Monday, 12 January 2009

  • He Said He Misses "My Touch" But Not Me Specifically

    This is a guest blog submitted by CarlyMarx.

    My ex Michael and I had been getting along better as friends for a while, and then over the past week or two, he became really sweet and cute and flirtatious towards me. I was suspicious, of course, so I asked him about it, and after denying it for a few minutes, he said, "Maybe I miss the touch of a cute girl like you and I'm endearing myself to you.  But that's probably just some harebrained theory that conforms to these 'observations' you've made about me."

    I asked if that was or was not the case, and told him how I'd been suspicious of exactly that.

    "I'd say that probably is the case."

    I told him it was working; we flirted and exchanged naughty texts. Haha!

    Then this morning, I woke up to a text from him saying, "Come lay in my bed with me." I did.  It was amazing.  We laid around and messed around and it was awesome and he was really sweet and caring and adorable, and he even talked about how he was going to make breakfast "next time".

    Here's my problem: He only said that he missed my TOUCH.  He didn't say he missed me. So is that all he wants now?

    Knowing him, he wouldn't hook up with someone he didn't care about or have feelings for.  I know he cares about me and has feelings for me, but I don't know if that's just because we used to be together and not because he wants to get back together.

    But then, I mean, he knows how hard our break-up was for me and how much I still wanted him even after the fact.  He wouldn't just mess with me like that.  He wouldn't.  How could he?  That would basically just be his setting out to hurt me, which is something he kind of had to prove he hadn't done before. 

    I don't know what's going on.  I either want to dance around my room or crawl under my bed and cry.

    What's your take? 

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Comments (47)

  • pillowpixies@xanga

    Be cautious, because there's a chance he's not in this for serious reasons. I mean, maybe him saying he misses your touch is his way of saying he misses you; not just for your "touch" but for you. Maybe he's lonely and wants companionship out of you. Or, sadly, he could be playing you.

    The only way you'll know for sure is by talking to him. :/
  • mis5viet@xanga

    men are mysterious in these situation i think you should lay off the physical "touch" for a while and like everyone said STRIAGHT UP and tell him how you feel and tell him that if he doesn't love you or intend to fix your relationship than just tell you how he feels and not treat you like a toy.... play with you when hes bored and put you aside when he finds a new toy MEN needs things to be litterally IN THEIR FACES lol excuses me for the caps but thats how i feel XD
  • miss_triathlete

    In my opinion, messing around with an ex is a bad idea unless you have gotten back together.  The chances of one of you still having feelings for the other is pretty good, and messing around or sleeping together is not going to help that person get over the other.  You can be friends, but NO messing around!
  • XxFireXboltxX@xanga

    Just be careful! He could seriously be missing you and wanting you back.

    But guys don't tend to forget why you "broke up" in the first place. Maybe that's not all guys but the majority of the guys I've known.

    Talk to him...see what he says and see where it's leading.

  • Neowind@xanga

    he meant what he said, he misses your touch.


    I think someone else already said that he's horny... and lust might be the thing that's talking.


    I'm sort of in the situation with this girl myself... I do miss being around her, flirting with her, feeling her touch and just have inimate moments together, but I know deep inside that this relationship would not work... still it's impossible to resist for men, and you women just allow it to happen... 


    sometimes it feels like 2 unstoppable force bonding with each other...  but I'd simply say it's just lust.
  • SupperMick@xanga

    Sometimes it's better to fully understand the risks and possible consequences of the actions you take. You agreed to lay with him, you should be ready for whatever else he will throw at you.



    But that would definitely be gay if he just used you as a booty call.
  • MagnetoX_Onslaught@xanga

    Tell him exactly what you told us, go from there. Honesty is the best
    policy as they say...but especially when the less-honest options are
    inferior.


    Best of luck w that.

  • Kikkyo@xanga

    i've been there before.
    he's just horny and the fact that there's no one else around to cuddle and touch. when a new girl pops up, you'll be outta the picture.
  • hyunj09@xanga

    You never know a person completely. 


    Some guys are wonderful and grow up, unfortunately, only after a break-up.  Some guys are not so wonderful and after a sabbatical, just want to jump into a new relationship because they want "my touch". 


