Sunday, 18 January 2009
-
Does It Matter How Far A Girl Has Gone?
This is a guest blog submitted by fearless__surveys. I know that many guys give people the impression that all they want is sex, but is that totally true? I'm a virgin and plan on keeping it that way for a while. I haven't done much with guys except making out and the occasional thing right above that level.
Does it honestly matter to guys how far a girl has gone? Because a lot of guys I know give me crap for not doing it. Guys: have you ever been less attracted to a girl because of what has or hasn't done? And if she hasn't gone as far as you would like, would you ignore it and respect her?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: fearless__surveys@xanga
- About Me: I have an unhealthy addiction to surveys... enjoy
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 0 Views: 0 0 Comments: 0 0 View all posts by fearless__surveys@xanga
Comments (90)
i think guys ACT like they want us to be 'experienced' and not prude... but they all scorn the sluts, so...
When I told guys I was a virgin for some of them it seemed like a total turn off and some would stop talking to me. Others respected me for it.
But it I think it made some guys uncomfortable since it seems the norm to be sexually active.
I am not a prude at all, and truly enjoy female companionship, both social and physical. I consider all women to be ladies, and try to treat them accordingly. What they do, or DON'T do, is their business. If we're doing those things together, I am honored that she wants to be with me.
I think in our society today it's not a big deal anymore either way, as long as you don't make a big deal out of it. It just depends on the personality of the guy - if all he wants is sex, then he might be more interested in someone who is equally interested. If he wants a relationship and is more concerned with your personality/traits (as he should be) then he probably will be very happy for you that you're a virgin and want to be a virgin. He'd probably be just as happy if you weren't and didn't regret anything you'd done.
I have tremendous respect for girls who hold out on sex for true love and not fall to the pressure to please the guy she is with just because he's throwing a fuss. This make me like her even more. Don't do things that make you uncomfortable...any guy you like should like you back just the way you are...including your beliefs and principles.
Boys like "ownership" of girls, I think; getting the ones who play hard to get make them feel like they're charming.
@Trigger821@xanga - girls like sex just as much as boys do, you know... sometimes a girl will have sex not because a boy pressures her, but rather because she has just as much of a sexual appetite as he does.
Hmm, I'd say this post overwhelming lends to the answer: depends on the guy. I know guys who feel strongly both ways. Some guys absolutely want a girl who is experienced in the sack, and some guys who want virgins, or innocent girls. What you really want to do is find a guy who's right for you. So being a virgin or being slutty isn't about 'right' or 'wrong', it's about narrowing your pool of men who will be attracted to you. Shooting down the middle and being neither will probably make it 'easiest' to find a guy who's cool with that part of you, but by no means does the whore of omaha or the virgin princess have a lack of men to choose from. Maybe just fewer. And different kinds. And remember, that's just one part of you (and guys for that matter). As long as you're not so far on one extreme or the other for it to be a 'deal-breaker', ie: nun or riddled with STDS, hopefully your man will see past it.
i agree. the thing i always ask myself is why is it they can call us sluts but still try and sleep with us and then if we don't it's; "ok fuck you then i can find someone else." respectable men are really hard to find these days*sigh*
You only go as far as you are comfortable. If the guy can't handle that and needs the full blown sex, then, you might want to tell him to find another guy.
Xo
I personally don't care too much about the whole virgin or not thing. But for most guys it can go either way. It just depends on what they're looking for at the time.
It depends on their upbringing/moral values, etc... If some guy doesn't feel comfortable with being in a relationship with a virgin, it's his loss. Anyone who gives you crap about it should turn down his/her horny-meter.
I think the guy will probably see it as a challenge. But not all guys are the same. It'll always depend on who he is.
When it comes to guys, you can't really win either way. If you've slept around, some will act like you're a prostitute and have been selling it to the highest bidder, while if you haven't done it then you're a prude to some. Just find the right guy and he shouldn't care who you have or haven't been with, because he'll be able to be with you.
