Monday, 12 January 2009
-
He Said He Misses "My Touch" But Not Me Specifically
This is a guest blog submitted by CarlyMarx.My ex Michael and I had been getting along better as friends for a while, and then over the past week or two, he became really sweet and cute and flirtatious towards me. I was suspicious, of course, so I asked him about it, and after denying it for a few minutes, he said, "Maybe I miss the touch of a cute girl like you and I'm endearing myself to you. But that's probably just some harebrained theory that conforms to these 'observations' you've made about me."
I asked if that was or was not the case, and told him how I'd been suspicious of exactly that.
"I'd say that probably is the case."
I told him it was working; we flirted and exchanged naughty texts. Haha!
Then this morning, I woke up to a text from him saying, "Come lay in my bed with me." I did. It was amazing. We laid around and messed around and it was awesome and he was really sweet and caring and adorable, and he even talked about how he was going to make breakfast "next time".
Here's my problem: He only said that he missed my TOUCH. He didn't say he missed me. So is that all he wants now?
Knowing him, he wouldn't hook up with someone he didn't care about or have feelings for. I know he cares about me and has feelings for me, but I don't know if that's just because we used to be together and not because he wants to get back together.
But then, I mean, he knows how hard our break-up was for me and how much I still wanted him even after the fact. He wouldn't just mess with me like that. He wouldn't. How could he? That would basically just be his setting out to hurt me, which is something he kind of had to prove he hadn't done before.
I don't know what's going on. I either want to dance around my room or crawl under my bed and cry.
What's your take?
-
recommend
- recs 2
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: CarlyMarx@xanga
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 2715 Comments: 0 47 View all posts by CarlyMarx@xanga
Comments (47)
talk to him and find out his intentions with you.
ya. agree with above..
but you're not letting him go.
uh oh
Don't fall for it.
I had an ex like that.By the time he told me he had fallen out of love, I was disastrously head-over-heels for him. And our break-up just about killed me (only a slight exaggeration here.). For six months afterwards, he'd call me and play the whole hot-and-bothered game (I was, at the time, a virgin, and totally clueless about what a penis was, or what it did, so I had no clue what I was "doing" to him), and several times he'd tell me that he missed me. Any time we hung out (and that was often, seeing as I had tricked myself into thinking that I could charm him back.), we'd mess around, even when he had a girlfriend. He took total advantage of me, even up until the day that I met my current boyfriend. Once I realized that there are better fish in the sea, I dropped him. It took no effort at all.
Just...don't let him take advantage of you. Just because you're probably craving his touch back doesn't mean you should give in- see if he's still flirtatious and compassionate when you won't mess around with him. If he's willing to leave the physical stuff out for a while, then, hopefully, you can trust his intentions.
But that's just my opinion :)
dont overanalyze
dont assume
just TALK
He's playing you. Yeah you care about him and think he cares about you but you are just setting yourself up to get hurt. Don't do it. If he wanted you back he would say it. Get away from him and get over him.
talk!!! and if he doesn't want to talk his intentions are probably not right and it's not worth it...
As everyone else has said, I think the best thing you can do is talk to him. And, if you really want to find out whether he also misses YOU, don't kiss/play/have sex with him. Basically, don't offer your touch. If he really misses YOU as well, he won't mind terribly. If he gets pissed off that you're not giving him any, explain what's on your mind... and if he's still pissed after that, tell him to go the hell away.
@wolvenchic@xanga - yup.
Guys arn't specific sometimes, don't blow it way out of proportion. If you're so suspisious about it, you're setting yourself up.
Guys are guys, chicks just have to learn how to deal.
i think hes just horny!
He's looking for a warm place to park his penis until he finds someone new. Men aren't complicated creatures. If he wanted all of you, he'd say something. Try to remember why you broke up in the first place.
I hate saying it but we cant always give people the benefit of the doubt.
I agree talk to him to find out his intentions.
I certainly hope he means well.
Since I'm assuming he broke up with you, in all probability, he's falling back on you as a back up because he got rejected by someone else or broke up with someone else. If he is, he's not actively trying to hurt you, he just hasn't thought it through. Exes are an easy rebound. Or maybe he got out of a relationship that wasn't as good as the one you had and he realized what he lost. Whatever it is, there's a reason behind it and you should find out what it is.
Been there: twice actually. Can't say for certain its the same situation but my ex's both were caring and not trying to really screw with me... its a longing for having someone and usually an ex like that is someone your comfortable.
It does *not* mean he wants you back... he might, but don't let it go any further without discussing it with him. I feel like if he did really want to get back together since he broke it off he's say so.
The past is just comfortable... it may just be a transition stage (since being single for a few months is not bad but then you start to miss it).
Talk to him first though before deciding... each guy is different. I'm pretty sure he's not intentionally trying to hurt you though, he probably misses you in one way or another.
@BimBo_HiPPo@xanga - that's the first thing that popped into it head!
Most people end up as FWBs with their exes for a reason. Its comfortable and there trust.
Talk to him about it.
Xo
@that_friggan_knitter@xanga - I agree. caution is needed here. I think she made a mistake hopping into bed with him.
Guys are simple. He has NOT put as much thought into YOU, as you have into HIM. Guys tend to be impulsive and reactionary. Even if he's a 'good guy' and genuinely cares about you, he's not necessarily thinking about YOU and how YOU can get hurt in this situation. Like above, TELL him, you can get hurt in this situation, so he can wake up and take singledom and loneliness like a real person, and not use you as a teddy bear.
You should probably STOP hooking up with him. Now he's just going to feel like he can do as he pleases with you because you want him so badly. It could turn into a situation where he just controls you and you're left being sad and hurt. You should definitely ask him flat out what his intentions are before you continue this kind of activity.
talk to him. he may not be aware of how much you'll be hurt.
I know you probably can't help analyzing but I think it's getting to the point where you're over-analyzing and it's time for you to just ask him to be straight up with you and tell you what he wants from you whether it be to just fool around or to start the relationship over.
Sounds like bad news. One of my exes had the perfect touch. She could make me fall asleep inside of 5 minutes just rubbing my chest, back or stomach. Of course, I would never tell her about this touch nor would I ever tell a future girl about it. It would be misguiding. He should have kept it to himself.
playerrrr.
Sweetie i am going through something similar right now. Talk to him and see where his feelings are. Sometimes men just want to feel our touch again and see our smile so they can feel good again, but they dont want us again they just want to have that one special time again after we break up. Sometimes thats not the case and they lie because they are scared that we may not feel the same way. Just see exactly how he feels...
Likely already said, but I believe you should speak candidly with him and find out what is on his mind, and what his heart says too.
He could miss your touch (physically) and long for that, without wanting to make things complicated by the two of you getting back together exclusively. But there is no way to know this for sure or not, unless you ask.
- Marie
Talk to him :)