    But you've been in a relationship with him before and you said that he's not one to get involved with someone he doesn't absolutely care about.  What about the first time you guys broke up?  Did he not care about you then?  Is that why he broke up with you?  If that wasn't the reason you guys broke up, then the reason or reasons that you and your ex broke up, are they going to be a problem again this time around?


    Best wishes though!
  • AznShyKitty@xanga

    My ex-boyfriend was like that. We've broken up a day before a big bear trip with his family. Although, he invited me over to his bedroom to watch a movie with him....he'd do the "cutesy touch stuff" with me...like laying close to me or holding my hand and whatnot.

    Only until later, I found out that he doesn't feel "the same way" anymore. Although, I know deep inside him, he still liked me but wouldn't admit it since he's a guy who is too stubborn and cannot handle too much pressure by going to school and having a girlfriend. Complicated story. -.-
  • TacosAndTea@xanga

    @chayswag@xanga - I agree.  I had a similar situation with my ex...and that didn't go to well, at all.

    Find someone else.  It will hurt for a while, but it is better than staying and get hurt all over again.
  • jeezshoua@xanga

    Hm.  I would talk to him before I let anything further go on between us.  Find out what's his real intention.
  • LilMissLauraT@xanga

    You know, I'm having the exact issue with my ex. It's creepy how similar our stories are. They even have the same name.

  • xdropdeadxradx@xanga

    Talk to him about it. Force him to say what's really going on in his head, but here's what I think is happening.


    It seems to me as if he's trying to take advantage of you, playing you, warping your take on reality. Don't let him do it. While you're enjoying his company, you should see if there's anyone else out there you're interested in. Then if anything does happen, at least you can get over him easier.
  • LaBellaMorena

    As an obsessive over-analyzer, I have to point out that he didn't even say he missed "your" touch. He said he "missed the touch of a cute girl like you." Sounds to me like he was feeling lonely and you were available. 


    Why did you break up with him in the first place? Think hard about that before you consider getting back with him. 
    Oh--and talking's good too
  • irishgrrl690@xanga

    @BimBo_HiPPo@xanga - Yah... sounds about right! He's also probably just comfortable with you! It makes sense, but I wouldn't move beyond a physical relationship (or even THINK about it) until you get the FWB thing out of your system.
  • raspberryjade@xanga

    the only thing you can do is talk to him.. because us girls ovethink and we come up with these crazy scenarios in out heads only to find out we're completely wrong, the the answer was simple and could have saved us a lot of grief if we just TALKED about it with them!

    so my advice: talk to him!
  • candyhearts13@xanga

    @poorgreenscreen@xanga - best. advice. EVER.
  • Cuisine

    @poorgreenscreen@xanga - I agree: "dont overanalyze
    dont assume
    just TALK"




    -Cuisine
  • FROING@xanga

    I can kinda relate
    I have this old friend that i'm attracted to but theirs somethings holding me back like she needs to get her life together because she's been going thru some thangs and she also has a douche bag bf that she hates that always plays video games

    I really like her touch and how she makes me feel but since I know she has a bf we don't go that far... and until she gets her life together i'm not sure i want to be with her

    I think your ex is scared of what might happen if he lets you back in his life

  • kor_girl@xanga

    he wants to have the luxury of being flirty and affectionate with someone but wouldn't do it with a stranger, so what's better than an ex that still thinks he's attractive and cute? Who's better than a girl who still reacts to his habits, come-ons and demands? YOU!!
    If the break up was really hard on you two, you shouldn't have flirted with him when he started to. Why wouldn't he mess you up? I'm sure he never had any serious malicious intent but it's convinient, it's easy and it's definitely working on you... If the break up was hard on you, then WHY are you responding to him like this?? WHY are you letting yourself get sucked back into the arms of someone that you JUST gotten over of? Don't do this to yourself, you two are going to end up in some vague state of a friends-with-benefits and then when he gets interested in somebody else that he wants to date seriously with, you'll be out of his sight in a wink. When you confront him about that, he'll say you two are you just friends and you're going to end up resenting him and yourself for the fact that you let him do THIS.  TALK TO HIM STRAIGHT UP OF WHAT IT IS THAT HE WANTS FROM YOU and if he says your TOUCH, then tell him when he became a FRIEND, you has revoked the rights of a BOYFRIEND.You are not a toy!!
  • BlkBoldBeautiful@xanga

    @that_friggan_knitter@xanga - 
    well said. i totally agree.

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