This is a guest blog submitted by KasumiCelesta.
Some of you who have read my comments on various blogs might know that I'm currently living in Japan as an exchange student. For one of my classes, each student had to choose an aspect of Japanese society on which to do fieldwork and research. I chose to research host clubs.
A lot of you are probably wondering what a host club is. Basically, it is a place where women can pay for a male company. These Japanese hosts are often good-looking and dressed up in expensive-looking suits. Some of them have hairstyles similar to that of a rock star or a celebrity. In a host club, women buy (very expensive) drinks and are accompanied by these handsome men who cater to their needs and desires, listen to their conversations and even flirt with them. To an extreme, it can reach the point where a host ends up having sex with one of his customers, usually if she is a regular or high-paying customer; these cases aren't too common, but they do happen. (Sex is not an official part of the host's job, and it is his decision whether to do so if he feels it is necessary to keep his customers.) Hosts also have more than one customer, so it's not like a woman will get all of his attention 100% of the time, but when they are together, she is always the focus. For the guys, there are also hostess clubs in Japan. They basically function the same way, but with female hosts catering to male customers.
I know most of you are thinking, "that's horrible," or, "why would anyone pay all that money for champagne and fake love?" There's a lot to host clubs and the women that go to host clubs, which would take a long time to explain. It also has a lot to do with Japanese society and the issues with gender roles and relationships (especially marriages). You can read about some of it on the
Wiki page or message me if you have any other questions, I'd be happy to answer them.
Anyway, as part of my fieldwork I went to a host club in Kabukicho with a female friend who already had prior experience in this area. I walked in, fully aware of how the game works. I always felt confused by girls who would become addicted to host clubs, knowing that they would never or could never date a host, or even know if what he's saying is the truth (it's not always full of blatant lies, believe it or not). A first-time visitor will meet a number of hosts during a one- or two-hour session, and at the end she will choose one of them to be "her" host. The chosen host gets 50% of all sales when that customer returns to the club.
After a two hour night of talking to several hosts, I felt like I couldn't wait to leave.
I'm not exactly fluent when it comes to speaking Japanese and I was really nervous...until I met my final host for the night. He was the only host that I felt fully comfortable with. He was very outgoing and friendly (as hosts should be - looks aren't everything) but what made me choose him was when we found out that we shared a common favorite video game (yeah I'm a dork :P) and how interested he was when I told him that I played bass guitar (he said he wanted me to teach him one day, which is unlikely, but oh well). At the end of the night, he became my designated host. From there, we have been e-mailing each other by cell phone, just making friendly conversation. Of course this "mail business" is how he keeps contact with any of his customers, so it's nothing really special. I found out that he had only been working as a host for ten days and that I was his first designated customer, which made me feel a bit happy (okay, I was squealing in joy for "popping his hosting cherry," as one of my friends put it). But I'm cheering him on to get more customers...because he's not going to get much from me, heh.
I don't intend on going to see him that often at all, because it's very expensive and I don't want to get too personally involved with something that is supposed to be research. But, despite knowing how this game works, I still feel a special bond with my host. I look forward to his e-mails all the time, and it doesn't hurt that he's very good-looking
In the end, it's purely a host-customer relationship. Nothing will come out of it (unless he genuinely likes me or I pay a lot of money, neither of which is likely) and I'm okay with that. Just being able to talk to someone, even if it's in Japanese and by e-mail, makes me feel somewhat comforted. I'm making sure that I go to see him just once more before I return to the United States - not for my own pleasure, but because I honestly think he's a nice person.
So, how do you feel about host clubs based on what I've told you? Would you ever go to a host/hostess club? Do you think that all host-customer relationships - whether they are romantic or just friendly - are "fake"?
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Comments (85)
How about give me a sugar dady already?
SIKEEEEEEE. Wow, talk about total deseperation. Sorry - I don't roll like that. I don't need the opposite sex's attention that much.
I GOT MY OWN.
and oh, I CAN GET MY OWN.
Money does run the world, huh? Apparently, it runs the women's lives in Japan LMAO
P a t h e t i c cc
This is absolutely fascinating! Modern geisha-ish, wouldn't you say?
