. My latest blog entry talks about this, check it out. He doesn't define you.
I know exactly how tempting it is to contact him and let him know you know. But really...by not doing anything, you'll have the upper hand. If you contact him, you're leaving the ball in his court, so to speak. You're giving him ammunition to hurt you further. If you just ignore him, he will have no idea what's going on with you. And honestly, NOT knowing is much worse than knowing.
I have no idea if that even made sense. Basically, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt you. Just move on to bigger and better things WITHOUT him. That is the ultimate revenge.
What ever you do, DO NOT contact him. It will get to him eventually if he thinks you do not care.
I am really sorry for the way you have been treated... this has to be the worst way of being dumped because you must feel hopeless. I was dumped once with the words 'I don't love you anymore'.. to my face and that hurt A LOT. but this is just sickening of the male species.
I hope you are ok and learn that he is not worth it, however good he was to you in your relationship.. he was never worth it.
xxx
Considering what a jerk he was and what a slut she is, I don't think you should waste your time on them any more than you already have. I doubt confronting him would make him feel guilty anyway. The power of silence leaves the situation somewhat open for the mind to wonder. You already know what you needed to know, let him wonder and keep the sweet memories of you so you can be the bigger-better person.
Wow, he's a real dense one. I say let it go and forget him. He's not worth it at all!
Best revenge - Not caring.
Sorry about what happened. :/ Good luck.
@Pterota@xanga - Don't worry, it made sense. :D
It's called the "fadeaway." And I sure hope he learned that move from my post. And yeah, you should have totally known something was up. There were more red flags than a...uhh...red flag factory.
coolmonkey@xanga Wow, what the hell.
Dwelling over it only gives him the upper hand. Act like you don't care, like your better off without him cause honestly babe, seems like you are. If he wants to be with some cheating hoe that's his own fucked up perogative. Idiot. I've never even herd of someone doing that. Must not be much of a person at all to do that.
what an asshole!
yeah something similar happened to me, the guy was a douche.
he might call again if that bitch ex cheats on him again (she probably will)
if he does, don't go back to him he's not worth your time (:
I've used it myself to break up with some guys who were way to clingy and emotional. I just could not deal with the emotional fallout. Call me a coward, selfish, whatever and yes I did feel guilty, but who enjoys seeing someone you once loved in pain because of something you did.
I'd say take the high road and maintain what dignity you have left. You are operating from a position of weakness. The best revenge is to act like he wasn't worth the drama. Maybe you can fake it until you believe it yourself.
Sorry though.
nice- the time tested trick still works
i'll be the first to admit i have used that one
the chick smothered my ass too much
he's a pussy.
you're obviously too good for him, so just thank god that you didn't waste five years of your life on him.