Thursday, 15 January 2009
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Absence Does Make The Heart Grow Fonder
This is a guest blog submitted by Adas_Devine.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for about four years (five in July). I've recently started staying at his house for a couple weeks because I'm not currently working; normally, I'd stay the night, then go to work the next morning or stay the weekends.
After staying with him for three weeks (including one week at his sister's house), I decided to go back home. It's been almost a week now, and let me tell you, he broke down and couldn't stand not having me there with him; he wanted me to go back to his place after just three days! I held my ground and told him I'd be back in a week even though usually I'd break down too, ha ha.
We talk every day on MSN and it's been great; he tells me he misses me so much and vice versa, we play online poker together and let each other know how things are going.
My point is, I think being away from him for a while makes me appreciate and love him more. It's not that I didn't appreciate him before, but I believe that our relationship's stronger if we let each other have some time to ourselves. He usually drives me nuts when I'm with him 24/7, but I still love him unconditionally. It makes me realize I have something good going on and I know that our relationship will continue to grow each day.
So, do you think being away from your SO makes you love/miss him more, or is it just me? Any related stories?
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- From: Adas_Devine
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Comments (60)
I'm away from my boyfriend for like 4 months at a time because of college... It definitely makes us want to be together every single possible second we can when we're finally in the same city again, lol...
My boyfriend and I really did have better moments when I wasn't living with him. We love each other and have a good relationship, but I miss the butterflies I used to get when I knew he was coming to see me or we were out on a date. I love living with him, but I do miss some of the old things we used to do. Both situations have their perks and downfalls. But yes, being away from my SO makes me want his company more rather than being with him constantly.
I think that if you truly care for each and love one another then the adage is true. If you do not then it is just a relief.
Yeah, we definitely are more lovey-dovey when we've spent time apart and count down til we're together again... We live in the same building at school, but an hour+ apart when we're on breaks or home for summer, or on vacations or things.
For the most part, i think that is true. Thats how i felt about my ex, we would talk everyday and we really missed each other.
However, after so much absence i have to say that the other old adage is also true: Absence makes the heart go wander. I'm an independent girl and i like my space, but on the flip side.. if you can't make the time to see me, then im going to find a guy that can.
But im really glad that the absence has brought you ladies closer to your guys! Best wishes in your relationships!
Same thing happened to me. I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months and I had spent a few weeks at his place (solid) while I was unemployed. After a while, I felt like I was inconveniencing his family, and that we didn't have much to talk about or do, besides sleep, eat, shower, or have sex.
So I went home, and then not seeing him for a few days REALLY bothered me, even though we talked every day.
in the summer, i was with my bf weeks at a time bc i was jobless. then i would leave for 1 day and he wants me back with him again. now, we both work so we see each other on the weekends only. we miss each other through the week and we never want to part once the weekend is over. but if it was up to him, we'd live together so we can see each other 24/7. but we talk everyday when we're not together and text each other silly and love notes. =]
When I'm on a vacation or having girls night out without my husband, I do miss him. It makes me realized that he plays a big part in my life and I couldn't be any happier without him. :)
I went from living with my bf to LDR practically overnight. It was really, really hard. And I don't feel as close to him now as I did then. I think there's definitely an optimal amount of time to spend together in a relationship. Generally, 2-4 hours every other day is a good amount - sufficient to keep you wanting, but also enough so you don't just feel distant from the other.
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and we go to two different colleges and can only see eachother on weekends when school is in session. It's really hard and tears me up inside a lot, but when we do see eachother we definitely take advantage of every second we're together (they always seem to go by too quickly). For the most part, long distance is a total pain in the ass, but if you truly love the person you're with then it can make you appreciate them all the more, and actually strengthen your relationship and bond.
I've been with my boyfriend for eight months. We work together and are usually only apart on Tuesdays, but I miss him nonetheless. I think that's the beauty of love, though: it doesn't matter how little or how much time you spend together, you'll always miss one another when you're apart.
The classic quote, "distance is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the weak, and enflames the strong" (give or take). I was with my ex for 6 years, on and off long distance. I can't say it made us stronger, but it definitely made reuniting pretty awesome. I guess by the end of it we were so comfortable together or apart, you know? Great to hear you share your story :).
I don't like when my husband is gone...:( but it is good to have time for yourself. 2 years ago when my husband had an accident at work, he was home with me 24/7 for 4 months. It drove me nuts!!! Still loved him and everything, but I couldn't wait to just have time for myself...you need to find the balance that works for the both of you :)
in your case, i agree. but when that absense is extended... circumstances change, your experiences change, and you get accustomed to not having someone else around.
i think short periods of absenses are healthy, but i personally cant handle long durations.I'm in a long distance relationship and I can definitely say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
That's not the case for everybody though. Consider the alternative point - "out of sight, out of mind".
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - me, too. The change was quite sudden!
My SO and I have some sort of contact with each other every day and we are in many of the same classes together this semester, but saying goodbye, even for just a few hours is really hard.
I don't know what I'm going to do when he goes to Boot Camp and I won't even be able to speak to him for weeks at a time.
I can't go one day without hearing his voice. He is the most amazing man ever, and I can't wait to be his wife.
My boyfriend and I have spent more of our relationship on different ends of the state than we have together, and it sure can be painful at times. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is definitely right!
We know it's only going to be for another year or two, and sometimes, remembering that is the only thing that gets me through.
But still, I don't know if I'd necessarily want to turn back time and go to the same college as him. I know that we're both getting the right educations, and we can be together for graduate school (and after...).
And while it hurts, the time physically apart allows us to grow closer in other ways. We're forced to grow emotionally and spiritually, to write letters and talk via miles and miles of wire, and every day makes our foundation stronger.
I go to school in a different town than where my boyfriend lives. I drive to see him every weekend, and sometimes being away from him during the week is what keeps us together.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder, that's actually true. Whenever me and my boyfriend don't talk with each other we both nearly go crazy. haha. :)
I definitely agree. My boyfriend's in the Marines, and during the few times that I can see him I don't let go of him or let him out of my sight. :P
I agree. My bf is from Europe so 2 times a year he goes home and when he comes back it is like we have a whole new relationship...He actually just came back today : )
I'm almost going one year with my boyfriend and I'd have to say I pratically see him every other day! I think there have been 2 rare moments where we went without seeing each other for more than 2 days lol.
Seriously, he lives a minute drive away and I still miss him crazily, the moment I'm not with him.
My boyfriend's in London studying abroad right now. He's gone since September and won't be back until June. We've survived for the last 3-4 months and I'm sure that we're able to make it till the end. It really depends on both sides of the party, if there is effort and it forms a two-way street...then yeah, it's definitely makes the relationship stronger if you both love, respect, trust and communicate with each other.
yeah totally agree with your post! when two ppl are apart they tend to miss/love each other more. so when they finally meet the feeling is perfect.
My boyfriend & I have been together for almost two & a half years. We had met in college & so were able to spend most of our time together. The longest we had been apart was summer break [3 months].. I remember when we'd see each other for the first time after summer break, the reunion was great. It's as if no time had elapsed. Now that we've graduated, we're in a long distance relationship. It is nearing the 6-month mark since I've seen him last. However, I continue to fall a bit more in love with him with each passing day. I cannot wait until next month when he comes to visit! :D
So this isn't just you. :) I totally agree. It's even more amazing that we had broken up for two months & had cut off all contact with each other. Then when we first had lunch together after the break-up, it was as if the break-up never happened. We realized that the relationship was meant to be & got back together. [That's the abridged version of the story.] It's amazing how absence makes the heart grow fonder.. I guess in these instances, you know this will be forever. :)