Dr. DatingishI've been with my boyfriend for two years and a few months now, and our relationship has been a wreck. The first month we were together was awesome, but when we got back to school, the next year and a half was a total breakdown for me. He would ask girls out, flirt, go to parties, ignore my phone calls and just pretty much treat me like crap...but he never cheated. We broke up twice during those months, but the last one in May was the serious one. I ignored his phone calls and talked to another guy whom I really liked so I could get over him. This went on for two weeks. And as I was ignoring him, he kept begging to come back. Finally, I gave in and we got back together.
The past five months have been great - he's changed
a lot. He's not ditching anymore, no drugs or smoking, and he's way more responsible now. He treats me so much better and doesn't even hang out with the his "bad" friends. But the thing is, I sometimes get super bitchy at him! The little things he does that piss me off would usually result in my telling him to stop, but now, I am going over the top. I think it's because sometimes I recall all the times he treated me like shit and I just wanna take revenge. But I'm working on my attitude, and I think I'm pretty good now.
About two weeks ago, we had a huge argument because I was a "super bitch" and I got mad at him for taking a picture of this girl I hated. It was a quick snapshot of her and everyone around him, and it wasn't really a big deal at all - I overreacted just 'cause of how he used to be. So I'm still stuck with the way he was before, which I shouldn't be, because he has already changed.
I started yelling at him and was ready to leave his house when he suddenly grabbed me. I was cussing him out and telling him that I wanted to leave and to let me go, but he wouldn't. That just got me more pissed and I started telling him a lot of stuff. Suddenly, I just didn't care if he got hurt and I told him:
"The days you messed around when you were with me, I was out sucking off other guys, so we're fair!"
Which was a total lie! I never did that, but I said it thinking that he would get hurt and let go. But he didn't. He yanked me by the hair and dragged me to his room. He slammed me on his bed and held me by the throat. He hit me twice and I knew he wanted to choke me, but he was trying his best not to do it hard. Then he held me close and said sorry, but he had a knife in his hand behind me.
I was begging him not to do anything because I think he was either trying to kill himself or me.
I love him a lot,
a lot, and I know it was my fault he acted like that. I was being really messed up.
I know he wouldn't treat me like that on purpose, but I'm also scared of what has happened...what do I freakin' do?
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Comments (193)
Honey LEAVE! Your relationship was poisoned from the start, and he's obviously got some SERIOUS issues. Violence and abuse are NEVER okay. And staying will only hurt you more, and possibly your future children. Move on, and your attitude of trying to hurt people will go away...you won't be reacting to his treatment anymore. Seriously, you should talk to someone...you wrote this because you knew you needed support to leave him. Do it. You can. And you'll be so much happier.
I refuse to believe a this is a a real post...
I can't read anymore "my bf/gf treats me like shit, once set me on fire, stole all my money and cursed my family...but I REALLY REALLY like them. Should we stay together? teehee lol!"
If that was genuine, you should press assault charges and stop dating him.
Uh... I got nothin'.
I wasn't going to comment, but I will. If I take flak, so be it. Fact: you verbally, emotionally, and passionately assaulted him and struck him in the face. Fact: most people are not Gandhi, when assaulted they fight back violently. Fact: Both emotional and physical assault can leave permanent scars. Fact: You could have died. Fact: Death you cannot recover from.
Placed together, you and he are fighting and as a couple are driven to assaulting one another. He may never recover from his emotional scars, but he might. I can pretty much guarantee you will not recover from death (not in this world). Here's what you should do:
1. Break up with him in a nice safe defensible public place.
2. Tell him you lied so that he might recover from the emotional scars you inflicted on him
3. Do not date him ever again
4. Get counseling to deal with the assault and learn how to stop being emotionally abusive yourself
5. If you press charges you really ARE a b!tch, even though the law suggests it is your right, and on that note I disagree with everyone above who suggests you do it. If you find it necessary, take out a restraining order on him or yourself, to increase your safety.
get out! get out! get out!
regardless of what you said or did, it is not your fault. he should NEVER EVER have acted like that!
Leave NOW. Leave and never look back. Go to the police and get a restraining order and then move on with your life.
Leave him ASAP...if/when he does it again it could be a LOT worse for you.
Don't blame yourself either. He needs to keep his temper in check. It's NEVER ok to hit anyone regardless of how they're acting or what they're saying.
@mixedbabiesrock@xanga - Mhmm.
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - Yep.
No one ever gets to hit you or be violent towards you. Get out, I don't care if he's changed a lot lately. As to the being bitchy to get revenge or whatever, I completely understand that, and what I had to discover for myself in my last relationship was that sometimes there is pain that goes too deep to get past for things to work. It's hard to accept but sometimes its just better to let go
Regardless, this is something youll have to decide for yourself, something you'll have to figure out for yourself, because without your own conviction, you will probably find your way back to this situation.
Honestly, somebody needs to have a featured blog about how all these "My BF hit me" posts are loads of bullshit.
It sounds like this relationship has been hell for you both right from the beginning. It also sounds like neither of you want each other, but you don't want anyone else wanting each other either. I have no idea how old you are. I'm guessing under 21. Get out now. You are abusive to each other and abuse doesn't stop. It gets easier. I repeat. Get out now.
Obviously you both have made eachother go insane and going insane isnt very good if there is violence involved. Especially with a knife. My mother and father were in a very abusive relationship and it got to the point where my mother started trying to abuse me and that lead to me having to repeatedly abuse her just so she would stop trying to hurt me. Abusive actions are umm...what do you call it when someone sneezes, so like everyone else sneezes? I cant remember but it has the same effect. Eventually it got so bad that my mother had pulled a knife on me, yes ME, her daughter and my father beat my brother becasue my brother was tired of the abuse and tried to beat my father with a metal bat. Abuse is not cool. Weather it happens one time or a million times, its not cool. I would tell you to get out of that relationship now, but for some odd reason girls like to think their wway out of thinking its bad. They tend to turn it into, its just a faze, or it was my fault. AH, makin me nervous.
he's definately crazy. it wasn't your fault. but you both need help.
i think he was trying really hard. you know when guys hold it in an dthey explode. you need to treat him better.....
its hard and it will take some time. but. now youre probably going to be scared of him. sorta.
Three words. Run bitch run. Ok this guy is obviously crazy. Unless you have a knife and attempt to stab him or have something that could seriously hurt him then he should hold you off. But taking you to his room and hitting you. Oh hell no. I would have to get my friends and go kick his ass. There is no way to excuse that kind of behavior. If you really love him. Tell his ass to go to therapy for that shit and then after he's out you'll talk. But run away. Run away fast <3 addy
@your a liar - "If I were him I'd hit you.. I think violence against women is bad but some do ask for it."
Omg
guys don't hit girls. and vice versa. just..no. period. and if it happens, even ONCE, drop the relationship. your relationship already sounds unhealthy even before the physicalness. your mindset is never going to change no matter how much he changes.