This is a guest blog submitted by LiLbabeSwT.
Lately I have been reading posts about how man should or should not be romantic. (Light reading:
Romance is for suckers and
Romance is not pointless)
I showed my BF those posts - he laughed - and he said he agreed with some parts but disagreed with others. He also brought up a good question, what is romance/being romantic?
In the first post I read, this guy said it's stupid for his friend to walk 15 miles just to get back with his ex-girlfriend (spoiler: he failed at the end, by the way.) His friend claimed it wasn't a stupid thing to do; he thought it was romantic. Of course the blogger thought it was a pointless thing to do, so he wrote that post about how pointless romantic is.
I guess he made his point, even though I must say I disagree with some parts (hint: I am a girl, after all.)
Then the second post was actually a comment left on the first post; it's a guy listing how romance is NOT pointless. He mentioned how he did romantic things for his fiancée from time to time. As a girl, I thought that was pretty cute.
In the first post, the guy mentioned how girls are now expected to have flowers and phone calls, etc., etc. (oh yeah, and chocolates.) I told my BF that that wasn't my idea of being romantic. I mean, yes, watching The Notebook, Noah was ridiculously romantic and hell, it made everyone cry. But c'mon, we all know that's only in the movies, and there's a one in a million chance that it actually happened in real life.
Giving flowers, chocolates, teddy bears every week or so is such a cliché thing to do. That's not what I have in mind of what being romantic is. My definition of romance is very simple: it's the little things that my SO does. For example, he'd notice if my hands were freezing so he'd get me a pair of gloves (of course, in the perfect colour and size.) Or he would take me to places (nothing fancy) just to eat the food that he knows I love to eat. Being romantic doesn't really mean you have to buy expensive stuff or do something really dramatic - maybe it's just something small, something that is significant or meaningful.
Like my SO said, you have to define what romance is before you can criticize.
What is your definition of romance or being romantic? What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done to you?
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Comments (25)
For me, I think romance is often something that a guy or a girl can do for their SO that they wouldn't normally do for anyone else. For example, my boyfriend ABSOLUTELY hates writing/reading. But being away from him for so long, I decided I wanted to do something a little cheesy and a little romantic - I sent him a love letter. And lo and behold - he sent me one back. I nearly fainted, that's how amazed and romanticized I was. It was a very short letter, of course, but the fact that he did something he hated for me - wrote - was more than enough to show me how romantic and loving he is.
Exhilarating, spontaneous, sensual, erratic, classy(in some cases), sexy and above all else the outward expression of love^_^.
no glove, no love, baby! lol j/k.
too long to explain.
Sometimes it's not what someone does FOR you. Sometimes It's just something that you share with someone you love, and that's what makes it romantic.
*shameless plug alert* To me romance is wanting to do something for your SO because it brings them happiness. For some girls its poetry. For others it's remembering special little dates (more than just anniversaries, birthday, v-day). That being said, as a guy, my ex didn't do classical 'romantic' things to me, but there was a lot of romantic things. If I was staying late working in the aerospace lab, she would show up and surprise me. It might be freezing out and she'd show up bundled up with a big bag, a little red in the face from the cold, and a big grin. Then she'd set it down and pull out my thick jacket and give it to me. Followed would be a thermos of homemade soup, still steaming. Then a tupperware of meat and rice, for sustenance, and a separate one of vegetables, for health, and a third one with pre-cut fruits for dessert. She'd usually stay with me while I eat to keep me company, but she's really busy so she'd have to leave to get back home and do her work. To me, that's the best kind of romance. And she did it all the time. Love that girl to death. Breaking our engagement and cheating on me and leaving and all O.o
http://weblog.xanga.com/MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio/688000063/-and-ill-show-you-the-man-you-can-spend-the-rest-of-your-life-with.html
just something done for me or on my behalf to show me that i am part of your daily thoughts. it can be as small as a flower or as grand as a symphony performance!
the most romantic thing i've gotten was minutes for my phone, so i could call him!lol
@immaairheadxl@xanga - lol... nice. xD
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - I'm so sorry :(
well my def. of romance can be talking to someone and being with them, you dont gotta go all out to make them feel loved. just a single call can change their entire day. i think that well, just talking to tem is romantic.
being romantic. to notice the small things. knowing someone cares and notices and is there to protect you
For me, it's when the two of you are with a huge bunch of people, and he still acts like you're the only thing he's paying attention to...
you know, like randomly squeezing your hand if your sitting together, or just non-chalantly putting his arm on your leg..that kind of stuff could get me high :)
"In the first post I read, this guy said it's stupid for his friend to walk 15 miles just to get back with his ex-girlfriend"
I actually drove 6 hours to try and makeup with my BF at the time into another state... it worked, he thought I was nuts, but it worked. Not to mention, it was valentines day :)
I think you defined it pretty well :] The small important things.
