Miss ZebraThe couple was excitedly discussing their baby that was due to be born in a few months. The husband and wife had been married for years, but the wife had only just been able to get pregnant. However, the topic they were discussing wasn't whether the child was a boy or girl: it was whether the child was going to be deaf or hearing. See, the wife was hearing, while the husband was deaf.
This made me think . . . I'm a sign language interpreter and love being involved in the deaf community, and people have asked me from time to time if I would consider being with a man who was deaf.
My answer? I don't see a problem with it. My only hesitation is that I'm also a music major and music is one of the "loves" of my life. I can't imagine having a life not being able to completely share that with someone. Other than that, though, I would not have a problem marrying a deaf man. I've seen some of the struggles involved in this by watching a few couples around me and though it would be difficult in some ways, I'm comfortable enough in the language that I think we'd just have the same problems as any other relationship, just maybe shown in different ways.
What about you? Have you ever seen or been involved in a couple like this?
What about other things people call "physical handicaps"? Would you be with someone who was deaf? blind? had a physical deformity?
Comments (44)
I'm extremely irresponsible and can barely take care of myself sometimes. If I really liked a guy that had some sort of physical disability like that, I would probably date him, but I doubt it would go very far - I would probably find it far too difficult and constraining to have to take care not only of myself, but in some situations, him as well. Maybe my answer will change as I grow older and perhaps learn to be more responsible, but for now, that's how it is...
I'm irresponsible too. I mean, I honestly would not mind a man who could not speak, but anything else I'd probably be etchy about.
For other, better and less shallow people, I think it's quite sweet they'd overcome such differences in life :D
Seeing as I know very little sign language, it'd probably be hard communicating, but as you said you're an interpreter so you're pretty good at it. If that were the case for me, I don't think I'd have any problems being with him. At least he wouldn't be able to hear all my nagging right? (:
That's a tough one. Probably not. I wouldn't mind if a girl was missing a toe or something.
i dont see why there would be a problem. my friend goes out with a guy who is missing part of his leg.
Hm. Personally, I don't see a problem with it. If you are mature enough to overcome the difference than that's awesome! :D If not, so what? Not everyone can be okay with things like that. You *do* have to think about how the hadipcap effects you now and how it will effect you in the future however. Dating would probabally be easier than being married to someone with a handicap. Not to say that marrying someone with a handicap would be unworth it, because it very well could.
Well I have scoliosis and that's physically inhibiting sometimes, so I could really care less if someone had a physical handicap. Whether or not I could date someone, though, is different. I'm big on sharing, and I can't share my music passion with a deaf person, can't share visual arts with someone who can't see, can't hear the words of someone who can not speak. That doesn't mean I would love them less, I would just be sad about it all the time.
I personally don't find anything wrong with dating someone with a handicap. In this society I think its admirable for people to get past those things, especially when they're looked down upon on so many levels.
For me I think it depends on the degree of the handicap. If it requires me to take care of them in some form I don't think I could because I can barely take care of myself.
As long as I can communicate, then there shouldnt be a problem =)
If this person is my soulmate, I really dont care. Being blind or any handicap does not define a person. As long as I can communicate with them then theres no problem :]
I wouldn't care.
I see nothing wrong with dating anyone with a handicap, but it would probably be hard for me. I need to share things with people, which would be hard for someone who is, for example, deaf or blind. I love making writing and making music. It would be difficult for me to have to go without these things. Besides, I have little patience to learn to cope with handicaps (such as learning sign language, etc.). Hopefully more people are less selfish than me.
I think that if you love someone it shouldn't matter what they look like. I don't have a problem being with someone who was blind or deaf or had some other handicap. As long as we could communicate and had something in common I think it would be fine.
I'll say this from the point of view of a "disabled" person: I was born deaf in one ear. I usually do not wear a hearing aid, so if you walked around with one ear plugged for a whole day, that is what I hear all the time. People sometimes forget that "disabled" people have ways of adapting to life that overcome their "disability" completely. For example although my hearing is considerably lower than a normal person's, as long as I sit towards the front of the classroom I don't miss much. I can also read lips very well because of my "disability" to fill in anything that I miss hearing-wise. When I am in a group setting I wear a hearing aid to make sure I can hear everything that people say. In the past I usually did not tell people about my hearing loss because the stigma of being "disabled" can be intense and is oftentimes very negative. There are people who have known me for years who have no idea that I am deaf in one ear because I have adapted to it so well that it rarely ever poses a challenge. But nowadays I am more open about it because I do not see it as a negative thing. It's something that makes me who I am and it has taught me to be adaptive and understanding of others.
I do not view my hearing loss as a "disability" at all! Everyone has their challenges in life to overcome. What matters most are the ways we are willing to accept those challenges as opportunities to strengthen ourselves rather than see them as hinderances. :)
i think its much like interfaith relationships--you have to be willing to make it work. you have to be willing to make the effort to communicate with someone. if you can do that...then what is the problem?
My new boyfriend has spina bifida and had hydrocephalus ("water on the brain", for the clueless) when he was born, but it hasn't affected our relationship so far. He's just as caring, handsome, and affectionate as any guy without disabilities is. Honestly, I think he came into my life to teach me more about all the differences between us as human beings. If I were stupid enough to let those disabilities come between us, I'd be missing out on a great guy. So, yeah, anyone who decides not to date someone because of something as stupid as a limited ability to walk or something is pretty lame, if you ask me.
I dated a guy whose leg was deformed from surgery he'd had as a child. Really sweet guy, but we split up for other reasons (our personalities just didn't mesh at all). But, he'll be a great guy for someone else.
I dont think i could date a man that is handicap because i know it would be hard and overwhelming for me, but if i was with a man already and he wasnt handicap and something happened like he lost his hearing or something then i would stay with him and help him out because i love that person and it shouldnt change my love for him. i would also want him to do the same for me.
Xo
hmm I've dated someone who was deaf... it didn't last very long though. but yeah I mean I liked him and even though it was kind of hard to communicate with him I still had fun and obviously he's just like any other person...
hells yes. i could talk shit about him right behind him back.
kidding. of course.
i wouldn't have a problem with it. you learn and grow from it. i think i'd actually prefer it because it gives me a reason to learn how to adapt to their lifestyle, too.
If I was in love with him, I would have absolutely no problem with it.
i say i wouldnt mind, but i really dont know. if i got to know a "handicapped" person and then fell in love with him, then i wouldnt care at all. but if a stranger or acquaintence, lets say in a wheelchair, asked me out I dont know what i would say. I wouldnt want him to feel like I said no because of what he looks like, but it does depend on how comfortable i am around him.
honestly i think a lot of people say they dont mind people with disabilities, but when you interact with such people, it can still be awkward and intimidating. even though i took a class on disabilities, i have no real life experiences.
that being said, i'd like to give it a try =]
of course I would be with someone who was physically challenged/disabled! I wouldn't care if he was confined to a wheelchair, missing limbs, deaf, speech-impaired, etc. I'd treasure him always.
I think when you come to love someone enough, it doesn't matter what's "wrong" with them.
I can't really see myself with a deaf person since I don't know any sign language other than my name, and music is also a very big passion of mine. But if something really made me want to be with him, I'd take up lessons as soon as I can.