Saturday, 10 January 2009
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He Dumped Me Out of The Blue
This is a guest blog submitted by aka_lois_lane.First, a history lesson. I was separated from my now ex-husband for almost a year when a good friend of mine got divorced. Not long after that, he and I started dating; soon thereafter, we were exclusive. Weekend trips and everything. He would talk about marriage, how we were going to grow old together, things we would do later in life, etc. Things were great.
We'd been dating for a year when he lost his job at his plant due to layoffs, and I was there for him as much as I could be. Three days after he was laid off, my divorce was finalized, and we'd made plans to go out later that week. He canceled on me at the last minute, which he'd never done before.
The following Monday, he sent me a text saying we weren't meant for each other and he didn't want to complicate my life anymore. Other than one two-minute phone call from me and a "merry Christmas" text from him, we haven't had any contact since then. I haven't been able to get a hold of him for two weeks - he won't answer my texts or calls.
I just want to know why we broke up all of a sudden. Why would a guy do this?
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- From: aka_lois_lane@xanga
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Comments (74)
cheer upp, maybe he's just a jerk
Its never "out of the blue". There's always at least a few days of thought behind a break up, I believe any ways. Losing a job is stressful and maybe he felt that he really needed to focus on finding another job and keeping money in order that a relationship was just not what he needed right now. I had a boyfriend leave me after 7 months of what I thought was a "perfect relationship", no fighting, always laughing, always together so when he dumped me everyone was shocked! He said he was tired of taking care of me (I had demanding emotional issues back then). Also that's just the way relationships go, sometimes they dont work and it can be very disappointing but you learn from it and move on.
Wow, a text message? That is pathetic and unfair to you.
The only way you'll know why he broke up with you is if you ask, but there's no point in causing more pain and drama for yourself. Just let it go.
Perhaps he is embarrassed that he lost his job (though he shouldn't be) and is afraid that he's not good enough for you anymore since he is currently not able to provide a salary. If that is definitely the reason, then perhaps you should confront him about it and explain to him that it's ok that he has lost his job and that he will eventually find a new one. If this isn't the case, then I'm not really sure what to tell you. Best of luck!
Maybe he got back with her ex-wife.
And really, if he didn't have the balls to break up with you in person, is he worth pining over?
Oh boy. o_o Either:
1. He's not into you.
2. He's afraid that you'll lose interest in him.
3. Stress.
[Like everybody said xD]
I guess he wasn't Prince Charming after all! :P Lucks with the next guy.
he probably has been feeling a while.my ex texted me to end it too. apparently he started to like his friend and just want a fresh start. i think you should consider a fresh start too. people change.
i dont think there is enough information here for anything but a shot in the dark. maybe the stress of the times has really messed with his head...then again i dont know if its worth it to wait around. =T
I've felt that way before and I spent alot of time trying to figure out/find out why, but my friend told me that there are somethings I'll never understand and if he doesn't care enough to explain the he is an a**hole and you shouldn't bother trying to figure it out...
Also, what answer would be an acceptable reason to dump you out of the blue with no explaination. An explaination may either get your hopes up or help you to realize the a--hole he really is.
i would think it's because of the lay-off stress. It could be possibly that he found someone else. However, i don't think you need to ask yourself why you broke up with whomever that may be. break up is a break up whether there is a reason or not. =T lucks
this has never happened to me. ive been with the same guy since freshman year in highschool. but i do have ideas.
usually guys dont dump you for no reason in particular. theres always a reason. whether he lost interest or has low self esteem or thought that he couldnt support you. or that he wasnt good enough for you. i have seen that happen alot.
i also agree with the guy above. it couldve been cause he thought he couldnt support you. he probably didnt want to put you thro things like that, especually if you guys ever decided to get married and have a family.
Maybe he broke up with you out of the blue because he didn't want to burden you with himself. He might have believed that since he didn't have a job anymore, he wouldn't be able to provide for you within the relationship.
Maybe he will call. Leave him alone for now.
I'm sorry. :(
Xo
he probably wasn't ready for a relationship yet and you were there right after the divorce. rebound.
Money.
Well, he probably really feels like he can't support you in the way he'd want to after losing his job. Maybe once he gets back on track he'll contact you again.
Either that or he's met up with some rich 80-year old lady who promised to leave him a fortune once she dies as long as he has sex with her twice a week. He'll probably call you back after that too =D
This happened to me like last week. He broke up with me because he suddenly realized that there were 4 billion other women on the planet he hadn't slept with yet.
ego..he doesn't want to feel like the woman in the relationship.
@OhItzJustMe@xanga - i was gonna respond but this person seems to have hit the nail on the head.
i guess you cant tell for sure though.
i had this happen to me, but we've talked... a lot. And, he says that he's been feeling this for a while, but he's been trying to hold it in because he didn't want to hurt me. well, that didn't work huh? so, maybe your guy was trying to hold it in since he wasn't sure if what he was feeling was true or not.
he's met someone else. trust me. move on. you deserve better
My ex dumped me out of the blue as well. He had sent me a text early in the day calling me 'sweetheart' and telling me that he missed me. A few hours later he called to say he just didn't love me and it was over.
I didn't get it then and I don't get it now. I tried to figure it out and drove myself nuts. But now I'm over it and I just don't care.
Breaking up with you via text - what a coward. He's not worth the energy it takes to wonder why he did what he did.
I know this sounds morbid and way too pessimistic, but I took some psychology classes where they indicated that a suicide victim usually cut off all relationships leading up to the actual event.
Not saying it's going to happen, but it could be a possibility.
It's probably a good possibility that he was over-stressed. Maybe he found that needs to get a job first in order to date a woman. Maybe he needs to move away and he doesn't want to burden you and so is cutting off the relationship.