Miss ZebraThe couple was excitedly discussing their baby that was due to be born in a few months. The husband and wife had been married for years, but the wife had only just been able to get pregnant. However, the topic they were discussing wasn't whether the child was a boy or girl: it was whether the child was going to be deaf or hearing. See, the wife was hearing, while the husband was deaf.
This made me think . . . I'm a sign language interpreter and love being involved in the deaf community, and people have asked me from time to time if I would consider being with a man who was deaf.
My answer? I don't see a problem with it. My only hesitation is that I'm also a music major and music is one of the "loves" of my life. I can't imagine having a life not being able to completely share that with someone. Other than that, though, I would not have a problem marrying a deaf man. I've seen some of the struggles involved in this by watching a few couples around me and though it would be difficult in some ways, I'm comfortable enough in the language that I think we'd just have the same problems as any other relationship, just maybe shown in different ways.
What about you? Have you ever seen or been involved in a couple like this?
What about other things people call "physical handicaps"? Would you be with someone who was deaf? blind? had a physical deformity?
Comments (44)
I've dated a girl who had cerebral palsy. She had to use crutches to walk.
I didn't have a problem with it at all.
We just couldn't do the some of the same things as other couples.
But we found ways to make up for it and still had plenty of fun.
I would be involved with someone who was deaf or blind, or someone who was confined to a wheelchair. My thing is, if I fall in love with a person, I fall in love with who they are, not what they can or cannot do because of medical limitations. Admittedly, it would be more difficult, but if I fall in love with someone who is limited, that's just the way it will be.
I think it's hard to say, to be honest. It would depend on what sort of disability he had, how it would affect me, and whether or not I thought I could handle it.
If he were deaf, like the OP said, the only problem would be that he'd never hear my music, and that's so important to me. If he had a problem that seriously compromised his independence and he'd be relying a lot on me, I don't know if I could handle it, but if I really loved him, I'd try to find a way.
I think I would find it hard to fall for someone who had a disability that compromised his independence, or someone with a severe deformity. But I don't want to say I never would. I once said I'd never fall for someone with a mental illness. I have since done just that. So never say never!
You love who you love... things like that? It would totally depend on the rest of the content of the person. I've seen couples like that who are "perfect." It's clear, though, that see beyond those physical capabilities (or incapabilities).
yep. i seen a couple. the female is blind and the man only walks on one leg. seen it in tv.
but i wouldnt mind. as long as theres the love and all. =)
To be totally and completely honest, I don't know if I could marry someone who was deaf or blind. My father is deaf, my mother not, and I was miserable growing up with them. Mainly it's because I'm scared I'll turn up like my mom and treat my husband the same way she treats my dad - which is bad.
However, physical handicaps. My boyfriend is in the army, soon to be deployed, and the topic came up about "what if i get hurt, lose a limb, am paralyzed, etc." I told him I loved him regardless, and it's true. If he comes back a double amputee, I'm still marrying him. He's my best friend in the world, regardless of a handicap such as that.
Kind of a Bill/Fleur type thing, for my fellow HP geeks :)
I dated a guy for about a year who had a very mild form of cerebral palsy. He didn't require the use of a wheelchair but he had virtually no control over the left side of his body. He could walk and run, and he moved around fine. But you could tell that he really, really favored his right side. I wouldn't hold is left hand because he was so strong that it was almost impossible for me or him to get him to release the grasp. Sometimes when we were making out, fooling around, he would twitch hard with his left hand/arm/leg and it kind of hurt.
But besides that...I didn't notice it much, even before we were dating. We ultimately broke up because his mom hated me. Sigh, oh well.
I think it would just depend on the "disability".
I don't think there can be a for sure answer since I haven't been with someone who is handicapped. I'll give it a shot and see how it is. It probably will effect some things, like music or art etc etc.
One time I saw a girl who was paralyzed from the waist down. She was pretty cute too. I wouldn't mind dating her if given the chance.