Another thing, Christian guys tend to not want you to show cleavage or tempt them. I read this book once called Secrets About Guys [that shouldn't be secret].
I'm not religious. Never been. But I did read this book. It helped me understand guys better. I didn't do it from a religious stand point.
@lonelywanderer2@xanga - totally awesome standpoint!
I admire you for saying that!
tell them all you're only 13. that'll keep them away.
Weird, I just read a blog about a similar topic this morning (Virginity Versus Ignorance).
Every individual holds a different view, I'm sure. In my experience, the men I've dated seem to like the idea of a woman who knows what she likes and isn't afraid to go after.
You can have that mentality and self knowledge without "doing" a whole lot. Go figure yourself out, as odd as that sounds, know what you like and what your boundaries are. Any man who doesn't respect your baoundaries, which are a part of you, in actuality does not respect you and isn't worth your time.
Also, though men like women who aren't afraid to tell them how they want it, they DON'T want to be just another notch on some hootchy mama's belt. They wouldn't go invest in a pair of tires that already had the tread worn off, neither will they invest in a woman of the same nature.
I'm not a guy, but that's how the men I associate with react to women on a general basis (most of whom are decent men).
It all depends on the guys personality and what they look for in a girl...
I would want my guy to be a virgin.
In a swedish magazine I read the results of a opinion poll.... and they only thing that seems to matters (this depends ofcourse on how old you are) is HOW MANY you've slept with..
And girls think that guys preferred if they've slept with less than 3 guys. But guys was okay with up to 5 girls...
But .. I, myself, doesn't think of "sex" as anything to do with just anybody just because you feel like it.
I think you should wait to do it until you find that someone you love. And if a guy get mad at you 'cause not doing it- you shouldn't be with that guy.
But if a guy falls in love with you, he would DEFINITLY prefere if you've NEVER been with anybody else.
I'm not a guy, but I do know what it feels like to be in a serious relationship and know that the person you love has shared that part of themselves with someone else.
Honestly, if you don't save sex for marriage, what do you have to give to your spouse that you haven't given to several other people? There's so much emotional baggage in sleeping around before you're married- not just for you, but also for the person you'll potentially marry.
I know it's how the world is, but, trust me, life is so much better when you don't have to worry about STD's, pregnancy, if you are or aren't better than that person's last partner, and when sex is used as an expression of love rather than lust.
My fiance is extremely happy that I haven't been with anyone else and I look forward to sharing that part of myself with only him.
just my opinion =)
@taliasecrets@xanga - Thank you. It's the way my dad taught me. Glad to meet you.
if a guy really likes a girl it doesn't matter to him... and that's how it is with me and my boyfriend. he asked me out with the impression that i was a virgin, and found out i wasn't, and while he was a little surprised, it didn't change things between us, although he did admit later it led him to expect things to happen a little differently after that point.
however... now, he's told me time and again that if i ever feel uncomfortable and wanted to stop having sex, that'd be okay with him, too.
personally, i think you need to find a guy that respects you for who you are and will date you regardless of what you are and aren't willing to do in the bedroom. there are plenty of wonderful guys out there that don't care if you're a virgin, and are much more concerned with the type of person you are.
and as a side note... if you're planning on staying a virgin until marriage, i think it's only fair that you not criticize if he masturbates, or hold that against him in anyway.
First off, I'm in college. So, virginity is already shunned quite a bit it seems. Then, I work with mostly older guys (with a rare girl or two thrown into the mix) and everytime asked, I tell them the truth. That I'm a virgin. Everytime they seem to call me a liar.
I just find it annoying that when I'm being serious and truthful, they decide they know better and call me a liar.
I mean, I've had plenty of opportunities to change my virgin status. I've chosen not to because I haven't found a guy I'm willing to give myself to yet. I don't think it's right to be called a liar when I have my own values and morals and they're pushed aside and ignored by the males.