The most rommantic thing anyone has ever done for me was probably when my girlfriend and I at the time went outside her house at around midnight and layed a blanket down to where we could see the sky. Then another blanket for us to cuddle with and she held me as we talked and watched the stars and sky change for hours. simple but extremely sweet :]
i guess it was when my ex bf actually saw it was raining and there was no umbrella, he used his coat to shade me from the rain, he walked on the outside every time we crossed the street and he actually taking all my idiosyncrasies. We are no longer together but,i must say something, he was the ultimate guy who loved me the most.
I 100% agree with your idea of romance. I just started dating this guy, and he is the first guy who has done little things for me: hold my hands when they're cold, snuggle with me during a movie, put his arm around me...it's the little things that do it for me. plus he asked me to prom :D
I guess my definition of romance is when you just show your SO how you love/care for them. It's when you know, without words, how that person feels about you. The most romantic thing my boyfriend ever did was in high school. We had been dating for a while and one day I was walking with him to my locker. I opened it and it was completely empty, except for a vase of three red roses. Yeah, in high school. Anyway, it was so sweet because everyone got to be in awe of us for a while and I knew that he really cared about me to have to carry my books all day and actually go through the trouble of planning it all out. (Like getting the combination from my friend.)
It was just so romantic. But there are little things he does every day that is romantic, like opening doors and holding my hand and getting me a drink when I am too lazy to get it. Things like that, that you don't do for just anyone.
Romance is the oodly noodly feeling in the bottom of your heart. ^_^ Something that's a little campy possibly, but well intentioned.
Romance is giving the other person spontaneously. Acting for the s.o and not of yourself.
Small sweet things. My bf has his jerk moments, but those are what make his nice moments so sweet.
When we got together in highschool, our first kiss was an eskimo kiss, we both blushed in a wholesome awe
At the end of the first month we went out, he bought me a vinyl record of a band we both loved and saw in concert.
Whenever I met his family and friends the first time he held my hand and told me they would love me, but not nearly as much as he loved me
Him dancing with me at my prom nice and slowly, fearful because he is a self proclaimed horrid dancer, but pulled me close and smiled at the end of the dance
Years after going out, we still order the same drink from the restraunt of our first date
When laying down with each other, grasping each other's shirt, and holding one another as if we shouldnt ever let go.
There are so many more little things....
@SerenaDante@xanga - that is very sweet. I had an ex of mine propose to me in a letter when long distance. Even though he wasnt the brightest character and put the ring in a regular envelope...so the ring got pushed out of the envelope and got lost in the mail...lol
@wolvenchic@xanga - Actually, the ring probably got stolen... I send tons of snail mail because my family lives all around the world, and I've had it happen that if I send a letter containing an item that stands out (say coins), anything valuable in the letter is stolen, including other bills that may have been folded up in the paper... but if I just include bills, that doesn't happen because it's not noticeable.
Anyways. That sounds like a really cute proposal though!
Every so often when my boyfriend has to leave for class before I get up, he'll leave me a little note on my computer. This is one of the sweetest things a guy has done for me... and you'll note it costs no money at all. It's just nice to know he's thinking about me, and to find something from him when he can't be with me.
Romance is something is different for different people. I was terrified about PDA because I thought it meant so much in a relationship and then we were actually talked and I realized that I really liked him and wanted to be with him he wasnt dressed nice. He had on his plain work pants and a white undershirt. He took off his actual work shirt that was stained... (good... cause blood isnt that attractive... my boyfriend is a butcher by the way). Cool and creepy at the same time. Lol. But he was holding me and it was right after our first date. I was really liking him. He went to the breaking dawn book release party with me. After we stayed in the parking lot talking. And to my horror, 3 girls that he knew were walking by to go to their car that was like 5 down from us. He didnt let go which caused me so much embarassment and even his co-worker walked by and he introduced me with a smile... while not letting go. I asked him why he still held me and he said "I like you and if they dont like that then they can move on" and I thought it was one of the most romantic things. More things too... but i think one novel is good <3 addy
Sometimes all the cliche materialistic 'romance' screams clinginess and can make a guy feel taken for granted or inadequate if he doesn't buy them for his girl.
While I'm all for candle-lit dinners and the occasional piece of jewellery, aren't the best things in life free?
Then again, what would I know... =[ lol
What is romantic for one person, or one couple, may not be the same thing for another person/couple!