That's my 2 cents... :)
Definately. It would be a struggle of course in some ways. But that is not what matters :)
I have been in much worse relationships where the person did not have any sort of handicap but had personality flaws that would be worse than a handicap.
i think if love the man enough i would do anything for him:) i will and i know i m capable of it. sometimes pp dont cherish things that aren't perfect.:)
if we had something, yes.
I'd have no problem with it.
If you love someone enough, you tend to forget about their imperfections.
To me it would be very dependent on the severity of the handicap. Dating some that is deaf is acceptable... if my fiance were deaf I would learn to speak to him in sign language. There is not an issue there for me. Such as blind is not a big issue for me either. If he were to become handicapped somehow... I would not leave him either. If when we met he were handicapped to a degree that he was not able to bath himself or something of such a nature we probably would not have dated. I would not have been able to handle that responsibility at the time I fully admit that... but now that we are in our in-depth relationship and something were to happen it is simply not a question... I would stay.
a lot of girls say they don't mind, as long as there's love, but i'm curious about what guys think about physical handicaps? cuz in society, aesthetics is such an emphasised quality for males.
Atm I have a boyfriend who's been In a wheelchair almost his whole life and I addmit sometimes it's hard,sometimes it makes me wonder. But I like him for him he makes me laugh so why would I mind that he ,the one I love, is in a wheelchair?
to branch off of what kasumicelesta said, i think when you come to love someone enough, it doesn't matter what's "wrong" with them... BUT, it's taking the first step (getting to know the person well enough to fall in love) that's often difficult. as much as i'd like to say i would be able to look past any disabilities/deformities and give every guy an equal opportunity, it's just not realistic.
however, i did see a special on the discovery health channel about a "normal" man who married a woman who's paralyzed from the neck down. and i think it's terrific he was able to look past her disability and fall in love. i just don't know if i could do it myself.
Absolutely absolutely absolutely. I, personally, have no reason why not to, and I understand others' points, but you love who you love, right?
I am in a 2 year relationship with a guy who has Muscular Dystrophy and has been in a wheel chair since he was 5 years old. We are so much in love and so happy but my family and friends are constantly giving us hate for being together. I don't understand. We love each other so much. Why does it matter if someone is handicapped or a different color or different sex or hard of hearing, etc. There's no way I would ever second guess our relationship for the physical difficulties but sometimes I wish we had friends in similar situations, so I could have someone to talk to. It is hard on me. But love is hard. I love him so much and am willing to go through whatever it takes to be with him. I just wish other people could see us for what we are. I don't understand why people can be so hateful.
Is anyone else in a similar relationship? Or have comments?
Krista
beachblondgurly@yahoo.com
I started dating a girl with Scoliosis a couple months ago. She looks normal, but has scars where she had surgery at 13 or 14.
The scars don't bother me at all... what does is A) the idea that she might get worse, go through additional surgerys, and have additional debilitating pain, and B) That any children we might have would have the same issue. I soooo want daughters, and scoliosis is more likely in girls.
Might she not be able to bear children, if her lower spine is fused??? *shudder*
She recently found out there are additional problems in her lower back;Â spinal curvature (along the Y axis), a pinched nerve. She also was told she has spinal degredation, although I think that's in the upper back. Degredation is common in old (55-80 yo) patients... i dont think its common in young ones (she is 23!).It's been 9 years since her surgery. These 'new' issues could have been there a long time, and are not really new or progressing. Or maybe they are... it scares me.
I admit that I'm spending time reading up on scoliosis and trying to find out the liklihood it would pass to children, as well as what might happen to her.
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While I hate that I'm considering ending the relationship because of these frightening aspects, I do think it's also because we haven't really 'connected' quite yet - she isn't good at communicating.
It all makes me feel shallow. I know I'll give it more time, but scoliosis progresses slowly enough that I know it will remain an issue in my head. Maybe to a point where I can't move past it. It all scares me. As a guy I don't like not having control, and there is just nothing I can do.