Is there anything wrong with being contented while in love? While not necessarily at a standstill?

Once I was in love with someone that I could see myself living a somewhat different life than I had in mind after finishing college. Instead of working to start a career in Japan, if we were together I might have just wanted to date him, eventually get married, and stay in the United States.

But he's gone now, and I'm back to my original life goals. Being involved with him kind of blinded me, so I'm very glad to be single and uninvolved again.

Standstill? No. I did, however, feel somewhat like I was sitting on a train. Still moving, but not much adventure there. Relationships should continue evolving though. Feeling like you're at a standstill... is a bit much. Your SO should help make you into the best person you can be... and since I surely doubt most people are already that, then it shouldn't be a standstill. Comfortable, yes. Walking a set path, maybe. But standstill... no.

a standstill? not necessarily. i put some of life goals on hold to get my relationship back on track but after that they fit together seamlessly. 

nothing is at a standstill despite my relationship. i don't let anything sit on the back burner. as happy as he makes me, i have an agenda of my own i have to take care of, as he has his own as well. graduating from college is a big one for both of us, & we both understand what each other has to do. we're still there for each other though. and if i can't get anything done, i really don't blame the relationship, i blame myself for attempting to juggle what i have had attempted at. there you go :]

I was actually talking about just that only gestern with my boyfriend. Before I was with him I had all these plans of spending a year or two in England and, maybe, I don't know, Egypt. I just has this inner insatisfaction inside of me I need to do something *different* so I*d feel validated. And now I don*t feel like doing those things, I'm happy just where I am.

Of course, that led him to telling me we shouldn't change our life plans for one another cause we aren't married and we never know what's gonna happen, so if I wanted to go I should go and blah blah. It's not like it'd affect our relationship we're already long distance in the moment (continents away)... but it's still miserable that he considers we might not end up together.. heh

So I'd say shake that contentment right off and move your butt, lol. Love doesn't make the world go around, it makes it stand still.

yep when u are totally oblivious and in love

I definitely feel that with my current boyfriend, some aspects of my life are at a standstill, but not in a bad way. Like... I'm in college and he's miles and miles away from me. Sometimes when I'm reading something for a class or trying to do my homework, thoughts of him come up and I just can't work anymore. Maybe it's because I miss him so much or something, but these random pauses can sometimes really help me relax. Once I get over the moment and I'm back to doing work, I really do it. Because thinking about him reminds me that I want to have a future with him, but I need to be able to support myself - I don't want to depend only on him.

Yes - or maybe I just am a simple person who wants a simple life but grew up to think that I have to make a big accomplishment in order to say that I've lived a great and happy life?

Actually, I have. I had generic plans for my life that would have me living a secure, miserable, mundane, lonely life. I was very attached to my parents and family because it was drilled into me that they were the most important aspect of my life and they would always be there for me. Of course I start college and I find out that my parents would not be helping me out. These parents were the same who refused to let me work through high school because their pride wouldn't allow their eldest child to work, it would be embarrassing when the family found out. Now here I was, struggling with my first job and my first semester of college. My family used me for money as I fell into a depression and my as my GPA dropped severely, it started affecting my standing at work too. I met my current partner over a year later and after spending so much time with this person who was healing me, I took a genuine interest in my personal future and I had no idea where to go from there. After a few crappy part-time jobs, I slowly began mapping out a plan for myself and I am ALOT happier that I was before. When you're with someone, its natural to come to a standstill because sometimes you're trying to figure out how to make room for that person. Its a positive experience, you're making an effort to include that person in your life. Rock on!

@LilPumpkin@xanga - my boyfriend said something of the sort to me once, it felt like a slap in the face. But at the same time, it was a wake up call to move my ass. He fell in love with the person I was, that included the plans I truly wanted for myself. I hope you do get to go to England and Egypt one day, good luck!!

??  no standstill for me