This is a guest blog submitted by KasumiCelesta.
Some of you who have read my comments on various blogs might know that I'm currently living in Japan as an exchange student. For one of my classes, each student had to choose an aspect of Japanese society on which to do fieldwork and research. I chose to research host clubs.
A lot of you are probably wondering what a host club is. Basically, it is a place where women can pay for a male company. These Japanese hosts are often good-looking and dressed up in expensive-looking suits. Some of them have hairstyles similar to that of a rock star or a celebrity. In a host club, women buy (very expensive) drinks and are accompanied by these handsome men who cater to their needs and desires, listen to their conversations and even flirt with them. To an extreme, it can reach the point where a host ends up having sex with one of his customers, usually if she is a regular or high-paying customer; these cases aren't too common, but they do happen. (Sex is not an official part of the host's job, and it is his decision whether to do so if he feels it is necessary to keep his customers.) Hosts also have more than one customer, so it's not like a woman will get all of his attention 100% of the time, but when they are together, she is always the focus. For the guys, there are also hostess clubs in Japan. They basically function the same way, but with female hosts catering to male customers.
I know most of you are thinking, "that's horrible," or, "why would anyone pay all that money for champagne and fake love?" There's a lot to host clubs and the women that go to host clubs, which would take a long time to explain. It also has a lot to do with Japanese society and the issues with gender roles and relationships (especially marriages). You can read about some of it on the
Wiki page or message me if you have any other questions, I'd be happy to answer them.
Anyway, as part of my fieldwork I went to a host club in Kabukicho with a female friend who already had prior experience in this area. I walked in, fully aware of how the game works. I always felt confused by girls who would become addicted to host clubs, knowing that they would never or could never date a host, or even know if what he's saying is the truth (it's not always full of blatant lies, believe it or not). A first-time visitor will meet a number of hosts during a one- or two-hour session, and at the end she will choose one of them to be "her" host. The chosen host gets 50% of all sales when that customer returns to the club.
After a two hour night of talking to several hosts, I felt like I couldn't wait to leave.
I'm not exactly fluent when it comes to speaking Japanese and I was really nervous...until I met my final host for the night. He was the only host that I felt fully comfortable with. He was very outgoing and friendly (as hosts should be - looks aren't everything) but what made me choose him was when we found out that we shared a common favorite video game (yeah I'm a dork :P) and how interested he was when I told him that I played bass guitar (he said he wanted me to teach him one day, which is unlikely, but oh well). At the end of the night, he became my designated host. From there, we have been e-mailing each other by cell phone, just making friendly conversation. Of course this "mail business" is how he keeps contact with any of his customers, so it's nothing really special. I found out that he had only been working as a host for ten days and that I was his first designated customer, which made me feel a bit happy (okay, I was squealing in joy for "popping his hosting cherry," as one of my friends put it). But I'm cheering him on to get more customers...because he's not going to get much from me, heh.
I don't intend on going to see him that often at all, because it's very expensive and I don't want to get too personally involved with something that is supposed to be research. But, despite knowing how this game works, I still feel a special bond with my host. I look forward to his e-mails all the time, and it doesn't hurt that he's very good-looking
In the end, it's purely a host-customer relationship. Nothing will come out of it (unless he genuinely likes me or I pay a lot of money, neither of which is likely) and I'm okay with that. Just being able to talk to someone, even if it's in Japanese and by e-mail, makes me feel somewhat comforted. I'm making sure that I go to see him just once more before I return to the United States - not for my own pleasure, but because I honestly think he's a nice person.
So, how do you feel about host clubs based on what I've told you? Would you ever go to a host/hostess club? Do you think that all host-customer relationships - whether they are romantic or just friendly - are "fake"?
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Comments (85)
@Faith14@xanga - How exactly is it stupid to share information that, as you just said, is "awesome and interesting"?
And obviously Japanese people will see the culture differently from foreigners. The point of this post, I believe, is to be informative and ask for the "foreigner" opinion on the matter. I highly doubt she posted this for just comments' sake, but to honestly get an idea of how others think of it. It may even help her research.
Nothing wrong with that.
Wow I thought I saw something where the situation was opposite... Women working the hosts and business men coming in
@tiyuvi@xanga - There's nothing wrong with sharing the information. The problem is it's asking for opinions from people who don't understand the culture. On a topic like host-clubs, lot of their opinions are going to be judgemental and opinions made without knowing the big picture.
I have heard of these in manga. Sounds fun, but not worth it because it's more-than-likely fake.
@Faith14@xanga - Well, I've gotten mixed responses, so obviously it wasn't "stupid" to post this. Some people don't understand because it IS a different culture, but others actually found it interesting and thanked me for teaching them something new. How can it possibly be stupid for me to teach people something? Maybe it's not such a bad idea to keep blog posts limited to a single culture.
@KasumiCelesta@xanga - -_-." I think you guys are missing what I'm trying to say. I'm all for teaching people about another culture. But asking for people's opinion on a topic like this, it's like asking someone what they think of the president when they don't know the president's stance. Maybe I shouldn't have said it was stupid. Just most of the comments I read were negative and condemning about the idea of host-clubs, coming from people who don't understand the culture.
@Faith14@xanga - I understand that asking such a question to someone that may not know about the topic might be a little awkward, but that's exactly why I gave background information, as well as a link to the Wiki page on host clubs :)
I don't care so much about the people who judge and don't bother to read the information I offered. If that's how they feel, then that's fine. Everyone has their opinion. I just wanted to teach people something new. I can't do much about people who are closed-minded and make assumptions.
I don't think it's wrong or pathetic, it's their culture. It's the norm for them, and that's cool.
I'd probably never go to one, but it is interesting to learn about things like that. I'll have to ask my Japanese foreign exchange student friends about them.
I'll stick to relationships with people I know where it's going with. I'd never fully trust a relationship like that, I don't think.
let me be bold enought to say that ALL the people who have passed judgement(good or bad) on this topic without having lived in japan(and thus gained a more deeper understanding of the culture) really have no idea what they are talking about. they can guess, they can hypothesize, but really, it takes personal experience. even those who claim that there are similar things in china, or korea, or the US don't really know what's going on unless they've been there themselves. (i'm korean-american, and while there are some superficial similarities between korea and japan... you're still dealing with two very distinct and separate cultures. so what's going on in korea in terms of the 'host club' scene may be in few or many ways similar.. but definitely not the SAME.)
i just recently came back(to the states) after living in japan for 2
years. i understand the intrigue surrounding host/hostess bars. despite the whole "fake" policy, you are in fact interacting with a real person who reacts to you in their own personal way, reflecting their own unique selves.
you know very well by now how japanese society works in terms of distinguishing between the "public self" separated from one's "true/inner self". this doesn't mean that the public self is necessarily "fake".
likewise, the relationship between a host/hostess and patron.
i think most americans will better understand it if expressed in terms of "Cheers" (yes, the tv show). A local bar regular and bartender. Yeah, the bartender's job is to make money and sell more alcohol, whether it be by chatting up the customer and being agreeable or whatever.. but nonetheless, there's something more than a simple seller/buyer relationship that can and often does evolve.
You know, this is very fascinating.