Wednesday, 07 January 2009
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"I Need Sex Every Ten Days...Or Else"
A friend of mine told me that he told his wife that he needs to have sex every 10 days, or he will "start looking elsewhere".
Wow, points for being honest. It's definitely true that if a man is denied sex over a long period of time, he will generally not be happy with the relationship. But what impressed me the most is that he had a specific number of days in mind (ten).
It reminded me of that movie "40 Days and 40 Nights" with Josh Hartnett and Shannyn Sossamon (whatever happened to her anyway?). The movie makes a huge deal out of how Josh's character goes 40 days without sex. Is that really such an incredible stretch of time? That movie diminished my sense of manhood (Hollywood more than made up though, by bringing out the "40 Year Old Virgin" - okay, now *that's* a really long time.)
Anyway it got me thinking: everyone probably has a specific number in mind. How many days can you survive without sex?
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Comments (403)
i don't really ever feel like i need it unless i'm actually with my boyfriend.Â
there's never a time i'd say no to it though, really, unless i'm really really sick or something.What an asshole!
I went a couple months during the summer for the past two years..
three days, and i'm chewing my nails off. seven, and i'll attack him in the shower.
but in a world where couples have their own lives completely and in my case, are going to work when their loved one comes home from his job...it's pretty common to go a little while without.
and that's why someone wonderful made vibrators.
but i definately wouldn't cheat after ten days...that's stupid. i wouldn't cheat after 100. it's just sex.
I will answer once I actually start having sex. :]
i think it depends on how often you're around each other... everytime we see each other, my boyfriend and i want to. but if i'm not around him, i'm not as horny (though i know he is... and i respect it, sometimes you do have to handle it yourself).
Actually, men can get ill if they've had a lot of sex in the past and then don't for an extended period of time. Women need it, too. I personally flip my lid if I don't get it at Least every 4 to 5 days - and that's only a worst case scenario. My advice: marry a Transylvanian woman, we have a high sex drive. As for the ultimatum, that dude is never going to be happy because he has no real commitment there. He'll never know anything beyond physical love. I'd never start looking, no matter if - yea, like it'd happen - my man couldn't give it to me. She must have low self esteem to stay with him. I wouldn't get too close, he'll obviously go for your jugular if he thinks it'll benefit him.
Well, once I started having sex, I haven't really stopped. It all depends on who I'm with. With my exes I went a while without. However, with my man now, I'm a sex fiend, I don't even know how long I could last without and we don't seem like we plan on finding out. haha.
I think the longest that I've been without sex would be around two weeks. lol. But that's because I took a vacay without my hubby. Other than that, I could go a week or so without sex.
Forever. Now how long would I want to...
In terms of an orgasm?
I can go about two days. Maybe three. I usually have several in a day, though.
In terms of partnered vaginal intercourse?
If I *really* have to, I can go indefinitely. But I start to really feel the itch after 1-2 days, and I prefer to have sex at least once a day.
If it's been more than 3-4 days (and no other major barriers like distance), then there is a serious problem.
Whatever happened to Shannyn Sossamon? She had a baby and named it Audio Science. No joke.
22 years so far :)
If needed, I could survive forever ... but sex is always nice. Not having it wouldn't send me looking elsewhere, though.
How about 19 years? I'm still a virgin.
depends on whether i'm single or in a relationship?
single, i can go years.
in a relationship, no more then like, 3-4 months probably.
I understand why some people are up-in-arms over what this guy has said. The thing is, most people react to that statement from their own perspective and current/past position with sex. I think I can understand where the guy is coming from, and if I'm right, then where he is coming from is a completely different position than most of you guys. And I don't mean how he's handling it - what I mean is what he is reacting to.
I'm female. I'm 40. I'm married. And for a long, long time, I thought my husband had low sex drive. Come to find out, he's just ... lazy? That's not quite the word for it, but it may give you a decent enough picture. He just could not be bothered.
This has been a big issue for us. Huge really. It's not about the physical act of sex. It's also about intimacy, connecting. It's that one special thing that I'm doing with this one person. It's my time and devotion and it's a gift that I give to him. And he didn't want it.
Eventually that, and other issues, brought us to the point where I told him: See a therapist, figure out what is going on, or that's all there is to it.
My point in all this rambling is that for most of us, we have a well adjusted view of sex. We want to have it on a regular basis if we are in a committed, sexual relationship. But some of us have issues which result in withholding sex. When you find yourself in this kind of relationship, it's awful. I found myself caught between really loving this man and simultaneously wanting to beat him until he pays attention.
And that's probably where that kind of statement comes from: PAY ATTENTION. This is an important issue to me and you're ignoring it.
It all depends on the mood. With the right moodkiller or just me not feeling well, I can go without sex for 3 to 4 days.
The longer I go without sex, the more I want to have sex when I finally do get it.
hm a year? .. maybe longer?
Sex is not that big of a deal.
My future husband is in the military, so guess what. I go months, up to even a year or more sometimes without sex. You don't need it to survive so I don't want to hear that bullsh!t. If you really love someone you'll love them no matter the circumstances.
@RoidBear@xanga - Wow, I tip my hat to you, man.
@josiebunny@xanga - I agree, I definitely would not be happy with my (hypothetical) husband if he said sonething like that to me.
I'm still a virgin, so I'm not sure, but I'd like to think that me and my boyfriend could go without it if we ever started having sex.
@RoidBear@xanga - HIGH FIVE!
Being open about how you feel. Good. Threatening? Douche bag. If you've never had sex it doesn't count! Yes I just said that! Sue me! But not having sex when you're not in a relationship is a lot easier than being deprived of it when you are (yes, i said deprived, i'm not suggesting it's a right, but it is a desire, like cookies, you can say you're being deprived of cookies when you're on a diet, right?). I don't think I've ever had regular enough sex to really contend here though. In the 7 years I was with my ex we regularly had sex once a month, except when we skipped a month, then it was every other month. Sure on many levels we both wanted more, but we didn't for other reasons. Blah. I'll just vote two weeks.
@imakescenes@xanga - True, you don't need it to survive. If you really love someone, sex can wait as long as it has to.
@Never_go_quietly@xanga - *high five*
@BlackSunshine7@xanga - Thanks!