I guess that this has to do with a culture thing. Were I am from no it would not happen with me. I get that from my fiance, but I suppose if I were form a country similar to japan and what happens in relationships there I can understand... and I might have to say yes I would, but I won't know honestly because I am not from such a place and do not "know" what it is like or what it is that drives such a thing to become commonplace.
I find it completely fake.
This reminds me of a anime I watched, "Ouran High School Host Club". It was really cute. xD
damn. You just got worked.
I think people seek companionship for a number of reasons, so if some women need it because their own lives are lacking, more power to them (altho not to sound like a prude cuz I'm not but sex with people who get it from numerous other people is dangerous).
Personally, I would never visit a host club to pay for male attention when I have a hard enough time staying away from the free male attention I get when I go out to a regular club.
I do think if you like this guy tho, it can't hurt to go say goodbye before you return home.
~Big Sis~
ive been to host clubs all over the world -- including the United States. (they have them in the states too)
i would say -- it's no different than a fake romance / hookup at Las Vegas. It's also no different from a man going to Hooters and chatting up with the same bartender day in and day out during happy hour.
sometimes, it's just for filling a void that doesn't exist -- namely love, attention, and intimacy.
sure, maybe it's fake -- but love is not something that can be willed. often times, it is destiny.
I find this extremely interesting.
I love it how some are already quick to jump. It's a culture thing. Get over it it! That is why the Japanese don't want any American influence and why it is like hell for a non Japanese can get residence in Japan. People are just quick to jump to conclusions on what they don't understand.
@immaairheadxl@xanga - I wouldn't be making fun of another culture when you have a strict one of your own. It's ignorance sweetheart.
A friend of mine worked at a host club in Japan for a few years and from what she told me, it's completely fake.
the effects this has on the "host" has got to be worse than prostitution. they're experts at faking love connections - just think of all the complexes they'll develop as a result!
It's interesting... but that level of poserism would really turn me off anyway. I'd be like :" You're so hot. But you're lying. You're lying. You're hot. You're lying."
Yeah, that's one for the psych ward alright.
I think it's fake... but it wouldn't hurt if you just want to be friends with him...
wouldn't hurt to see him once more before you go either...
@awokenfatality@xanga - Shit. It's retarded, darling ;) Why are you buying your way for "Love." Fucking STUPID.
this seems like a bad idea for women. because the potential for falling in love and getting hurt is great.
@KNEESOXROCK@xanga -
That's exactly what I was thinking too.
this is really amusing. i was supposed to go to japan last summer but i have never heard of this concept and wish i went to experience it for myself. i think it is more like harmless fun as long as you are confident that you won't fall for the host. it is always fun to have a pleasant conversation with a handsome man
but yes it can get quite dangerous for some women who are more emotional.
This oddly sounds similar to the days of knightly love and courtship in medieval times. Â A knight would spend much effort to get the attention of the woman they desire, not always to end up in sexual congress (since they valued chastity and honor).
This definitely doesn't sound as virtuous as medieval times, but it's definitely interesting. Â Oh the things we do when money is not an issue...
They have those here in the USA too. I would probably go once just to see what it was like.
@awokenfatality@xanga - I can see why these comments would bother you but "That is why the Japanese don't want any American influence"-- uh, maybe you are thinking of China because Japan has for a long time (not necissarily for the better of the culture) taken a lot of American influences and we have taken a lot of theirs. Skepticism and ignorance shouldn't be greeted with disgust, take it as an opportunity to better teach us.
I think it sounds really interesting.
@immaairheadxl@xanga - can you be any more annoying?
Sounds like an escort service. You know, one of the ones that isn't a front for a hooker service. If the picture in the post is any indication of what "hosts" look like, I think I'd rather chat some girl up in a coffee shop.
@awokenfatality@xanga - FYI, japanese people totally EMBRACE american culture. and they love american boys, i heard.
koreans have the same kinda club. not for me, but whatever floats ur boat.
I had never heard of host/hostess clubs before. It's interesting though. I don't think I would go to one of these, but it's still cool to know different aspects of other cultures.